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14 March, 2006

Feeling horn-y?

If so, try to find somewhere private. Don't make the mistake that this British couple did and do the dirty in your car... at least if you don't have a 100% black-tinted bullet-proof sheikhmobile:

"The couple told police they had alcohol in a pub and were then spending time together. The woman denied having sex and said they were cuddling. She accidentally bumped into the horn, while they were on the driver's seat. Medical reports proved they had sex.

"The Dubai Court of First Instance fined them Dh2,000 each, sentenced them to a month and they will be deported after serving their terms."

In other surreally spooky news, a man who fell into a hole got Dh6,666 compensation.

What was down that hole? Hades?

Labels: ,


Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

love the title of the post

14 March, 2006 05:17  
Blogger BreastImplants said...

The lawyer's son was spurned perhaps.
Maybe he wanted in on the action, but couple told him to bugger off.

Deporting the couple seems a wee bit too much.
This wouldn't have been blown out of proportion if the lawyer and his son weren't involved.
The coppers would've given them a hard time but would've let them go with a warning.

Now people who should be deported; the perv who flashed my friend in broad daylight as he took a shortcut through the back alleys of Muraggabat Road.
Poor guy.

14 March, 2006 06:06  
Blogger dubaibaggie said...

They made their mistake when they parked to commit the act. If they had been driving at 150k+ (presumably somewhat erratically) nobody would have paid any attention however long and hard the sound of the horn.

14 March, 2006 07:30  
Blogger Garhoud said...

SD-just a small note:
Your margins-the article text overlaps the column (list of blogs) on the right side of the screen. Some of the words are missing.

14 March, 2006 08:39  
Blogger archer14 said...

Moral of the story - You don't need to surf porn sites for some live action right across your jumeirah window. Timing as well as voyeuristic skills are also most important for 100% satisfaction. Just make sure you're alone while you're at it. You don't want the police tapping you on the head when you're squinting through your binoculars.

14 March, 2006 09:15  
Blogger Balushi said...

One night I caught two young british couples in their early twenties having sex in the dark alley not far away from my home!

They taught i was a Cop! so i tried to tell them i am Not... and the girl offered me sex so that I dont blow the whistle on them!!!

Did i accepted the offer? Ah! Not telling.

14 March, 2006 09:16  
Blogger John B. Chilton said...

Dateline Dubai: Horn of plenty in the front seat of my cah.

Brings a whole new meaning to sitting on the horn.

14 March, 2006 09:26  
Blogger John B. Chilton said...


A friend of my mine was flashed here. The driver of a car pulled over and asked for directions. She approached the car and saw he was pantless.

She burst out laughing and the guy sped off.

Later, the police showed her mug shots of habitual perps. Unfortunately she didn't remember his face. They had no other pictures to offer.

14 March, 2006 09:32  
Blogger secretdubai said...

text overlaps

Garhoud - thanks for mentioning it, others have also commented on it but I use Safari and it's perfect. I will have to do some cross platform testing ;)

Later, the police showed her mug shots of habitual perps.

Ah - well there's their fatal mistake. The *face* isn't what they should have been showing ID shots of...

14 March, 2006 09:43  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Well, this will do wonders for Dubai's image in the UK. Fair enough, having sex anywhere is a crime.

But carrying out medical tests to prove sex took place is a flagrant breach of basic human rights, as I can't for one minute believe they were voluntary.

Would any girls on here feel anything other than sickened to have to undergo a medical test of this nature?

14 March, 2006 09:58  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Sorry, that should say "public sex anywhere is a crime".

14 March, 2006 09:59  
Blogger wallah?! said...

The link to the Gulf News story is not working. Can you please check if it is correct. Love your site and would like to read the article.
Many thanks!

14 March, 2006 10:00  
Blogger Harsha said...

In Dubai not as much is the test carried out, in this case it makes sense (from their viewpoint)

But in Sharjah, the police just go around catching guys and girls just hanging around together, if found in a car, and they arent related, they are thrown behind bars and the girl must go through a test that checks if her virginity is intact. Happens alot - in sharjah.

14 March, 2006 11:03  
Blogger Shaper85 said...

I'm curious... what medical tests are used to prove that sex happened? Now I can understand that if they were having unprotected sex and were allowed to finish.. well then there would be "evidence", but other than that, how can a doctor know if you've just been having sex if you were using protection?

14 March, 2006 11:49  
Blogger Minkey Chief said...

Sharper85, watch Memoirs of a Geisha.

