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07 September, 2005

Sticky wicket

Some spectacular last minute fielding by Australia saved them from total embarrassment against the Dubai Media XI. Wicketkeeper Rod Marsh nearly dropped two catches from an unknown Indian batsman, but skipper Malcom Speed dived in to grab the ball seconds before it hit the grass.

The match took place at an ICC press conference, with the ball being a question slogged in such unintelligibly heavily-accented English that even after it was repeated, both teams were left in a corridor of uncertainty.

Later, Malcolm confessed that he was just as stumped:

"Sometimes, you just have to answer a different question to the one being asked."

Not quite fair play, but surely the Aussies would never cheat at cricket?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mind you, to be fair - do the English even understand cricket?

07 September, 2005 18:28  
Blogger Smokey Mirror said...

Does anyone? ;)

07 September, 2005 18:35  
Blogger clayfuture said...

I understand cricket, but I can't figure out american football... or rugby. Looks the same!

07 September, 2005 20:11  
Blogger Hurricane_ said...

American football and rugby are not the same at all. NOT even CLOSE

07 September, 2005 20:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that is such an insult to football (ie American which is the only way) ! Only an ethnic must have made that comment.

08 September, 2005 08:00  
Blogger clayfuture said...

Like I said, I don't know those 2 games and not even interested.

Anon -
"Only an ethnic must have made that comment."

Why does it always come down to this!!

08 September, 2005 09:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is it boiling down to this always?

Now what exactly do u mean by ethnic??

08 September, 2005 09:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why are these comments so totally and completely unrelated to the post? Go rant about sports somewhere else.

08 September, 2005 09:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These comments occur when the main topic is as exciting as a ....zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Cricket is the only game that beats Golf as far boredom is concerned.

08 September, 2005 10:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why is sri lanka better than UK in cricket???

08 September, 2005 14:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

American football and rugby are similar in that you mostly carry the ball, and kick it when appropriate. That is where they are similar.

Where they differ: American football is really an awful game that was mainly crafted as "filler" between looong tv commercials. Watched and played almost solely by Americans (and, of course, a handful of misguided ethnics), this mildly amusing game consists of between 20-25 minutes of actual "playtime" in between timeouts and advertisements.

This is a SPECTATOR sport. That means you watch it with friends, get drunk, eat buffalo wings, whatever. It is not a real sport.

Oh yes, and the players wear "pads", which if I'm not mistaken, are worn by 13 year old girls during their first forays into womanhood.

Basically if you play this sport, you are a little bitch.

08 September, 2005 15:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the rugby vs American 'football' score, it's as per "the ethnic one". 'nuff said.

On the garbled English being fielded about these days (no pun intended), South Asian English is just one aspect. Check out 'Bushisms', American spin, double talk and media sound bites and the world of entertainment for totally bizarre comments. It's like the world doesn't speak English anymore. Like, you know know what I mean?...(Not!) ;)

08 September, 2005 16:45  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I did feel sorry for the guy - literally no one (except possibly his fellow countrymen) could understand him. He may well have been speaking flawlessly fluent English, but the accent was just disabling.

At a former company I worked a colleague had similarly accented English, to the point where even after months, many of us could never understand him properly. I could only bear to ask him to repeat something twice, after that I just felt rude, and guessed or improvised.

I felt especially terrible when he was telling me quite a moving story about his life, and I just could not understand any of it, except that it was about his past and it still moved him (which I could tell by the way he spoke and his expression). I made sympathetic noises etc, but I just didn't know what else to do.

08 September, 2005 18:16  
Blogger Hurricane_ said...

@ ethnic one
Actually the game is played for 60mins with four 15 mins quarters.
I DARE you to wear some football pads and step on a field, I bet you will get your HEAD blown up and I am sure you would be crying like a little BITCH. As the joke goes "you only play soccer(football)because you are too small and fragile to small a real sport like Football".
The only reason they wear PADS is because the guy on the other side wants to KILL YOU. Its a mordern day GALDIATOR sport,the crowd cheers when there is HUGE hit and the player doesn't even recall where he is.
I have great respect for rugby, I really don't understand it but it looks like a brutal sport as well and the only reason they don't wear pads is because the tackling is very different from american football.

