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01 October, 2006

Sandy hand shandy

The problem with perverts in the sandlands is that they just won't stop at a leer and a wink. They are unable to wait until they get back to their private quarters before indulging in a vigourous pocket-rummage:

In Jumeirah Natalie from Belgium was flashed at whilst walking to get a taxi.

"He seemed normal at first but then I realised he was thrusting in his trousers," she said.


No wonder that the boys-in-green are bringing in a "three strikes and you're out" policy aimed at the boys-in-blue. We will fight them on the beaches, promises Brigadier Khamis Al Mazeina, but what about fighting them in the streets as well?

"Some women also reported that vehicles with tinted windows crawl past them on the street and the male drivers offer lifts or try to make inappropriate conversation."

"Tinted windows"... but expat bachelors aren't allowed blacked-out windows, surely? Oh...

Labels: , ,

41 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, what you are saying is that anyone with blacked out windows (more than the 30% LEGAL limit), is a wanker?

I can see where you are comin' from!

01 October, 2006 07:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Sometimes a man will see an opportunity with a woman when nobody is around. He might think she will be too scared to tell anyone but perhaps girls are provocative as well,"

That's exactly the sort of attitude that'll make sure that nothing changes around here for the next few hundred years.

01 October, 2006 11:11  
Blogger Jassim said...

I know alot of guys who are not Local who have 80% + Tinted windows.

But you know what? If any of the our boys-in-white get caught doing this with bad intentions, then we should deal with them old school style...and publish their photos in the newspapers.

01 October, 2006 11:19  
Blogger CG said...

I have blacked out windows...and let me tell you something from the other side.....I have lost count of the number of women every single effing day who try to flirt with my truck.

At traffic lights I have Jumeirah Janes in Pajeros giving me 'the' look.
At bus stops I see the ladies edging up their skirts (but wait...I only pulled over to get the kids dvd working..hehe)...in dark roads they just open the door and try and jump in (one actually spat at me when she saw I was female....as if I had tried to pick her up or something)....and the best is passing by the English College...the teenage girls are hot for black windows and cute number plates.

I tend to think the women should be looking at the behaviour of other women before they condemn men alone (I know they are all wankers anyway, but cut them some slack, afterall imagine what it is like having balls to think with).

01 October, 2006 11:31  
Blogger Harsha said...

Anon @ 7:47..

If the bachelors arent allowed or wouldnt have the exceeding 20% tints, the locals would. Is what shes trying to say.. I guess..

01 October, 2006 12:57  
Blogger Shaper85 said...

@CG

I went to EC! You are right - white girls are hot for the percieved bad boy behind tinted windowed.. uh did you say you drove a truck?

01 October, 2006 14:01  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

since the first time i called cop and they failed to show up when some pervert tried to harrase me, i decided to take matters in my own hands. i kicked one ( literally ) in rigga str, slap one near creek, scolded and humiliated one (made him apologize) who offended my female friend in beach park,smashed my umbrella on one tried to grob me in an elevator.. Its just technically not workable to call the cops ( or even send email !!) and wait for them to capture the pervert.

I hate this phenomenon about dubai, but i think these guys are just so sexually deprived and frustrated, due to the reason we all know. I m sure most of them are just some normal guys back in their home countries.

I dont think most of them deserve a jail term, but they had it comming when they messed with me.

01 October, 2006 14:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A very tiring phenomenon

01 October, 2006 14:41  
Blogger SIN said...

For anon at 14.34...u go girl..uumm presuming u r a girl. But take it from someone who has lived here long enuf, cops don't do shite...and you get hit on the most by cops!

So my question, who polices the police? I was hauled into a police station and almost booked coz a cop tried to flirt with me and i didn't fall over with glee that a man in green was lusting after me.

My license was taken away, I was harrassed, fined and humliated. I finally filed an official complaint, and fat lot it did! Just managed to get my ID back and was asked to leave four hours later!

01 October, 2006 14:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From what I can gather, there are just 3 reasons for having completely blacked-out windows:

1) You are so f**king ugly that if anyone saw you they would scream.
2) You are addicted to wanking and cannot wait to get home before having a fiddle so you sit in the dark, teasing one out.
3) You are a f**king ugly wanker who cannot wait your turn at the lights/roundabout; pushing to the front like a spoilt child because you were not taught any values by your neanderthal parents and have a 'I'm better than you' attitude. Your car is a very much required extension of your penis and your wife is agonisingly unsatisfied.