14 March, 2006 11:59  
Blogger Harsha said...

did it say anywhere that they were using protection? well anyway, there are other means of precautionary measures the woman must have taken. In any case, what I'm curious to know is.. how long did the honking continue for the lawyers son to find them? she bumped into the horn and decided to just sit there?

14 March, 2006 12:02  
Blogger CG said...

Will somebody explain to HArsha what happens when you finish?

14 March, 2006 12:44  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

FFS, these virginity tests are notoriously unreliable. All they do is check whether the hymen is intact or not. It is reasonably common for a girl's hymen to be broken without sex, especially if she is engaged in activities like horse riding or gymnastics, and she's in her later teens/early 20s.

If there is a more depraved, perverted, and medieval practice than virginity tests, I have yet to hear about it. They'll be forcing girls to wear chastity belts next.

14 March, 2006 12:45  
Blogger CG said...

slimey situation is my guess

14 March, 2006 12:45  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Will somebody explain to HArsha what happens when you finish?

If you're a man, you get up an leave.

14 March, 2006 12:46  
Blogger the shadow said...

I'd be too worried about my leather seats...ewww. What ever happened to using a staircase?

14 March, 2006 12:53  
Blogger hannibal said...

tim's right...

however in dubai, sometimes he leaves some money behind.. force of habit you see

14 March, 2006 13:16  
Blogger BreastImplants said...


I have to agree with SD. Judging by your friend's reaction, I guessing his face wasn't quite as memorable?



You don't need to live in Jumeirah for live porn. Sometimes having a furnished apartment adjacent to your residence is good enough.

I can't vouch for the quality though

14 March, 2006 13:35  
Blogger flamin said...

LOLLLL @ cg :P

14 March, 2006 13:45  
Blogger Harsha said...

No No CG, I'm not really interested in what you do, I meant more generally.

14 March, 2006 13:53  
Blogger archer14 said...

@John B. Chilton
Your friend should've punched him in the face repeatedly till he got out to get back at her. And all she had to do was just walk away. Running in his b'day suit is not an option for him.

@BreastImplants (ugh...that id of yours is tasteless)
Quality or no quality....nothing beats a free show. Gimme some prime time locations please...Sorry if I sound like 'dengrousboy'.

Oh c'mon...if you were a guy, you'd never wake up your parents if you had a chance to witness some hot stuff. So this means it must've happened the other way around :-P

14 March, 2006 14:36  
Blogger Balushi said...


a gay men was arrested sometime back but he denied being a gay and having sex with another men!

So the Judge ordered an Egg to be put in his back; If the Egg enters without breaking!! Then it means he is Gay.

Can anyone enlighten me...

New Fake Balushi Says:

Sorry sorry for being Off-topic

Old Real Balushi Says:

Duhhhh! what the fu ck!

14 March, 2006 15:04  
Blogger Balushi said...


a gay men was arrested sometime back but he denied being a gay and having sex with another men!

So the Judge ordered an Egg to be put in his back; If the Egg enters without breaking!! Then it means he is Gay.

Can anyone enlighten me...

New Fake Balushi Says:

Sorry sorry for being Off-topic

Old Real Balushi Says:

Duhhhh! what the fu ck!

14 March, 2006 15:06  
Blogger Keef said...

SD: Safari is the current web-designer's nightmare! I presume you're using a Mac - if so get Firefox so you can see what the rest of the world sees! (Ooh, was that philosophical?)

Beep beep.

14 March, 2006 15:10  
Blogger Harsha said...

Balushi is appointed for the task of entering the egg.

what if he isnt gay, and the egg DID break there... icky

14 March, 2006 15:15  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I presume you're using a Mac - if so get Firefox

Yep - and it unfortunately for the purposes of this testing works flawlessly on Firefox OSX as well.

If anyone wants to check the coding, do feel free. Could it be font size that is an issue?

Screenshots also very welcome - [my username here] at Gmail.

14 March, 2006 15:32  
Blogger fruitcake said...

what if......ostrich egg ??

14 March, 2006 15:40  
Blogger Minkey Chief said...

I've spent five minutes trying to understand whether:

1)Harsha hasn't understood anything that's going on here
2) has understood and is making jokes on a plane so rarified that my simple minkey mind is unable to grasp the humour.

I'm still not sure which one... because if it's (1), and she's older than 10, I'm worried for her.

14 March, 2006 15:51  
Blogger CG said...

Be worried. Harsha neither understands satire nor secks.

14 March, 2006 16:07  
Blogger Harsha said...

Oh the attention I get from Minkey and CG!

How come there isnt a single comment on the man falling into the hole?

