Hello Sailor

At the exact moment a leering be-turbanned big-bearded Pashtun appeared on the remote and otherwise empty beach, Margery's bikini top decided to have a moment of incompetency. A sharply hissed: "Janet Jackson alert! Janet Jackson alert!" was to no avail as Margery looked right, left and behind her, utterly bewildered. Long after the peeping Pashtun had enjoyed his eyeful of the Best of British, Margery explained her confusion.

"I thought you meant Michael Jackson was singing at the nearby mosque."

Margery's shining lilywhite beacons also managed to attract the attention of a passing naval vessel, the HMS Rutshire, which quickly anchored at Port Rashid and lowered its gangplank. A vast swarm of officers-and-gentlemen surrounded Margery and herded her into the mess for a long and tiring night of champagne and clubbing.