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29 December, 2005

The slug of Sheikh Zayed road

A tip for the lady driving down the centre lane of Sheikh Zayed road: when massive, oil tanker juggernauts are speeding past you in the slow lane, perhaps it is time to pull over.

In fact, if you can't manage more than 40kmph on a major freeway, perhaps you shouldn't be driving at all.

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32 Comments:

Blogger Balushi said...

I cant wait to see what will happen to Saudia after they allow women drivers!!!


why cant people just get a bycycle instead??

29 December, 2005 09:15  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha

I don't mind the driving - it's a bit like genetic cleansing. If you are an idiot and drive like one then you will die - lets just hope that you do so without taking anyone else out at the same time.

29 December, 2005 10:52  
Blogger Moona said...

balushi are you misogynist? loool
just joking no offence
People who can't drive faster should keep on the right it gets on my nerves too

29 December, 2005 11:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's like the indian drivers who insist on driving in the fast lane with a huge tailback trailing them, straining their battered old cars to the limit but not even thinking about moving to another lane. Seriously, perhaps the Kuwaiti idea about educated drivers would not be a a bad thing.

29 December, 2005 12:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous @12.13 said

"It's like the indian drivers who insist on driving in the fast lane with a huge tailback trailing them, straining their battered old cars to the limit but not even thinking about moving to another lane. Seriously, perhaps the Kuwaiti idea about educated drivers would not be a a bad thing. "

are you for real??
what does nationality have to do with driving skills? As for education, I daresay it that the indian standard of education is far superior to your western education. At least we learn to spell properly and know what is the root of a quadratic equation.

stop displaying your stupidity on public forums such as these !

29 December, 2005 12:30  
Blogger CG said...

balushi, I don't want to start a sex war in here, but I hope that you do know in the UK women get lower insurance rates than men, because they quite simply have fewer accidents.
Saying that, I do agree that a snail in the fast lane is somewhat irritating. As I say, 'shit or get off the path'.

29 December, 2005 13:22  
Anonymous mohamed Elzubeir said...

A bit off topic here, but is it just me or is anyone bothered by the radar with a few feet away from the 120kph speed limit change (from 100kph)? The one that comes up when driving from Dubai to Adbu Dhabi (couldn't they at least add directions to street names? North, South, etc.. jeez).

When driving to Jebel Ali, there is this radar that is quickly followed by a 120kph speed limit sign. The speed limit up to that point is 100kph. I can't really figure out if that radar is set to catch people speeding based on the 100 or 120 limit. They had it switched to watch the road from the other way during Gitex 2005 and now they put it back on the Jebel Ali way. Really annoying, if you ask me -- especially how everyone suddently breaks around that patch.

Dubai Police, here's a suggestion, move them away from each other. Unless, of course, the objective is to confuse us silly.

29 December, 2005 13:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mo, I know exactly what you mean. I drive down SZR every day and hate that one radar. To be on the safe side, I stay at 100 through that radar and then speed up after the 120 sign...until I get caught up in the DMC slowdown that is...ah, dubai.

29 December, 2005 13:48  
Blogger Balushi said...

Cj, you wanna know why women have lower insurance rate? I will tell you!


Because they drive slow and break unnessary and cause men to overtake dangerously out of frustration! Thus men Ends up with accident.


Have you heard about Ellen of Troy?


She caused Bloodshed in History with Nation fighting each other! Yeah ofcourse it wasn't Her Killing the people!


BUT SHE CAUSED IT.


Get it? I dont think you do, if you could then you have used your own intellectuals.

29 December, 2005 14:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to see one of those fancy radars or black boxes detect the guy doing the Sudoku puzzle while driving at 80-100Km/h in the 120Km/h section on Sheikh Zayed Road in his Range Rover.

It obviously can not detect stupidity.

29 December, 2005 14:50  
Blogger Mr Smith said...

Dear anonymous @12.13

just cos you know some square root doesnt mean you have the common sense to drive on a packed road.

It's a fact though (and most stereotypes are based on fact), that most honda civics are driven by indian men who insist on staying at 80kph in the 3rd or 4th lane while trafic is speeding past eitherside. Though really I put it to sheer terror and feel sorry for these guys if you look at the terror on their faces I think theyre scared to change lanes as another A.D. driver squeels past on the inside lane .....

29 December, 2005 14:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@Anonymous @12:13

{ Kuwaiti idea about educated drivers would not be a a bad thing. }

Many UK/Europe Expat General Managers wil lose their Driving License...lol

29 December, 2005 16:09  
Blogger desertblog said...

Dear mr smith @14:56
Shouldn't that be a Nissan Sunny? ;-)

29 December, 2005 17:08  
Blogger scarlettepimp said...

hey balushi, did Helen of Troy take up kabbalah like Madonna and change her name to Ellen of Troy??
how did i miss that??
and as for women drivers, i will kick your baluchestani ass any day.

29 December, 2005 17:23  
Anonymous mohamed Elzubeir said...

Mr. Smith, although you may be wrong about the Honda Civic being a choice of car for a certain group of people, the observation about the AD cars is on the money.

I drive a BMW 530, so I am not as terrified as I would be, if I were in a Toyota Echo or similar. I also am not the world's safest driver -- I do my fair share of speeding and cussing at people, for the same things I sometimes do. Yessir! Road rage baby.. drive 2 hours to work and another 2 hours back and you will be doing just that.