14 March, 2006 16:13  
Blogger Balushi said...

sorry another off-topic:

Can someone pls tell me how can i put an Avator for myself!!! like that small pictures some bloggers have.

Thank you

14 March, 2006 16:26  
Blogger Harsha said...

Its on your Dashboard, your profile picture.

14 March, 2006 16:29  
Blogger Minkey Chief said...

Harsha, it's called horrified fascination.

14 March, 2006 16:29  
Blogger BreastImplants said...

Too bad you don't like my ID. I think it's charming.

On virginity tests: I dug up some interesting secretdubai posts- some of you might've read this already, but they're still a great read.

Hymen in the Spotlight

Hymen Harassment Part II

14 March, 2006 16:29  
Blogger hannibal said...

did'nt the horn-ny story imply the brit guy fell into a hole?



i'll get my coat then !

14 March, 2006 16:30  
Blogger BreastImplants said...

Eh, dammit:

Hymen harassment, part 2

14 March, 2006 16:36  
Blogger Balushi said...

Harsha my papadum friend! i clicked on my profile picture thanit taking me to another site!!!!

and that site i need to pay to uploading pics to show to other bloggers!!!- i dont wanna shownor see any pics.

all i want is an avator for myself

14 March, 2006 17:16  
Blogger samuraisam said...

what do you want as your avatar balushi?

Providing it is half decent, email it to and i'll chuck it on my server for you.

14 March, 2006 17:18  
Blogger Harsha said...

now why papadum?

14 March, 2006 17:53  
Blogger Balushi said...

harsha you are a Chapathi!!! - i dont know why i even bothered asking you!!

Ok Sam I will do that!!!!

14 March, 2006 18:01  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

Ok...lets not forget that Dubai is an Islamic country..and stop comparing it to UK standards...having sex in public places is illegal..this is not new news...and many by now know the why do it...a parking lot is a public place (tinted glasses or no tinted glasses)..

Second, there is a difference between a broken hymen due to horse riding (uncommon though) or use of tampoon..and broken hymen because of having the exam is reliable (you need to be a doctor to know that)...whether its right to do these examinations or not...I think it is humiliating...

14 March, 2006 18:38  
Blogger advertiser said...

just found some information on virginity tests and hymen on wikipedia:

14 March, 2006 18:39  
Blogger archer14 said...

ok Hot Lemon& Honey, you are perfectly within legal limits if you screw someone in a man-hole..OK? You would also be paid Dhs. 6666 for your creativity too. If you're lucky, you might get a free trip to your country for a short vacation, after which you could return.

14 March, 2006 18:48  
Blogger advertiser said...

Hi SD,

Just started my own blog as well, you are doing a gr8 job keep it up and here's the link to mine

(I am sure it wont be as popular as your's but just a humble effort)


14 March, 2006 18:51  
Blogger Harsha said...

Balushi, if only you spent more time on your blog dashboard than worrying about women, honestly, 'help' DOES help

all the ppl who spent 5 mins, more or less, on trying to understand what i was trying to say. Picture the situation, difficuilt? - try it out if you want (Alone). Firstly, probably the first time for the British couple in a car, else they would have shifted to the passenger seat, CG, when you finish, if it would result in staying on the horn - the act perfomed before finishing (to be precise in that position) would have caused the car to shake waayyy to much for the lawyers son or anyone for that matter to wait for the horn to figure what was goin on in there.

Archer, re read the post

14 March, 2006 19:42  
Blogger Harsha said...

I'd like to apologise to SD b4 hand...

14 March, 2006 19:43  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

I dont see where the attacking is coming from...
I am in Canada to do my post graduate studies...and will return to Dubai once I am done.
Don't be bitter..its just the rules of this country..after all it is an islamic country and having sex in public places is not legal in other countries too...
So just be ready to accept the fact.
And please be mature.

SD there is a problem with your blog..its all squished to the right side of the screen!

14 March, 2006 20:31  
Blogger Minkey Chief said...

Harsha, your explanation took me another five minutes to figure out... are you a writer with Khaleej Times?

And the "popadum" was a bit like Dish Dash - you were identified totally by your culture.

14 March, 2006 20:57  
Blogger Bizarrism said...

Q, What do you get if you take a british couple and a six pack of beer ?

A, A lovely storie about stupid people getting caught

14 March, 2006 21:10  
Blogger archer14 said...

Dammit Hot Lemon& Honey, I apologize for not understanding that you are a member of the 'joke=insult' brigade. Lighten up, without telling me where you are and what you do. How about commenting after you read what I write?

And oh btw, public sex is legal in Canada, OK? So just be ready to accept the fact.
And please be mature, just like Balushi is, who's been trying hard to stuff that ostrich egg up his ass.

