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29 September, 2004

Neutering young talent

Dubai Sports City and the International Cricket Council have come up with a unique new method of population control for the subcontinent: a cricket academy for talented youngsters.

"The academy will concentrate on neutering this young talent to become the cricketers of tomorrow," a dishdash informed the audience.

If only they could have got to Shane Warne at an early age.

Plenty of eunuch-like talent turned out for the extras auditions for the new George Clooney film - "Syriana" - due to be shot in Dubai. As long as most of the action involves Clooney wandering around the showground for Lebanon's Mr Universe 2005, past huge crowds of perfumed, pampered, slicked-hair Leb-lads, the casting agents should have nothing to worry about.

A colleague asked what the film was about.

"Two guesses - and they'll both be right - what are the only things the Middle East is known for?"

"Oil? Terror?"

Full marks, and full marks again. The film is actually based on an ex-CIA agent's memoir, "See No Evil", which according to is:

"See No Evil is Baer's ... forceful plea for the CIA to return to its original mission - the preservation of American national sovereignty and the American way of life."

Should be immensely popular with the locals.


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