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02 August, 2003

Baywatch Dubai

Like flies to a honeypot, Margery's lily-white skin attracted a huge swarm of shalwars at the public beach today. No sooner had she beaten them off, wielding her mobile and crying Police! than her sun-reddening face was once again overshadowed by some moronic pashtun. "Hello" was the extent of his introduction, as his two leering sidekicks moved in for the kill with a video camera. Eventually, the increasing crowds of perverted subcontinental fuckwits drove poor Margery from the beach, to the safer shores of City Centre and its flocks of ogling dishdash.

It's little comfort for Margery that pirated videos of her shapely form are now being circulated as premium plank-tugging material in labour camps all over the Emirate.

Baywatch Saudi would be an interesting prospect. All the female lifeguards wearing abayas from head to foot, and anyone giving anyone else the kiss of life would be stoned. Compulsive viewing, surely.



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