14 March, 2006 21:16  
Blogger samuraisam said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

14 March, 2006 21:19  
Blogger archer14 said...

Harsha, you sure have been watching too much CSI I guess. Man, that explanation was like falling in quicksand. Kretin Times needs you quick, you visualise far more than the couple themselves.

14 March, 2006 21:19  
Blogger samuraisam said...

If this kind of behaviour isn't wanted, and let’s face it, it doesn't really count as doing it in public since they were hidden away and the pesky woman screwed up, literally and metaphorically speaking, then why allow alcohol in the first place?
People do it like they do on the discovery channel. A part of life. Whether you want to believe it or not, marriage out of wedlock happens in every country, even those that threaten to kill/injure you if you are found out.
I could understand a hefty fine (10-20,000 dhs), I could understand the evening in jail, and probation or something similar;
But to completely destroy the hopes and dreams of two expat people living in a country that is trying to promote tourism and trying to improve it’s international image because they got a bit frisky in a car? Deport them? Jail them for however long?
I could understand if this happened in any of the other 6 emirates, but Dubai? The place where in some areas you can't walk for 5 minutes WITHOUT BEING solicited by a suspicious woman?
I could seriously understand them being fined and jailed for a short time, but to completely screw up the lives of two people?
I'd say if that is the attitude better to get rid of bars and alcohol, don't give people the wrong impression in the first place; while you’re at it, ban all western movies too, because last time I checked they were still airing movies that showed people getting drunk and jiggy-with-it.

PS: I posted this to, read the opinions of some other people, notably “You can get DEPORTED for that?

14 March, 2006 21:29  
Blogger CG said...

My brain is sucked
My body aches
Harsha is a sponge
her brain never wakes

She does not know the meaning
of coming on the ceiling
and think cars will sway
when having your way

Give me the strength
to teach her in length
the part about the hole
which was his ultimate goal.


14 March, 2006 21:47  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

sam you are just blowing it out of propotion..
Why should having sex in public made legal? there are other choices and they are available...hotel rooms are available and many are affordable.
Are you saying if Sex in public is banned that the country will be "backward"??
Here in Canada..they always tell our guys "uae guys" .."if you do anything against the law we will deport you"..a threat that we are used to hearing at the airport..
How civil is that when these guys havnt even done anything yet..other than stating "no we dont have any criminal records up to this date"..
Threat to deport is unfortunatly not unique to the UAE.

14 March, 2006 22:15  
Blogger Jebel Ali Clooober said...

Is there any relationship between this story and the story on the same page in the Housing and Property section, "Residents get a bumpy ride in new developments"?

14 March, 2006 22:18  
Blogger samuraisam said...

I could seriously understand them being fined and jailed for a short time, but to completely screw up the lives of two people?

I never said it should be made legal. All i'm saying is that the reaction given for this in a country that permits bars etc is kind of misguiding.

My comment about it "not being expected" was in relation to the punishment that was given.

14 March, 2006 22:23  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

I think I get your point...but drinking is not the same as having sex in a public place...cause having sex in a public place is offensive to others...its a private thing that should be done in a private place...drinking has its place too...
So I guess its two different things..
its not like they are saying "sex is illegal"...if that was said..I would agree that they should add "drinking is illegal" so people would not be misguided...
If they can stop dogs shagging on the road..I would appreciate that too... LOL

14 March, 2006 22:33  
Blogger samuraisam said...

A lawyer's son heard the horn around 3.15am and on investigating, discovered the couple. His father called police, who arrested the British man, 36, and the woman, 30 from Jumeirah.

It never actually states where the car was located;
3:15 AM hardly classifies as 'public', the middle of the dark ffs.
It could've even been in their own parking space, or on the side of an empty road at 3:15 AM, I could understand if they did it on the side of SZR at 12 noon like some other people tried recently, but at least tell us where it was ffs.

14 March, 2006 22:42  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

lol sam.
I guess a public place is public whatever time it was..and since they were caught, its not so private anymore.
I just think people should be more thoughtful..what makes people different from the ability to control their instincts..
I just can't imagine how embarrasing it was for those couples LOL

14 March, 2006 22:48  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

"And the "popadum" was a bit like Dish Dash - you were identified totally by your culture."
Too bad Balushi had to resort to that kind of language..
Sorry Harsha..he is just ignorant (im sure you know that already reading his lovely post)

14 March, 2006 22:50  
Blogger samuraisam said...

I feel sorry for the lawyers son, Couldn't he have just tapped on the window and told them to fk off? rather than tell daddy and call the police?

