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02 May, 2005

"Bricklayers wanted"

"Must feel comfortable laying one brick after another. And even using cement."

Nearly as pointless, facile and insulting to an entire profession is the Khaleej Times' recent advert for journalists, or more specifically, "UK/UK/South Africa/New Zealand/Australia educated" journalists. Whities only, please. Never mind that 95% of the KT's readership is Asian.

"We are looking for self-starters who feel comfortable one day writing a review and the other covering a news conference. Plus of course being able to do interviews as well as other features."

Exactly what does the Khaleej Times imagine that journalists expect to do when they buy their first trench coat and trilby hat? The sad truth is that journalism in the UAE really does consist of turning up at a press conference, asking an irrelevant question that has been already explained thrice, taking a tacky gift and press release back to the newsroom, and typing it up as verbatim as possible, with a few extra errors sprinkled through for variety.

Most terrifying in the KT's job ad is the promise (=threat) that the newspaper will provide "networking" opportunities and "the chance to develop your writing skills".

Imagine: in just a few months, you too could be writing like every other half-wit housewife in Sharjah, making a bit of pin money through inane scribblings about your uninteresting children, the latest hospital opening or the World's First Launch of an Amazing, Best-of-Breed product first revealed in Korea four years ago.

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8 Comments:

Blogger Keefieboy said...

So you don't think this is a positive sign that KT actually wants to improve its standards by hiring people who can actually write in the language that the paper is published in? It would certainly make a change. I might even apply for it (not).

03 May, 2005 14:25  
Blogger Keefieboy said...

Aaagh, 2 'actually's' in one sentence. I'll never get the job now!

03 May, 2005 14:28  
Anonymous Builderboy said...

I am not being troubled by the KT english usages at all. So I am not understanding the regard of this post. Will someone please make explanation to me?

03 May, 2005 17:39  
Blogger secretdubai said...

C&P that into your application letter: you'll almost certainly get the news editor's job ;)

03 May, 2005 18:08  
Anonymous builderboy said...

I will be doing the needful and depositioning an application presently. I hope I will own lucky and getting me the job.

03 May, 2005 19:10  
Blogger Keefieboy said...

Esteemed Builderboy, you grasping the english fully excellently. We are wishing you accept position of Managing Editor. In your estimation what is earliest date which you can start at?

This highly remunerative offer made only on condition that you continue tradition of cramming bits of 20 stories onto front page and scattering meat of stories at random (bifurcating if necessary) in rest of paper.

04 May, 2005 01:25  
Blogger L Lucan said...

The advertisemnt is having the following text as appended below
"We are looking for self-starters who feel comfortable one day writing a review and the other covering a news conference. Plus of course being able to do interviews as well as other features."
Maybe is should also be having the phrase "and should also be having a very excellent command of the English grammer".

10 May, 2005 15:53  
Anonymous Sheikh said...

Secret Dubai, what else would you expect in a place that is one big farce run on hype and hypocrisy, which would still have only camel shit and kubuz-guzzling morons keeping their harems in the sands, if it weren't for a wee bit of hydrocarbons underground?

03 July, 2006 13:42  

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