Ethnic, when ever you fell you have more testosterone than you can handle step on a football field.

08 September, 2005 19:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are an idiot. First of all, learn to spell-- there are no such words as "mordern" and "galdiator".

Secondly, the topic is unrelated to soccer (ie "real football", which is another real sport), so your comments do not apply.

Thirdly...enjoy being tooled by the ads during halftime, and shitty beer because that's what "real men" drink during the Superbull. Tell me, in what other sport does Janet Jackson (of all people) sing during halftime, and cause people to gossip like little schoolgirls at the flash of a breast?

ps I would dominate you at a game of rugby. Scrumhalf, bitch.

pps I am American.

And lastly: Your username is inappropriate and insulting in light of the current hurricane crisis.

08 September, 2005 20:04  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Tell me, in what other sport does Janet Jackson (of all people) sing during halftime, and cause people to gossip like little schoolgirls at the flash of a breast?

You mean in what other *country*. Most other western countries wouldn't have given a shit about a flash of boob, and we certainly wouldn't have fines and lawsuits like the US had.

08 September, 2005 20:42  
Blogger Hurricane_ said...

@ ethnic
ohhhhh "Look Mommy I found some spelling errors" , grow up.

You find my name inappropriate and insulting, well DEAL WITH IT.
I never claimed to be good at rugby so I am sure you can school me. All I was saying was if you think Football is not a tough sport , put on some fuckin PADS and step on the field.

YOu are an American Wanna BE

08 September, 2005 20:52  
Blogger secretdubai said...

And lastly: Your username is inappropriate and insulting in light of the current hurricane crisis.

FFS. Hurricane_ has used that username for months prior to Hurricane Katrina.

You think every woman called Katrina should change her name as well?

It really is attitudes like yours that give Americans such a terrible name internationally.

08 September, 2005 21:02  
Blogger Hurricane_ said...

He is not an American, he is a wanna be, I doubt he was born or raised here. I have yet to meet an American who favors rugby and soccer over FOOTBALL.

08 September, 2005 21:27  
Blogger Brn said...

hurricane, I have met many good Americans who prefer soccer or rugby over football.

And both hurricane and ethnic, I have never understood this idea that if I love A, then anyone who likes B must be stupid/wimpy/whatever. Why can't people just like different things?

08 September, 2005 22:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rugby is like American Football, but for men.

09 September, 2005 02:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


09 September, 2005 11:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there's one thing i know, the Americans are getting better at soccer. they were able to secure a ticket to the world cup next year. currently they are ranked 6th (i think). American football is different from Rugby in regards to rules, gameplay and of course PAY...American sports has the best salary in professional sports worldwide..that's why Ethnics thrive to be good at it, and some have been successful..

09 September, 2005 15:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ppl .... why all the "ethnic" talk .. can't we leave that out of the equation?

Regarding all the sport bashing... Different people like different sports - deal with it. And whether a person likes balerina or American football or Bull fighting, does not make him a lesser man or woman.

Just my views.

10 September, 2005 08:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

secy, post some new news!!!

10 September, 2005 09:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I apologize to hurricane, my comments were out of line. Let's be friends!

10 September, 2005 11:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yea, besides, everyone needs to behave: Gulf News just discovered the "Blogosphere" (hm! trendy word!) and we're now being read by more than just Secret and three other pimply-faced geeks (and yes, I mean you, "ethnic one" and "hurricane_"). (Also, I'm sure you're not spotty, Secret ;-} )

10 September, 2005 14:29  
Blogger secretdubai said...

(Also, I'm sure you're not spotty, Secret ;-} )

Sometimes! If I've had a particularly bad zero-exercise maximum-chocolate sort of a week.

10 September, 2005 15:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry SD to bring up the sports argument again, but I take umbrage at Hurricane's response that no American would choose rugby and soccer over (american) football. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. I am 100% American and play both soccer and rugby and agree that American football is lame. I know an ex-NFL player and he has assured me that the actual playing time is exactly 22 minutes when you subtract all the freaking breaks and time-outs. Hurricane, stop lumping us altogether.

11 September, 2005 14:33  

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