Sex isn't exactly an instinct that everyone wants to control.

14 March, 2006 22:53  
Blogger Harsha said...

Lawyers son was probably jealous, i can imagine him running to daady 'daddy daddy,i want that too!'

Tip for cg on how to spend more time in her car : go to the following places post 9:00 pm

sufou beach, the beach at the end of marina - shared with shereton and the beach jus b4 the private beach adjacent to burj al arab and opposite emirates hospital

either of the places, turn off ur engine n sit in ur car quietly, look around, with the amount of cars 'swaying' u'd feel like ur experiancing an earthquake.

*Minkey's 5 minute brain-timer goes off*

14 March, 2006 23:03  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

I agree Sam..that sex is not the instinct human beings have a good control on.. everybody knows what happens to horny people in the car...

14 March, 2006 23:13  
Blogger Jayne said...

I wonder if the kid (?) had a five finger shuffle before he called his dad................little perv was obviously spying. I think deportation is a bit harsh - a fine & slap on the wrist should've sufficed hey?

14 March, 2006 23:35  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Lawyers son was probably jealous, i can imagine him running to daady 'daddy daddy,i want that too!'

Harsha - that's exactly what I thought!

14 March, 2006 23:41  
Blogger John B. Chilton said... (1958945) If one could face jail time for having sex in a car, one should keep one's ass off the horn

And another thing. Is it just a coincidence that the word verfication for leaving this comment is "kucsuck"? I think not. Or did they word verfication not consider the possibility you might occasionally ask people to enter rude word?

14 March, 2006 23:47  
Blogger BreastImplants said...

I was asked to enter "jusikont" couple of days ago.
I refreshed the page; it upset my indian sensibilities.

15 March, 2006 00:18  
Blogger al-republican said...

OK, I was reading these posts and had no idea what or how to contribute to this. But, I came across a good article on and I thought I'd share it with you all. The English cricket team is in India these days playing a 3-test match series. An incident transpired in the stadium that might interest everybody:

Kit off is not on

Posted by Paul Coupar 4 days, 18 hours ago in England in India, 2005-06

The front page of today’s local section in the Hindustan Times shows a sneering blonde English ladette giving the cameraman the bird.

This follows a minor kerfuffle yesterday when, in one of the few moments of sunshine, English girls in the stands stripped off to bikini tops. “English fans were a major draw for the crowd” , said the piece. And you felt they weren’t talking about the Barmy Army beer guts.

Greeted by whistles and unwanted attention, the visitors soon covered up again. This sort of thing is not done by respectable Indians. Despite that, the piece was still accompanied by a particularly large photo of one of the offenders.

The visitors should have known better. In India kit off is not on. But the incident and the following report seemed a curious parable, an example of modern India’s relations with the west: half drawn in, half repulsed.

This is in a country that is the largest democracy in the World and claims to be the most secular with 2 leading statesmen (President and Prime Minister) being from minority communities (something the West has yet not been able to achieve).

If you are thinking what the point is here, well, I am just trying to highlight the different lifestyles of the Westerners vs. Eaterners. I think people should understand the complexities of living in an "alien" culture and try to adapt to it rather than trying to change it to suit their whims. Although, when I say this, I say it tongue-in-cheek because I know that in places like India, people are rapidly adopting the Western lifestyle.

For the whole article you can go here:

15 March, 2006 09:29  
Blogger the shadow said...

I think that the main difference between East and West when it comes to hot and dirty luuuurve is merely the associated level of denial.

15 March, 2006 11:41  
Blogger al-republican said...

the shadow:

It's not about denial - after all, the East hosts countries with the highest populations!

People in the East generally dont make a public display of their love for their partners. Mind you, the West subscribed to this opinion, too, until everyone got "liberated".

It is absolutely crazy that some countries allow public nudity and sexual acts! This is surely not about being "liberal" (that term actually rooted from economic opportunities). I would rather say that it is the moral bankruptcy of certain societies. Also, this is not exclusively a Western phenomenon. There are many countries in the East that are undergoing this moral bankruptcy (dare I say, Dubai is treading that path, too).

Sadly, moral bankruptcy has become synonymous to progress and "enlightenment"! This dismal reality is the raison d'etre behind strict laws of "prevention of vice and promotion of virtue" (amr bil ma'roof wan-nahi anil-munkar) in Islamic Sharee'ah that I alluded to in a previous thread of SD.

15 March, 2006 12:12  
Blogger qadi said...

I'd say it's a squandering of national resources: nubile women should be satisfying me, not teasing crowds.

17 March, 2006 00:31  

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