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20 January, 2006

Highly unwise words

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear:

"However, besides the rapists, I hold a few women responsible for enabling men to rape them for different reasons. Some women go out alone clubbing or spending a night out with two or three men 'whom they consider friends' without knowing their background."

Nasser Malalla Ganem picks up his club, and lumbers off to hunt a few mammoths to take back to his cave.

Labels: ,

42 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

One word sums up my opinion on the guy who said that.

Idiot.

20 January, 2006 02:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, no, he's right. You just know those Filipinas had it coming. They were actually inside their flat when the attack and rape occurred! It's no suprise that these poor men cracked under the strain of their provocative actions!

If there is any justice, these shameless women were swiftly deported so that no more men would be driven over the edge by their indecent and shameless activities!

20 January, 2006 04:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, in some rapes, the women are partly to blame. I am NOT absolving the man of blame, in 100% of rape cases, the man is to blame and should be punished.

BUT, in some cases the victim doesnt help the situation by their clothes or by being intoxicated in dangerous areas.

20 January, 2006 09:53  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the way the claims about the rest of the world get more hysterical as the article goes on, until a picture of a world where gang-rapes happen hourly is created to blot out any uncomfortable facts! No denial happening here, folks. Please move along!

20 January, 2006 09:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dressing provocatively is highly stimulating for an adolescent male and the reason why muslim women are ordered to dress modestly and not reveal their bodies to strange men. That's not rocket science, that's common sense. What bothers me about the article linked is the fact that men who have had their cases adjudicated didn't have any sentence imposed!!!! They were released to their parents or put under legal supervision, whatever that means, but they weren't put in jail. How does that happen??? That's the injustice, and I note that most of the victims were expats? Dare the expat community wage a campaign which suggests expat women are not safe in a muslim country because that country doesn't punish its male sentences who commit rape against women?

20 January, 2006 10:27  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Dressing provocatively is highly stimulating for an adolescent male and the reason why muslim women are ordered to dress modestly and not reveal their bodies to strange men.

Interesting. In most societies the women can dress how they please and the men must learn to control themselves.

20 January, 2006 10:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[i]In most societies the women can dress how they please and the men must learn to control themselves. [/i]

Yes, of course that fits into the equation as well. Ever had your mind wander when a woman walked buy flashing a part of her anatomy you like the most in women and wonder 'my, my wish I could........' That's the response I was addressing with my highlighted comment. And when a man cannot control himself, as in the case of the men in the story, society has to do its part and punish them, which doesn't seem to be happening here in the UAE.

20 January, 2006 10:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Interesting. In most societies the women can dress how they please and the men must learn to control themselves. "

Do rapes not happen in the West?

I do feel rapists should be locked up for at least 10-15 years however, dressing provocatively adds to the danger.

i can carry $100,000 on me without any risk in the UAE or in Singapore, however if i do that in South africa or Iraq and get robbed, do i not share part of the blame?

20 January, 2006 11:27  
Blogger Aditi Malhotra said...

dubai seems to b a land confused between the realsm of modernism & an orthodox society...wen its a tourist country then it is obvious for gals to wear ny type of clothes...coz this is dubai not SAUDI ARABIA...though its not been long dat dubai has been xposed to such western type of clothing but if its a place where multicultures exists...its high time they should not find all this alien...!! plkz hav a broader view.....coz being modern is not being hippocratic

20 January, 2006 11:46  
Blogger John B. Chilton said...

There appears to be some (honest?) confusion between two separate assertions.

Assertion 1 - By the way they dress some women are asking for it.

Assertion 2 - Some men believe Assertion 1 to be true, and therefore women would be wise to take this into account.

I find Assertion 1 to be false. While it is unfortunate, it would appear that Assertion 2 has validity. However, that does not take society off the hook, otherwise we are a party to the manipulation of women's choices by the few (let's give men in general the benefit of the doubt) bad guys who believe Assertion 1 to be true and act upon it. That's what is so wrong with the statements of the "experts" in the Gulf News article.