You are not better than everyone else, you sir, you with the black windows pushing to the front, are a wanker.

01 October, 2006 15:15  
Blogger secretdubai said...

From what I can gather, there are just 3 reasons for having completely blacked-out windows

There is a fourth. There was a lady with a mentally handicapped daughter who used to wave at other vehicles. Men would not realise that the girl (who was around 20 years old, grown-up age anyway) had learning difficulties, mistook her waving for a come-on, and would follow and chase the car. As a result the authorities allowed the mother, an expat, to tint the windows. Admittedly that's a pretty rare case, but there are you are.

01 October, 2006 16:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shaper85 said...
@CG

.. uh did you say you drove a truck?

01 October, 2006 14:01


probably Canuck or Yank. All SUVs, utes and pickups are collectively called trucks there.

01 October, 2006 17:23  
Blogger CG said...

it is a TRUCK. ok.

01 October, 2006 18:19  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Secret Dubai , I must say , you are doing wonderfull job by running this blog , I never miss any of your articles and i like your interesting topics , and you have the guts to take onb any topic . SD may i have your personal email address where i can stay in touch with you and where i can request you to write on some articles that i want you to .

01 October, 2006 18:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Topics I'd like to see covered. I've sent these to the newspapers as food for thought but predictably they've fallen on deaf ears.

1. How the other half lives. Not a feature on Karama dwelling Asians but more a day in the life of a 'Japengo' local -the new generation of self employed twenty something UAE nationals that are often western educated, spend their week days sampling Dubai¹s café culture and manage their businesses remotely. Is this reflective of a progressive society or just a prosperous one?
2. Is the UAE really a melting point of cultures ­ or merely a simmering pot that could boil over as expats overwhelm the nation. Do the various different cultures mingle and mix and stick to their own kind? Are we seeing the start of some resentment towards these 'guests'
3. What about the lost generation of expat children born,raised and working in the Gulf. They speak fluent Arabic,remain foreigners, grow up and suffer from an identity
crisis. The question Where are you from? Often evokes detailed responses. What is their fate will they ever have the chance of a permanent stake in a society to which they are keen to add value to
4. Is the guest worker based economy a dream solution that
other nations could emulate or is it storing up problems for the future? Can the nation continue to build it¹s future relying on a never-ending expatriate workforce
that will never benefit from any permanent stake in society. Perhaps it¹s a question of More nationals for jobs¹(create more citizens) rather than more jobs for
nationals¹¹?
5. Why are the police powerless to stop the idiots on our roads? What will it take before sanity amd safety is restored?
6. Are the UAE¹s antiquated labour laws actually harming the Economy due to their non-competitive nature? Do bans that virtually enslave both blue and white collar
workers,prevent the cream from rising to the top and serve only
to ensure that poor de-motivated performers stay in their jobs? Does this together with poor investment in training and low salaries partly explain low standards of service in many establishments here?

I hope you have the chance to feature these in future...

01 October, 2006 22:16  
Anonymous anna said...

on a slightly different note here's an interesting article from the uk press... http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1885281,00.html

02 October, 2006 05:21  
Blogger ironcurtain24 said...

Regarding the topic perverts in dubai.... we all know there are planty of them arround the city... but i was surprised when i was there and a good friend of mine (24 year old descent asian girl) lost her Identity card... so we went to police to tell them... as we have been waiting there for 1 hour the policeman (local looking guy) didnt see me, and just told her.... "Yes baby, whats the problem wit you" ... i mean.. when i saw that... i really didnt know how to react, but i really was surprised about the way they look at women in each field of life... but i have to say its funny on one side, but also really sad on another one... Actually we just have to understand and to learn how to deal wit them, and there shouldnt be a problem... And all these newly becoming "perverts", they became not becouse they are like that, they became becouse the society is wanting them to be like that... for me not just locals are "guilty" and "perverts" there are also many of others.. actually.. far more other "pervert" foreign nationals from accross the world who sattled them there in the sandland... thats the way it is... and we just have to take the best out of it... ;-)

02 October, 2006 12:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Off Topic:

Etisalat did not violate any law with its recent offer. How is consolidating market share before the entry of competition illegal?