The point of all this, despite all that, I still get out of the way the second I spot an AD license plate. I don't mess with them, _at all_. It's funny cause you have the occasional folks here commenting about how much better it is in Abu Dhabi.. bull. AD drivers are the scariest -- it is as if their cars are not equipped with a brake pedal.

This is coming from the guy who drives at 129kph on a 120, stays one lane away from the left lane unless overtaking. My rule on the road is, if you are sticking with the maximum speed limit, you still haven't earned the right to be on the left lane. If you are breaking the law.. ah, that's for you ;)

29 December, 2005 17:27  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh boy, if you think female drivers on sheikh zayed road are a hazard, how bout 4x4s parked on sidewalks flikering their ever so powerfull chinese white/blue headlamps, running you over on the side walk onto a one lane 2 way road...notorious!

29 December, 2005 17:53  
Blogger Balushi said...

Secy, I dont know why are you angry at facts and Nature!!!


Women is the reason that I am living in this useless world, if it wasnt of a women we would have been happily living in paradise!!!


how can someone drive while losing blood???

and milk sometimes!

29 December, 2005 18:12  
Blogger karachidude said...

i'm ready for the hate

everyone knows most women cant drive

and @anon12.30 indian drivers really dont know how to drive fast, if you dont believe me try to recall all the times you see a lancer moving in the second lane at 80km/h because most lancers sold belong to indians

29 December, 2005 19:36  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bottom line is that there has to be more police on the road to stop these idiots who drive slow on the fast lane and the ones who cut across three lanes and zig zag between cars as if they are at an amusement park ! not to mention the ones who drive on the hard shoulder to cut infront of everyone cause they are "cool" . there needs to be more policemen on the road giving fines and impounding cars FULL STOP !!

29 December, 2005 23:45  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I AGREE !!!

30 December, 2005 00:00  
Anonymous syais said...

I'm not a misogynist, or a racist, but I must admit, the sight of my British wife driving away scares me sh**less. She doesn't have many accidents, but the mayhem she leaves in her wake is truely frightening.

30 December, 2005 01:06  
Blogger _sublime_ said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

30 December, 2005 01:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

to Mr Smith and anon@ 12.13
If they decided that education is the basis for a licence, most British General managers won't get them because in reality they're plumbers and fitters. Everyone knows that there are'nt any porters or mechanics in blighty any more. their council houses are empty while they're taking bank loans here to buy a villa at the springs

30 December, 2005 12:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm an Indian driver have been driving here for the last 10 years. I have an American car and drive 48 km on the Sh Zayed road and jebel ali highway to the free zone everyday. I do anything between 120-160 even at open stretches and Yes i get frustrated by the slow drivers in the fast lanes or any driver driving at 80 Km/hr in any of the lanes. The point is it is not restricted to any nationality. I am behind European women who insist on doing their makeup whilst driving in the fast lane, European men doing their ties as they drive along, Women of any nationality with 'BABY ON BOARD' , kids in the back seat, driving at a speed which defies belief in the mistaken notion that they are driving safely and taking care of their kids. I have been behind Locals who insist on driving and looking at the constructions along the road and losing their temper because they think it's their right to look as its their country. AND to top it all i've been behind pakistani lorry and bus drivers who have absolutely no clue as to what an indicator light is, safe distance is or for that matter speed limits are. ignorance is there in all nationalities. on this site quite a few racially based masks are coming off.. SAD !

30 December, 2005 12:51  
Blogger kingfisher said...

balushi - you are an ostler

30 December, 2005 21:45  
Blogger BuJ said...

balushi is politically-incorrect entertainment

31 December, 2005 01:39  
Blogger _sublime_ said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

31 December, 2005 04:02  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't care what their nationality is, you find them on roads worldwide, but I seriously believe that capital punishment is suitable for people who insist on driving way too slowly in the 2nd or 3rd lanes of a road. In fact, I would suggest that people who wish to drive at the speed limit but are stopped by the jerk on his mobile phone crawling along in front should be allowed to use specially-fitted rocket launchers to blow the offending vehicle off the road. Either that, or fit cars with a large snow-plow type device that could physically shove the offending driver into the slow lane where he belongs.

By the way, I can now drive on the 311 from just outside Sharjah to Ras Al Khaimah at 120 kmph without ever once coming out of the first lane because all the slow hondas, lancers, pick-ups and small trucks are stuck resolutely in the second lane and it is easy to whizz past them on the inside lane.

31 December, 2005 11:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you !!!

01 January, 2006 17:35  
Anonymous sid said...

how typical of a post from Dubai. Im Indian , i have a Jag ..the S-type R. its a 4.2 liter monster. ive had it for 6 months and im already paying fines worth 2000 dhs. Even After driving here for 5 years and knowing where the radars are. Stop racial profiling!!

04 January, 2006 10:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Balushi, you're a plonker. End of discussion.

08 February, 2006 14:50  
Blogger emzgetiton said...

Having just read the comments on this txt, I am amazed that our learnerd friend thinks he is the 2nd immaculate conception? I wonder how he thinks he came into being without the aid of a vagina? All I can say is that his father must have had a multi-function penis! As for the comments on female driving? One wonders if his father 'mulitasker' went as far as his brain? Obviously not...........

11 February, 2006 03:12  

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