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23 March, 2004

Taking the fuckwits to task

Hi [name]
dont laugh ok ....promise
you did fine
well i saw your picture by chance
i liked it
you look smart firm sexy and passionate
i like to know you more
good for me am easy to be checked on
you can find my books on www.[website].com
and you can add me to your msn and check my profiles
hope we will soon be friends
good things take off fast :)
send me mail lets communicte
bye for now and take care
i know you didnt laugh
i hope you will smile now

Dear Samir,

Thank you for your letter. Can I be completely honest with you?

Firstly, I am not looking for new relationships.

Secondly, as you can probably tell from our website, I am a professional business executive. I realise English is not your first language, but I find emails such as yours - with no regard to spelling, grammar or punctuation - a total turn off.

Surely you know that it should be "I" not "i"? That sentences begin with a capital letter and end with a full stop. That it should but "don't" not "dont" etc?

If you want to impress intelligent, English speaking women, then you need to develop a correspondence style that does not make you appear like a semi-literate, lazy school child. A woman like me would never dream of entering a relationship with a man with such poor literacy skills.

Simply running the text of your email through a Microsoft Word spelling and grammar check would have corrected your many mistakes for you.

Thirdly: I find it somewhat disgusting and offensive that you look at a photograph of me on my work website, and deduce that I am "sexy and passionate" from it. Had you found my picture on a pornography site, fair enough. But "sexy and passionate" is your interpretation, you cannot possibly tell that from a single passport photo of just my head.

Good luck with your search for relationships and friendships, and I hope that you take my advice in the kind spirit in which it is meant.

yours sincerely


Exec VP


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