Simple. 50% of Du is owned by the CEO and Chairman of UAE. Etisalat is not. So any move in the next few months by Etisalat to sign up new customers to contracts will be frowned upon. Since it leaves no customers when Du launches in the new year.

Who wants to bet that within 3 years Du is either equal or bigger than etisalat?

- DD

02 October, 2006 20:21  
Anonymous skcottub said...

The devil has taken hold on Dubai, all Dubaiees are ddomed, be they indigenous or expat.

The wanker and prostitute roam freely on the highways and air conditioned enclaves of this massive sex playground.

Hail, the Devile will rise and rule in Dubai! Dubai, a dark city where the secret cravings of the phallus can be had. Where the bush can be annointed with lashings of pleasure, till screams of escatacy echo throught Dubai. Dubai, the land that pulsates with the ever increasing thrust of the naked, proud and errect sensibility as the women strain force open wide their innermost pent up desires to receive the joy of utter abandonment.

02 October, 2006 20:28  
Blogger rummyjohn said...

skcottub ...

do you do childrens parties?

02 October, 2006 22:21  
Anonymous screwed_mind said...

I think if women are allowed to show off their body parts in a teasing way, men should be allowed to do the same!!

In Dubai, heat plays a major role, I think they have to take "stuff" out sometime and nourish the skin in the free air. Lots of Vitamin D can be absorbed through sunlight and that's the only part that does not get sunbathed frequently.

I think ladies in Dubai should be more considerate toward this important tool of men and pay more respect since this little bit of flashing won't hurt anyone!!

On the opposite side, ladies can do the same thing and see if prestigious Dubaiian would ever complain or bother calling cops.

03 October, 2006 02:39  
Anonymous skcottub said...

be adventerous and dig deep, delve into the secret underworld and imbibe the aroma of the forbidden warm and velvety fruit. Suck hard until even the onlooker gasps at the sight of such intense and whanton greed. Open wide and let him take his fill, as he consumes the fruit, until you produce screams of utter and uncontrolled pleasure. Abandon yourself to the unspeakable stabs of the a throbbing joy never before experienced.

Let all Dubai join in in this orgy of complete and pure delight. Let no man or woman abstain from partaking in the feast. Join in, join, till all of Dubai heaves and moans with a unified pleasure and gasps for more. Let all members of Dubai stand proud and errect this day to proclaim their right to self fulfilment. And the women of Dubai, open wide to receive with unreserved and unashamed greed the complete and marvelous annointing of the fruit. Let any who wishes to suck hard on the fruit, to their hearts content.

The devil has indeed taken a grip on Dubai!

03 October, 2006 04:25  
Blogger Cokey said...

If men are flashing, so should Women in UAE !!

Atlast all women agree they are equal to men so why not give an answer back instead of whining and crying..

03 October, 2006 08:10  
Blogger Cokey said...

Is it true if some idiot is crossing the highway and you run him over. ITS YOU WHO HAS TO SUFFER AND BE CRUSHED!!

Check this poor guy out..Victim of an idiot


Motorist ordered to pay Dh200,000 in blood money
By Mohammad Shamseddine, Staff Reporter


Abu Dhabi: A motorist who accidentally killed another man will pay Dh200,000 in blood money in addition to a Dh3,000 fine, a the apex court in the country has confirmed.

The motorist, identified as I.A., was driving his car on a four-lane highway in Sharjah at 100km/hr when a man, identified as M.T., suddenly crossed the road.

I.A. told the Sharjah Court of First Degree that he did not see the man crossing the street when he hit him.

According to I.A.'s testimony and police reports, M.T.'s body broke through the windshield and settled in the passenger's seat due to the impact.

The court accused I.A. of accidentally killing M.T., reckless driving and damaging private properties.

The court ordered I.A. to pay a Dh3,000 fine and Dh200,000 blood money. The court also suspended I.A.'s driver's license for three months.

I.A. appealed the ruling, stating that he was not driving over the speed limit (100 km/hr).

He also claimed the lighting was low and it was M.T.'s fault to cross the road on a highway.

The Federal Supreme Court turned down his appeal and upheld the ruling of the lower court.


What do you guyz think? Should he be punished for someone elses mistake or he deserves to pay 200,000 ?

03 October, 2006 08:18  
Anonymous dubai sucks ass said...

Cokey:

don't tell me, let me guess... M.T. was a local and/or a moslem...

i was in Geant just last night and just wandering around... i came across a bunch of korans... and there was a sign that says: "non moslems kindly refrain from touching the holy koran" (because you're all unclean and filthy infidels no doubt)

normally i would be against any kind of book burning, but...

