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02 April, 2003

Belated April Fool's?

In today's Sun: the revelation that "fallen" "star" Michael Barrymore is set to resurrect his TV career with a one-million-quid deal in Dubai. According to his agent, he is in talks with TV station Magnum Communications in the Emirate. Barrymore is apparently "a big name in Dubai, with repeats of shows like Strike It Lucky winning huge ratings."

1. There is no TV station called Magnum Communications in Dubai

2. There is no TV ratings system in Dubai

3. Even if there were, Dubai's population is just 971,000 people. Of these, 65 percent are subcontinentals, most of whom are too poorly paid to own a TV set, even if they spoke English, which they don't. Another 31 percent are Arabs. Less than 4 percent are Europeans/palefaces, and the vast majority of these are business and finance people, hardly the target market for Barrymore's line of crap.

4 percent of 971,000 is 38,840. Factor out the business people, thinking people, people who can afford cable, and people that can't stand Barrymore, and you are left with a sum total audience for the "fallen" "star" of approximately three people.

I would hazard a guess they are a Brummie oil rigger and his wife in a Bovis-home-style "villa" in Mirdiff, and someone's elderly mother who visits two weeks a year for the Shopping Festival and can't work the remote control.



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