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10 November, 2005

RAK attack

Everyone's No 1 Favourite Frontier Emirate, Ras Al Khaimah, is making fascinating headlines again. First, the ultimate feckless asswipe father, hissyfitting about his bratty children being made to clean up obscene graffiti they had written:

"It said it considered forcing the students to clean the school's walls as a "warning for destroying school property".

"The principal said Hamed had been informed by the school of his children's poor conduct for a long time and he had not responded."

Secondly, this utterly fanny-tastic snippet:

"A report claiming female prisoners hide currency and cigarettes in their private parts was denied by Ras Al Khaimah Police yesterday.

"Police stressed that it had no sources and was inaccurate, and called on the media to be more accurate in following up such stories."

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Blogger Garthicus said...

Brilliant, I wonder were they hiding the cigs indvidually or in packets or cartons? And Currency... Coins??

The fact that they released a statement denying the fact says it all to me.

Sounds a bit like the troubles in Northern Ireland when the IRA prisoners would stash communication notes carefully folded up under their foreskin.....

10 November, 2005 13:06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

these blogs are hilarious.

secretdubai, i love you. you make my life bearable in this hellhole where the saving grace is internet access.

are you single? are you available?

can we meet? i would love to remove the secrecy from your dubai. Please tell us more about yourself

10 November, 2005 13:26  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Sadly, inspired by the antics of this place, humans no longer suffice and I am soon to be wedded to a comely camel called Majnoon.

*fingers crossed camels are included in the Marriage Fund*


10 November, 2005 15:52  
Blogger samuraisam said...

SD, these articles don't even come close to explaining Ras Al Khaimah.

I think this article is the best explanation for anyone that doesnt understand;

Frightened residents of the remote Al Jeer area are appealing to the local and federal authorities for a convincing explanation of the mysterious sounds emanating from a nearby cave. They have rejected claims that the sounds are caused by owls or other birds, but want an explanation for a phenomenon which some say is making their lives a nightmare.

I can't find the article that followed, but a bunch of kids went into this cave and started making scary sounds, then the whole frigging village got scared, and they deserted the place.

PS: i had to use the google search terms ""ras al khaimah" "gulf news" cave sounds town" just to find that article, maybe someone has the link to the corresponding article which showed the youths being caught or something (it was 4 years ago, my memory isn't all that clear on the story)

10 November, 2005 16:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Something tells me, she's already married. I think she's a married brit in her mid 30's living somewhere in Jumeriah :)

It's amazing how easy it is to identify the gender and nationality just by the writing styles! The sorry dubai guy is probably an American :)

Any guesses on my nationality and gender :)

10 November, 2005 17:25  
Blogger samuraisam said...

i'd say you're an american because you capitilized "American"
and you're a male.

10 November, 2005 17:30  
Blogger BarfUser said...

Ras al-Khaimah: the Appalachia of the UAE (and, yes, I'm yet another bloody American).

As for SD ... of course she's hot: she's got a blazing keyboard ;-}

10 November, 2005 21:15  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to admit to knowing SD well. "She" is actually a 57-year-old man, living in RAK (ever wondered why it gets plugged so often?) with only three fish and a pet ferret for company. But he's quite hot in his own, special way.

11 November, 2005 00:29  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Oi! Only 56 - at least for another few months. And I barely look a day over 60.

11 November, 2005 00:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

However, the management of the private school has said it will file a case with the police against Hamed, who took pictures of the children cleaning the school without permission.

Taking pictures without permission is a crime in RAK?

11 November, 2005 02:06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whether sd is is male or female, 35 or 60, i am up for it. SD - give us some detals and do not leave us in the dark.

If you are single, I would quite willingly drop my girlfriend, for a chance meeting with you.

Id guess you are 35 married and british. In which case, can harems be reveresed for sd, so that she can have more than one husband.

Girl, single or not, you get me hot. phew. you know its true. oooh oooh ooh.

