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07 August, 2003

Not Quite a Lovely Evening

No luck yet for Margery, finding an eligible man in the dives and cloobs of Dubai. Hopes were high when invitations arrived for an exclusive and exciting sounding party, from a leading electronics firm. Maquillage, coiffure - and the schoolmistress was ready to meet some of Internet City's brightest and best.

It was not to be. Instead, a horror awaited. The guests more closely resembled a subcontinental chapter of the Masonic Lodge than any of the UAE's C- or even D-list. Food was not served until midnight, thanks to thirty or forty subcon gentlemen each thanking ElectronCo at excruciating length for various awards for product sales. An exquisitely terrible presenter was shipped in from Channel 33. High-pitched, hyper, screeching northern Indian voice: "And hello to all of you in the US and the rest of Europes!" "Wasn't it great?!" "All of you men tell your wives you're going to be late home tonight!!" "Are we having fun?!" "That's not loud enough, I can't hear you!" NO, you stupid cow. Shut up long enough, and you will hear us replying NO NO NO.

The highlight of the evening was surely the band. Five Indian men of slight stature, complete with moustaches, jackets and ties, doing disturbingly impassioned covers of Hotel California. The keyboardist was a favourite: with his spectacles, slightly thinning hair and staid playing style he looked more like an IT network administrator, setting up his keyboard with a firewall and virus protection.



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