20 January, 2006 12:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

salaam all,

what is really sad about these news is that if there was a place where women should feel comfortable, regardless of their clothes, it would be among Muslim men, who are told by God to 'lower their gaze'. The best veil is the one pious men wear in front of their eyes.

Blaming women for their weakness is a lame excuse... don't they know the story of Joseph (Yusuf)?

"And (with passion) did she desire him, and he would have desired her, but that he saw the evidence of his Lord: thus (did We order) that We might turn away from him (all) evil and shameful deeds: for he was one of Our servants, sincere and purified. " 12:24

20 January, 2006 12:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lets not forget, alot of women prostitutes end up accusing their clients of rape !

20 January, 2006 13:03  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As usual, people skirt around some points, intent on distorting the others message. Let me put here what most Muslims feel about rapes:

1) Rape is a CRIME. All rapists SHOULD BE PUNISHED

Is this part clear? Ok now lets move to the next point,

2) Women who dress very scantily attract the attention of rapists.
If i know a place to be full of muggers, i wouldnt flaunt a lot of jewellery, ditto for rapes.

Does this mean the men are not blame? NO. MEN ARE TO BLAME IF THEY RAPE.

But when was the last time you heard of a Hijab-clad woman being raped here?


Scanty clothes increase the chance of being raped just as wearing a lot of gold increases the chance of being mugged

20 January, 2006 14:02  
Blogger secretdubai said...

If we lived in a world where old women and tiny girls didn't get raped, perhaps we could give some credit to the "sexy dress" theory.

The fact of the matter is that seeing a woman and getting aroused, and seeing a woman and deciding to rape her, are two entirely different matters.

Just like stealing versus saving up your money to buy something honestly.

20 January, 2006 16:29  
Blogger archer14 said...

"When in Rome, be Roman" goes the saying. And if Rome does not have any punishment to be meted out to rapists, then the simple logic is that you are practically asking to be raped.

20 January, 2006 16:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is really weird that people who subscribe to the feminist cause (mostly men here!) fail to see the sincerity on our part advising women to dress up in less provocative clothes and hang around in places where they are safer. Why is it that suggesting women to wear clothes that covers them is taken as "taking away the freedom" of a gender?

It is not just women who are to dress up covering their bodies, but the same rule applies for men! In fact, men are not just commanded to dress up decently, but also commanded to guard their gaze as well.

It is true that women are more susceptible to the abhorrant desires of some men if they dress up provocatively and hang around the wrong places (at the wrong times even). These men use their superior physical strength and rape women, but it is very clear how weak they are spiritually and mentally.

Why is it that women these days wear such revealing clothes? What is the motive behind showing off so much skin, cleavages and what-have-you? It is clearly to invite attention of others. Add to this the fact that such a provocatively dressed woman is in a place where you are more likely to find opportunist men. As if that were not enough, add the fact that this female and the opportunist man, too, are under the influence of a substance that may make them do something that they might regret later. All this spells trouble and I only ask the unbiased reader to read this paragraph again and then think where the problem lies.

Coming back to feminism, it is very unfortunate (fortunate in some ways!) that this "movement" has died out no sooner than it started. Why is it that women are used in advertizements where they are not even needed? Why is it that the dresses of female tennis stars is provocative whereas the outfits that men wear have actually INCREASED in length!?

I say to the womenfolk: It is up to you to decide if your bodies are being used by such opportunistic men/organizations for pecuniary gain. These men/organizations are worse than individual rapists who at least dont make money out of your beauty. And what about those men who ask you to shed your clothes under the garb of "freedom and emancipation" and then are found wanting when your feminity is looted by other fiendish men such as they themselves?

20 January, 2006 16:57  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Do rapes not happen in the West?

They do indeed. But fortunatly the Western governments have yet to suggest, let alone force, women to dress differently in order help men control themselves.