11 November, 2005 03:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i reckon she is single, though lt bf, 30 but up for it, pretty damn fit, cheeky, with a great pair of cheeks, twice, and although outspoken here is relatively reserved.

either way, she is smokin'.

11 November, 2005 03:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

watch it, i have first dibs on her.

11 November, 2005 03:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know who SD is..

How much is this info worth to you guys??

- David

11 November, 2005 12:00  
Blogger BarfUser said...

Well, you could post a picture, David, so the next time she's banned we'll all be able to recognize her at the Jumeriah Spinney's and give her secret (erm, "Secret") thumbs-up.

Also, the wacky anonymous guy can start stalking her ;-p

11 November, 2005 13:32  
Blogger said...

Oh its my favorite game on these blog pages..'guess the identity'. I personally dont really want SD to be revealed because a little mystery is fun...But if I had to guess, it would definately be for the mid 30's and british description..single. For some reason a picture of Rene Zelwegger comes to mind.

The Sorry Dubai guy...proberly an Arab American of Levant origin, with a 99.9.9% chance of being a Lebanese. However I wouldnt be surprised if it was revealed that he was a Local or at the very least half Emirati...

@ Samuraisam, that thing about the cave noises really cracked me up and made my afternoon. Thats too funny.

11 November, 2005 14:19  
Blogger samuraisam said...

let's invent a UAE community secret handshake!

11 November, 2005 14:34  
Blogger said...

Ras Al Khaimah certainly seems like a fun place to hang these days... I done a little research into the weird phenomina and dug up this link from rak-lover dot com. Its for all those who are curious about what those mysterious noises sounded like.

11 November, 2005 15:03  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh secy, i am back But i forgot my passwored and username.

I cant write anything on my blog

11 November, 2005 15:11  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Oi - out me and I'll send a thousand angry djinns after you!

And seriously speaking, I'll have to close this place down :(

11 November, 2005 15:27  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the cave voices link doesnt work :(

11 November, 2005 15:39  
Blogger moryarti said...

darn .. that means i can't wear my 'blogger' t-shirt anymore

11 November, 2005 15:41  
Blogger samuraisam said...

it works from here anonymous.

it's the old gulf-news website, so their is a possibility that it might get deleted some day

(i'll archive it)

11 November, 2005 15:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I have the money. You can tell me who she is, so she doesnt get outed, and then i can stalk her. she'll become my secret in dubai. Ill then start my secretdubaistalker blog

11 November, 2005 16:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

David, is she a british asian or british english?

11 November, 2005 16:24  
Blogger Balushi said...

oh our secret dubai has a secret lover!

mr barry, secy likes playboy mansion on Xbox360! *No more information*

11 November, 2005 16:50  
Blogger samuraisam said...

balushi i guess that means she must be in the field of science? because she'd need a time machine to use the xbox 360 as it hasn't been publicly released yet!

11 November, 2005 17:24  
Blogger Balushi said...

MR Samurai, i know that! she plays that on xbox! Mr barry can buy the 360 for her!

11 November, 2005 18:27  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sd, i like to play on the xbox. will you play with me?

12 November, 2005 12:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barry, get a life !

or alternatively start blogging. That would mean using your hands constructively.

12 November, 2005 12:48  
Blogger Balushi said...

mr barry, secy already has a boyfriend AND he has big muscles! you better go awaya otherwise no man would want to be you!

12 November, 2005 15:51  
Blogger Al Mulhama, The Inspired said...

I just loved the repartee!!! way to go Secretdubai!

I agree with the Renee Zelweger/Bridget jones imagery (perhaps not a blonde)

She is also sensitive and shy when it comes to anything personal.

I would further guess that she's bright and bubbly and well grounded, she'd have brown hair & brown eyes and have some stricking feature.... perhaps strong eyebrows and eyes.

I think she may even dive

ok so someone tell me how wrong I a!!!

17 November, 2005 18:38  

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