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13 August, 2005

Highest of high teas

With few oil sheikhs to be found in Dubai's many malls, Margery decides to have a last shot in a more refined environment: afternoon tea at the Burj. After roasting herself for the past week by various pools and beaches, and buying every flounced peasant skirt the sales have to offer, the formerly lilywhite prim schoolmarm is now a nut-brown gipsy temptress.

"Traditional tea" at the Burj Al Arab is an interesting concept: largely because it is a tradition found nowhere else throughout the known world. Except perhaps - on a reduced scale and renamed "Devonshire" - at Ye Olde Tea Shoppe, Stratford upon Avon, served expressly to baseball-capped, camera-strapped American tourists named Hank and Velma.

Alas for Margery while Hank and Velma haven't yet quit quaint Britain for ay-rab-land, their British counterparts have. Far from sheikhs or sultans, the nearest thing to royalty is an apparent pearly king and his queen on an adjacent table, telling the waiter what a super holiday they have had:

"We've bin avin' a luvverly time, treated like royal'ee everywhere we've bin."

Fortunately fresh scones, dainty sandwiches and petit-fours numb the disappointment, and Margery decides on a bit of culture rather than clubbing for her final evening. Abra-riding across Dubai Creek in her elegant tea-gown, her dainty ankles attract plenty of attention, but for now she has given up on a Middle Eastern paramour. Instead, Margery is off to Guernsey, where hopefully plenty of burly, woolly-sweatered fishermen await.

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13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've not even read your blog, but, man is it good! Whoo hoo! I wish I had a spam-blog to promote, because, honey, I'd put the link right here!

13 August, 2005 01:51  
Blogger Storm in a Teacup said...

We feel naked without a baseball hat and camera when travelling.

Thank god fanny packs came and went, though, because I never would have been able to, in good conscience, incorporate that into the Overseas uniform.

13 August, 2005 04:33  
Blogger secretdubai said...

There were *three* spam comments on here - the first two almost immediately after I'd posted it. I am starting to wish Blogger would do that codeword "human" identification thing (when you have to type the numerals and letters from a weird graphic).

13 August, 2005 05:56  
Blogger Queen-M said...

Sorry to hear about your "spam problems". When/if you find a solution, please share it with all of us.

Intelligent observations!

Btw hope the recently added advertisements on your page eventually will result in some sort of renumeration of the time and effort you put into your blog. Finally, it seems as if Dubai is developing a public sphere - even if only a virtual one.

13 August, 2005 10:10  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I was a bit worried the ads were spammy - I put them up kind of to see what keywords I would generate (the hit rate is no way near high enough here to generate cash - this is solely a labour of love). So far they're quite predictable, but the funniest is some Baptist preaching thing that keeps coming up - must be because of the entry about mosque preaching a few days back.

The reason I went to AdSense was to get that Google search thing so it's searchable.

Re spamming: I wish Blogger could extend Captcha to Comments-making. I like anonymous people being able to comment - not everyone wants to sign up for a Blogger account - but it would be good to weed the humans from the bots ;)

13 August, 2005 10:21  
Anonymous mohamed elzubeir said...

Funny as always.. now, as for Adsense, I put those up for the same reasons you have. Just wanted to see what would happen. So far I have generated a whopping $2.13 ;) Maybe by 2020 I will have that $50 they promised to send.

As for spam, yeah, it's a never-ending problem. One of the many reasons I blog on my own server -- I make the rules, not google or whoever. Surely that's not an easy option for most though.

13 August, 2005 10:49  
Blogger cncz said...

although i am american, i have no love for other americans abroad. no love. great post!

13 August, 2005 15:48  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Before a certain US blogger gets on here, I will point out that there are some great expat merkins here. Maybe not tourists, but resident expats.

13 August, 2005 16:22  
Blogger Yours Truly...Conman said...

I sometimes need to read your posts two or three times to really understand them...
trust me... that ain't a good thing.
????? Whatever... totally.

13 August, 2005 16:28  
Blogger Hurricane_ said...

cncz, Would you mind explaining why you don't have any LOVE for US citizens abroad ?

14 August, 2005 01:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CNZ, I hope you realise when you travel you are one of "those American" tourists you speak of with disdain.
I've have the pleasure of dealing with tourists from all over the world and it seems to me they all sort of dress the same regardless. Camera, t-shirt, shorts. I can't tell you how many Japanese tourists I"ve seen wearing NewYork Yankees baseball caps.

15 August, 2005 14:14  
Blogger Hurricane_ said...

FUNNY , The reason the Japanese wear the Yankees cap is because of Hidaki Matsui for plays for the YANKEES.

15 August, 2005 18:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yours Truly: Perhaps the reason you have to read SD's entries twice is because you are thick. We've all read your blog.

PS. YANKEES RULE

16 August, 2005 11:58  

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