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26 May, 2004

Ice Age Arabia

There is only one real question in Dubai: Garhoud or Maktoum? And there is only one answer: neither. Battening down the hatches for another night in the dusty desert of Cell Block G appeals far more than braving either of Dubai's two permanently gridlocked bridges to reach City Centre Shopping Mall.

But the Samurai commands attendance at a film premiere in aid of an Iraqi charity. The Silver Shadow is loaded with provisions and emergency supplies, and the long trek to Deira begins.

The Samurai opens the night with a speech to the largely Iraqi expat audience. The words are incomprehensible to the pale-face, but it is clear from the intensity and the audience reaction that this is battle rhetoric worthy of Trotsky. With Chalabi out of the way, world domination is a step closer for the Samurai.

Most films would be an anti-climax by comparison. But this is The Day After Tomorrow, a film where the US President (=Bush-a-like) dies; the evil, ignorant and arrogant vice president (=Cheney clone) eats enough humble pie to end third world famine; and the Land of the Free freezes over leaving its inhabitants to seek mercy among the Mehicanos. A newscaster announces: "Mexico has agreed to take in American refugees after the President agreed to write off all Latin American debt."

But the sun would have to explode and the moon melt before he agreed to leave Iraq.

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