View to a thrill

Lola LebCan has organised a press event at Gleam Tower, part of the new concrete forest growing on the banks of Jebel Ali. Like every other one of the hundred-odd skyscrapers built up around it, it boasts exclusive "desert and ocean" views. Dust and dredging is more apt.

The show apartment contains the dream Arabian fit-out: opulently vulgar furniture, two bathrooms for every bedroom, a maid's room the size of a hamster cage - but, best of all - a robotic web-enabled camera system installed in every room.

Never again shall the desperate cry be heard through the keyhole: "Quick! Slip some bog-roll under the door - I've run out!" Instead, flatmates and family can enjoy a live feed of all the lavatory action, and anticipate every need.

The usual tough and incisive questioning by members of the media includes a query on whether the bathroom camera lenses feature mist-free glass, lest any steaming-up obscure the soapiest moments. Lola fields the question in her usual expert PR style.

"Have everyone take cold showers only," she suggests. "It keeps things perkier anyway."