20 January, 2006 17:34  
Blogger samuraisam said...

So basically what he is saying is that people who own a fast car have an invitation to get robbed?

More importantly, how can someone "enable" men to rape them?

"Some women go out alone clubbing or spending a night out with two or three men 'whom they consider friends' without knowing their background."
I think this guy is a candidate for the wall.

So what if a child walks down a back alley and gets abducted, blame the child, forget about the offender, as is coming the case more and more often from Dubai, they seem to really be allowing many criminals to roam free (i.e. negotiations between idiot companies that don't pay employees and their employees). I hope a darwin award is given to this man sometime soon.

20 January, 2006 17:35  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Why is it that women these days wear such revealing clothes?

Because they want to. Period.

20 January, 2006 17:36  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rape is a crime of violence. Most expert now agree that it is all about the need to dominate a victim. Blaming the victim because of the way she behaves or dresses just compounds the crime. It also is a huge insult to men to suggest that they cannot "control themselves". SD, you're right this kind of thinking belongs in the Dark Ages.

20 January, 2006 17:40  
Blogger archer14 said...

In response to Al-republican.

"It is really weird that people who subscribe to the feminist cause (mostly men here!) fail to see the sincerity on our part advising women to dress up in less provocative clothes and hang around in places where they are safer."
- Sincerity? Women aren't brainless to seek advice from anyone. If you can handle yourself well, you can wear anything you want. The issue here is that women know damn well that this country is yet to come to the standards of a first world country, despite what you see in "Properties 1" and "Properties 2". They are routinely "eye-raped" if they wear such dresses and walk around. It doesnt matter to them until they get raped. This aint the US or Europe where you might only get noticed if you arent wearing ANYTHING.

"Why is it that the dresses of female tennis stars is provocative whereas the outfits that men wear have actually INCREASED in length!?"
- Why is it that women wear swimsuits while swimming? Why can't they wear a tuxedo just like men do? Really, whats wrong with them?
Which world are you in dude? You find tennis wear provocative? Why don't you just concentrate on the game instead of the skirt?

"I say to the womenfolk: It is up to you to decide if your bodies are being used by such opportunistic men/organizations for pecuniary gain. These men/organizations are worse than individual rapists who at least dont make money out of your beauty."
- Someone needs to smoke you out of that cave you're in.

20 January, 2006 18:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is sad how this has turned into a debate about the way women dress.

Rape is not about sex, it is about domination and misogyny.

When you start blaming women or even insinuating that they may share responsibility then you make victims afraid to speak out.

I know two people who have been sexually assuaulted. They were both girls at the time, both reguarly assaulted by a family member. Neither of them will speak out because they partially blame themselves.

20 January, 2006 20:14  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al Republican...Are you kidding? Cos if you aren't, whatever you said is STILL pretty funny and out there. Good one!

(Big deep voice) "I say to the womenfolk: ...." (End Big deep voice)

Ha ha - you had me at "womenfolk"

20 January, 2006 20:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It seems that the men in this article are partially absolved of responsibility because they are "drunk or drugged."

So you're telling me that a group of guys are so drunk they no longer know the basic difference between right and wrong but can still manage to rape someone?

I'm naive on these matters, so could someone please tell me what drug makes you commit rape without being conscious of it?

20 January, 2006 20:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al republican: "These men/organizations are worse than individual rapists who at least dont make money out of your beauty."

What's worth more, money or ...?

20 January, 2006 20:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al,
The reason for short skirts and tank tops - cos its freaking hot in dubai. Its not only about freedom and emancipation as you claim it to be. Maybe there is a little comfort factor in it too, you know. Kinda like tighty whiteys verses airy boxers.

What do you wear Al?

20 January, 2006 20:30  
Blogger Jenny Foreigner said...

"I say to the womenfolk: It is up to you to decide if your bodies are being used by such opportunistic men/organizations for pecuniary gain. These men/organizations are worse than individual rapists who at least dont make money out of your beauty."

