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22 March, 2004

Burn the Witch

There can be no word nor phenomenon more excrutiating in the 20th/21st centuries than that of the "guru". Even those as enlightened as Lola LebCan fawn over these peddlars of snake oil for the soul. Their horrific success over the past few decades leaves one torn between two plots bubbling away in the cauldrons of Guantanamo Cell Block G:

1. Self Help Books Are Shit
Rottweiler a different self-help, "leadership" or new age tome in each chapter, tearing apart their glib bunkum with savage, slavering teeth. Case studies of those following this drivel to the last letter - yet still witnessing their lives descend into a hellish spiral of misery and failure - will enlighten and encourage the reader. Bonfires shall be even more numerous than the Harry Potter Burnings, cremating "Chicken Shit for the Soul", "Seven Steps to Fuckwittedness" and their sorry ilk.

2. The Way of The Djinn
Jump on the bandwagon of bilge, and publish a hocus pocus mishmash of faux Bedouin mysticism and traditional Arab tribal "culture", peppered with trite vignettes of simple robed peasants endlessly drawing plans in the sand. Patience and Peace - let the ancient wisdom of the desert revolutionise your goals, priorities, and life success.



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