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12 August, 2004

I, Router

US Robotics inviting hacks to a screening of I, Robot is as disturbing as Dubya handing out free tickets to Fahrenheit 9/11 or Saddam Hussein hosting a night of Bigger, Longer, Uncut. Returning back to Cell Block G it is a relief to find the router is not glowing red, though it displays its usual psychotic behaviour of refusing to obey orders without frequent reboots.

USR's promise of a new, super-intelligent all-in-one model is more worrying still.

Hamid, the UAE's most stunningly good-looking and stunningly naiive dishdash calls: he is in the midst of a romantic catastrophe. Hamid has been lucky enough to hook with an equally stunning Jordanian girl. Unluckily for Hamid, it becomes increasingly clear as his sorry tale unfolds that she is a purebred example of the species aurum fossor.

"We go to Syria and she dance with these guys, she says they are gay guys, but she won't dance with me."

Etc. Hamid is left with a broken heart and a totally shattered bank balance.


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