Oh yeah, bang on. Having your photo used as part of a marketing campaign is so much worse than the violence and the pain and the horror and total humiliation of rape. Glad you cleared that one up.

And this idea that rape is some kind of involuntary reaction, impossible to control is shameful. To hurt someone that badly you have to act in a way that is deliberate and inhuman. In this case the rapists called their friends to come out and join them.

Rape doesn't just happen to women. The men who try to normalise rape and call it understandable (I'm particularly thinking of some recent letters in 7days) need to think about how humiliating and soul-destroying it would be to be the victim. Rape destroys lives, and rapists need to be punished, not seen as victims of provocation.

20 January, 2006 20:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who can EVER think for a second, that a woman may have ANY part in causing a rapist, or triggering his rapist tendency, is a complete fool.

Would it mean that a jewellery store is to blame for being robbed.. because, obviously, displaying diamonds all over the window is provacative.

I am a man and like most, do occasionally have a women catch my eye. The same applies for women, big deal. But, not for a second would I even imagine what would go through a rapist's mind. There's one thing to mutter under your breath, "damn, I wish I could get to know her..", or, "I'd like to hit that!".. whatever. Women do the same thing. But if someone finds a miniskirt enough to trigger a RAPE, well, ladies and gentlemen, that person is probably best put in a jail cell.

And, listen, you people with the "women shoud cover up.." whatever. Get a life. If you are a woman, cover up whatever you like, show whatever you want. Until then, and as long as you are not the person in question, mind your own freaking business.

Yup, I'm angry.

20 January, 2006 22:48  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

To all intelligent males in here who think rape has something to do with clothes....in sweden during winters of snow and minus 25 degrees, women get raped outside! yes I see how attractive huge winter coats are..

I myself wear a hijab, so what?... you think it makes me safe from rapists? rape is about control and not about sex itself in most cases.

And it is an insult toward the intelligence of women to even try to compare us to money and diamonds that need to be hidden in some safe.

God said in the quran FIRST to the men...lower your gaze...then He adresses the women... that is a sign for all the Rijaal (men) in here... God asked you first which means if you do your job..you won't notice what we wear.

But naturally you don't do your job...so you expect women to carry the burden...

Call it whatever you want, but don't use religion to justify your comments for you fall short and point the finger right back at yourselves my dear brothers...

21 January, 2006 03:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"God said in the quran FIRST to the men...lower your gaze...then He adresses the women... that is a sign for all the Rijaal (men) in here... God asked you first which means if you do your job..you won't notice what we wear.

But naturally you don't do your job...so you expect women to carry the burden...

Call it whatever you want, but don't use religion to justify your comments for you fall short and point the finger right back at yourselves my dear brothers... "


Dear sister, did you actually read what many of us are saying?

We BLAME RAPISTS, regardless of what the victim wears.

However, if a victim wears a tanktop in a sleazy, isolated area, is she doing something silly or not? I am not blaming her for the rape, just pointing out that if you know a plac emight be dangerous, you should use some discretion in what you wear.

21 January, 2006 10:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It really is a shame how men these days are openly talking about women wearing revealing clothes! I wonder if you people allow your women to wear objectionable clothing just because they feel like wearing it? And then have no problems with other men (as one person suggested) "raping them with their eyes"? Why leave it to other men, I am sure you would love seeing your own sisters/ daughters/ wives/ mothers in that attire?

My advise stands to all sincere women out there and I will conclude with the most idiotic statement I have seen in quite a while (women, you can reflect on such a mentality); when I asked previously:

Why is it that women these days wear such revealing clothes?

Tim Newman said:
Because they want to. Period.

There is a lot I can say to this statment, but I frankly give up!

21 January, 2006 20:29  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I wonder if you people allow your women to wear objectionable clothing just because they feel like wearing it?

I think the whole difference in attitudes can be summed up by the way you phrase this question.