03 October, 2006 10:53  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@ Dubai Sucks Ass,

Unless they are wearing their infidel locator specs they will not be able to tell if you are a Muslim or not. Why not sneak a quick look at a Koran? I did, although it didn't make much sense, turns out it is just a set of instructions on hard shoulder usage, kitten-through-window-at-high-speed games and maximising parking space usage.

Although I may be mistaken and picked up a highway code by mistake.

03 October, 2006 12:22  
Anonymous shave or die... you choose! said...

yeah LOL.. Islam is supposed to be very superior and stuff, but it turns out that the moslems are the worst lot, with a completely warped set of ethics and morals...! even satanists don't oppress and intimidate people... and they even shave their beards for gods sake..!

if their beards are so big and ugly imagine what their pubic hair must look like LOL!!!

03 October, 2006 13:32  
Blogger secretdubai said...

shave or die - pretty much all muslims trim or remove much of their body hair, as part of their religious observations. Beards even if long are always trimmed, and pubic hair - for men too - is also.

03 October, 2006 13:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

shave or die.. you choose -

hey why don't you go give a muslim head and then you can clearly see what their pubes look like?
But I can understand why you have a warped sense of Islam if you live in Dubai and pay too much attention to western media rather than seeing the world from your own eyes.

03 October, 2006 14:05  
Blogger kingfisher said...

What a hoot this thread has become! I am going out to buy a "truck" with blacked out windows to drive around and spot the local babes who give me the "eye" at stop lights which are increasinly encroached upon by unruly drivers who don't know the Koran is not a drivers' guide and look for the great golden copulations taking place in "skcottub"s Jim Morrison-esque halucinations on the red hot streets of Do-buy...

03 October, 2006 14:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous @14:05.

And the arab media is the most unbiased and peaceful media in the world right??

They never ever call for the killings of infidels, accuse the jews of drinking blood and call terrorists freedom fighters, celebrate the death of Kafirs, and talk shit about other religions.

- DD

03 October, 2006 15:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon 15:05
I certainly did not say arab media is completely unbiased dumbass - re-read what i wrote; does it say that anywhere? You have simply taken what i wrote and made your own interpretation of it.... go suck on that.

i said... see the world from your own eyes.

The extremists - have made their own interpretations of what the religion teaches. Over 1/4 of the world's population are Muslim and they are NOT JUST ARAB!

Typical Arab self proclamation - they are calling Islam a superior religion and calling all others inferior is not the way of Islam.

03 October, 2006 16:18  
Anonymous skcottub said...

Look upon it lovingly, gaze at it with unmitigated guilt, and breath in the perfume of nature as it's rounded form rises under the triangular forest of Eden.

See how the two rims of the mound part, and the creamy juice issues forth. Hold yourself steady as you look at the beautiful mound offering itself for sacrifice. See the upthrusting movement as it begins, but hold yourself steady still, even though the staeam and thunder inside is unrelenting.

Watch now as the now quivering mound moves with increasing thrusts, almost begging you to accept it's juicy offering of unrepressed and whanton bliss. The lips part further, the hollow in the mound inviting, nay thirsting for your rugged intervention.

So I say to all citiezens of Dubai, be yourself, take what is yours and annoint the fruit with the fullness and joy that it deserves. Go drink the wine, eat the flesh, suck hard even though it squelch and scream with the extreme pleasure of fulfillment. The time has come for Dubaiees of all nationalities to stand proud and errect in face of the throbbing and fully parted mound.

The new Dubai,as ruled bay the devil is here!

03 October, 2006 20:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

skcottub y dont u shove a giant mound of coconut in ur anus and try to hump ur cars silencer while ur in heavy traffic. the result will be bloody mary with coconut pie.this is the ultimate sacrifice

04 October, 2006 16:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

skcottub

Are u D H Lawrence reborn?
Guess u hav landed in the right place.

