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06 April, 2003

No tricks in our trade

"Do not beg or solicit any favours while on the bus."

Dubai's new public transport website has a nice fat list of "dos and don'ts." As well as the gem above, they include:

* do not spit through the window
* do not play a musical instrument on board
* do not make announcements

Like the first cuckoo of spring, the first crappy baseball cap of the year has been forced upon some weary, corporate-gift burdened hack at a media event somewhere, signalling the merry (re)start of Press Conference Season, after a lengthy hiatus due to Ramadan, Christmas, the Western New Year, Eid, the Islamic New Year, the Iraq war and general laziness and apathy.

Yes, the Season of Gifts and Endless Pointlessness is upon us once more. Farewell to areas of rainforest the size of Yemen, as the "digital lifestyle" people spew out their kilos of acid-gloss corporate crap. Step down Jong Il and Moo Hyun: the real Korean heavies are drawing their swords - mobiles at dawn. Welcome back regiments of stainless steel buffet dishes, each one's contents colder and more congealed than the last.

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