We don't see adult women in terms of "ours" and needing to be "allowed" to do something. They are free adults, they make their own choices. Of course they do what they feel like doing.

I understand that many people here find women (or anyone) wearing "revealing" clothing to be abhorrent. We find the idea that someone would try to control what we want to wear abhorrent. (Despite this, we do have public "decency" rules in the West too).

Different cultures, different attitudes.

However I would hope that both cultures see rape as vile and indefensible, regardless of attire. Do normal men go and rape a woman because they like what they see of her body? No. Rapists rape. There's the difference.

21 January, 2006 20:45  
Blogger secretdubai said...

And to answer the "why would we want to [wear revealing clothes]?" question:

Because the sun can feel nice on your skin. Because it's nice to feel your body being free of the restraint of too much clothing, it feels natural and unrestrained. Because if we don't need to keep warm, what's the need to cover certain areas?

21 January, 2006 20:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SD:

It is not about us owning women in our household; we own men in our household, too. Our religion (and dare I say the Christian and Judaic faiths, too) command us to dress up in an appropriate manner. So we raise a hue and cry even when our men are scantily dressed or acting in an inappropriate manner.

Please dont think this is just another way we "mozlems" use to "oppress" our women. I am sure you might not think this, but maybe others do.

22 January, 2006 09:57  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

22 January, 2006 13:03  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know of a case when I was working in a law firm in dubai where a five year old girl was raped by a national. He was let off the offense because the little girl was wearing "revealing clothes" in her BACK garden and he could not control himself. Shame on her!

22 January, 2006 13:12  
Blogger secretdubai said...

How can i post a link here???

Cut and paste the URL.

22 January, 2006 21:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

22 January, 2006 22:02  
Blogger secretdubai said...

"hideously outdated.... "

Comments such as these wont help this blog's cause, will they?

Just as personal attacks are a no-no, so is attacking religions.

I am sure SD agrees with me


I do, and I have deleted it. And also your post (to remove the quote in it - sorry about that. The rest is above).

22 January, 2006 22:12  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

There is a lot I can say to this statment, but I frankly give up!

Yes, the concept of a woman being allowed to wear what she chooses is despairing for some.

23 January, 2006 11:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This thread's gone to the pits! The issue is RAPE you bloody idiots (you know who u are)!!

(excerpt from yahoo education - definition of rape)


Rape, in law

in law, the crime of sexual intercourse without the consent of the victim, often through force or threat of violence. The victim is deemed legally incapable of consenting if she or he is known to be mentally incompetent, intoxicated, drugged, or below the age of consent at the time of the rape....


Raping a prostitute is also a RAPE!

Why the heck are so many of you making turning it into a religious issue? What the heck has it got to do with the way one dresses? Why are the laws so lenient toward these demented people? Those people behaved like animals and they were set scot free! What do you think they or their friends are going to do the next time they see a lady (could be anyone... you, your wife, your sister or your daughter) walking down the street?

The fact of the matter is... (and for reasons known to us, no one wants to accept in the open)
(i) These people were all criminals (juvenile or oherwise)
(ii) They probably got away because they had connections
(iii) From the Gulf News article, a majority of them were Gulf Nationals
(iv) Either the gubberment doesn't consider rape a serious offence
OR the laws don't apply to the offenders based on their nationality.

Morons, like the one who associated rape with satellite tv, drinking and dressing and others on this thread make me wonder if it has to do with this place or whether its a barometer into the decline of human nature.

Surely, things aren't like they used to be. I remember an incident here (a long time ago) when a mother, grand mother and daughter were abducted and then gang raped in a remote location. All were killed - If you ask me, thats what they all deserve!

(sorry about the long post... could stand some of those ridiculous comments any longer)

24 January, 2006 14:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what do the extremists and fundamentalists say about this issue?

Just always remember...no one has the right to step into anybody's right. But the thing is some society permits this thinking. Probably not getting the right education and the right state of mind. There are some places where people don't have equal rights.

08 August, 2006 15:20  

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