04 October, 2006 22:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First, Regarding the Pervs in Dubai, i think this (phenomenon) is Really, REALLY increasing, you know why? cause these pervs lived their whole life in a restricted environment, where seeing a girl Face was considered Taboo (Stupid Traditions i Know), and when they finally had the chance to break the bonds a little bit, get the minimum amount of freedon, they started to Act (PERVY) thinking, YEAH im cool!!! it makes me Sick, Really!!.. however, the old School style punishment (jassim) referred to, i dunno about that... i mean it could be pretty harsh.. and it effects these guys' future, assuming that they will learn a lesson if they got caught without getting their photos published in some newspaper. Plus you cant generalize the idea that all guys having tinted glass are pervs or Wankers :P....

Second of all, regarding Islam and some of the comments published in here, Having Beards is not necessary, hey im a muslim, i follow islam, and hey i dont have a beard, plus it would be really great to take a look at some islamic books and know that pubic area and arm pits are to be shaved... its even a healthy cuz Bacteria actually gathers in this hair and causing some sort of infection... but not (Most of the hair is to be shaved) as SD Said!!...
Extreminist in Islam (which im not a friend of, or actually dont like) are the ones who has these 5 foot long beards... something also cant be generalized...

09 October, 2006 13:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@ 6.40

Its quite ineresting reading these comments. I recently joined this blog and sorry to say...but there is more shit going on in Dubai than just "tinted wankers"... yea i like the sound of tht ....harrasing innocent gurls of different nationalities.

The fact is ... arab oil reserves are running out... UAE allies are getting corked in the Butt (by the USA obviously) ... they have a need to expand their knowledge or resources if you will...? thats one of the reasons for arab nationals every year branching out of dubai...getting the western degree (or education) to support their future families and secure their wealth and heritage. GREAT .. sounds good for them... nice and rosy.... however, there is a much darker side to their success and globalization. While arab nationals are in other countries or lets say "in the process of making"... their family members, couz , relatives, chauffer, li't Rasheed who is 16 and just got his license and many others are just trying to catch up with the western approach thier arab sons and daughters are learning abroad . How do they implement their new gained knowledge from their offshore (arab national relatives)..? By going to night clubs in their Hijaabs and Bourkhas..(covered top to bottom) and stripping down to nothing once they have entered the night club premises. They drink and dance, expose their honey milk nutt cherrio skins, and send a bigger picture to the public surrounding them --> "This is my country and I am here to please you.... entertain you...however, if you make an attempt to touch or grope me... your faith shall be determined by the edge of a blade and shall end with your deminse"

On the other hand... the sons learn the basics of other languages so that they can hire and communicate with foreign expatriates to do their dirty work. The end result ... they acquire our attention .. shag our brothers (a good majority are still living in the closet), sisters, mothers and g/f's ... and most of all ...encourage global investments by opening malls and indoor ice- cities etc. There is no peace anywhere.....

11 October, 2006 03:16  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sad that people have no other talk but sex, bitches, babe in tennis, english college girls, booze ... Literaly, any where i go, the same topic

any one passing by any bus stop for kids can hear words fuck off, pussy, mof .........! kids, 8 to 12 year olds! just imagine what will happen when they grow up and have kids (if they survive york booze overdose or domething)

Seriously long term people of dubai will remember when there were no cable tv in dubai and no moral problem AT ALL (98%) The intro of jewish channels make any place hell where ever it goes. Children strip, sex is in, where tight "abhyas" everthing is in and morality is old, un cool. morality is not good, just fuck drink and influence your junk to all ....

13 May, 2007 19:05  
Anonymous California said...

I just got back from Dubai , I was going to open a new shop there until I seen how crappy it was there . The Hype is just that. people don't care about nobody but themselves and the law only protects itself. No way would I go back. Parties are better and safer in Las Vegas

15 December, 2008 09:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey secret dubai..looks like etisalat is wise to your blog....
shame really...

i was born and raised here..

im so disillusioned with life here...

the only things that make life bearable are my friends...my girl friend and my family....

24 years i lived here... and what do i have to show for it...nothing..

Im brown skinned, ive got a bachelors in engineering...but i doubt i would earn more then 7,000 dhs here, if i were white...it would have been atleast 10,000 or more...its a sad truth....the racial divide is like the grand canyon here...sigh...

but...one thing i love about dubai..
shisha...shawarma...al reef bakery and karama...

good times....


A shout out to anyone who went to st marys for year 11 in 2002...

08 April, 2009 01:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's a lot wrong with Dubai, but I get really sick of all the racism against Arabs connected with all the comments about it.

I had many good experiences with Arabs in Palestine.

31 January, 2010 22:39  

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