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02 April, 2006

Lettersby Avenue

In a sandy land where Viz and its superb Letterbocks are banned, many expats have come to rely on 7Days' letters pages for their epistolary titlliation. With the varied antics of "Maria Metcalf" and Penny Francis, who can blame them?

But the forum-par-excellence of Bizarre and Angry Quills continues to be Time Out Dubai, easily worth five dirhams for its letters page alone (or nick your copy for free from one of Dubai's many hotels - the lobby of the Novotel is always a likely bet). This week, Vincent Stevens criticises the decision to put Nancy Ajram on the cover:

"...the round-faced woman is typical of the genre - Arabic pop music is nothing more than a bunch of "habibi"-warbling egomaniacs broadcasting their embarrassing clich├ęs over a dirty cacophony of mangled noise pollution."

And "A concerned mother" is horrified by "gratuitous use of the devil hands gesture" in a feature on the Desert Rock festival:

"For too long we have let our children be corrupted by the alienating power of what is known as "rock" music and the devil horn gesture proves without doubt that both rock music and the devil are in league with each other. This kind of worshipping of the occult will only lead our children down a very dark path and I for one will not allow any of my six children to read your magazine until I have an assurance, in writing, that you will stop this practice."

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Blogger Doc said...

Arabic pop music is nothing more than a bunch of "habibi"-warbling egomaniacs

*snort* *chuckle* Heh.

Now that was funny.

02 April, 2006 02:39  
Blogger soultalk said...

Hmmmmm... having 6 children in this day and age??

Lady you are so far down the dark path already...

02 April, 2006 07:25  
Blogger Smokey Mirror said...

The lady is right y'know. I listened to "rock" music a lot when I was younger. Now, I'm all in league with the devil and stuff.

I can't help it. I steal things. I burn things. And every so often, God help me, I kill things.

If only I had known. If. Only.

02 April, 2006 09:45  
Blogger Anon said...

Strangely enough, I get Viz delivered every other month - in see thru plastic too!

This country never ceases to amaze me.

02 April, 2006 10:08  
Blogger archer14 said...

So yalla habibi music is better than rock music and the devils gesture. The fine line is rap music. Not too harsh, not too habibi either. Just telling your girl to do the nasty in a gazillion different ways. (just a li'l bit)

When Robbie comes he should start Rock DJing out on stage in a black thong.

But seriously the funniest part was "dark path and I for one will not allow any of my six children to read your magazine"

1,2 buckle your shoe. 3,4...I guess thats her favorite song. Time to habibi-ise it for some cash.

Smokey Mirror, I suggest you listen to the delicate songs of Snoop Dogg and 50 cent. You'll only have one vice! LOL

02 April, 2006 11:53  
Blogger al-republican said...

A friend of mine in the States wrote a good article in his blogs about rap/hip-hop music. I think you guys will like this!


I hope this works!

02 April, 2006 12:58  
Blogger luckyfatima said...

haaaaa haaaaa haaaa flippin' hilarious!

02 April, 2006 13:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't even know how to comment on this one. "both rock music and the devil are in league with each other" eh... right. I don't even know how people come up with this crap. Music must be so evil, huh? Well, rock on!

02 April, 2006 13:05  
Blogger Earthbound Misfit said...

I smell a witchhunt coming along....

Buuurrn the Witches!!!

Blinging Dubai

02 April, 2006 13:07  
Blogger SIN said...

Oh for the love of god...! What is that hag on abt. If she was so bothered abt the corruption of her young kids, then maybe she should take a closer look at the internet portals her children (all six of them) probably frequent, which have a higher chance of putting filth in their nubile minds than rock music!

Anyways, TimeOut has proved time and again that their letters content is nothing but a figment of their imagination..this may be just another one of thier made-up lala tales

02 April, 2006 13:40  
Blogger hannibal said...

Tim-Out, Ahhlin , KO and all those other rags are just pure utter rubbish. glossy photographs , complete nonentities as celebrities/socialites and hyped up stories and reviews which makes anyone with a reasonable intelligence level cringe !

Apparently the editors of these rags think the Dubai public is quite gullible... sad to say, apparently they are right !

02 April, 2006 14:56  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

*Clap, clap, clap* I'm with hannibal on this one. lol

02 April, 2006 17:05  
Blogger Samawel said...

hehehe... Yep, and I had a buggery-filled date with the devil!

"Modern" people in this "modern" city, in this "modern" day, are quite clueless to reality, aren't they? :)

Surprising how this devil's boyfriend also loves to listen to Fayruz in Arabic (not the Haifa Wahbi-clones)

02 April, 2006 17:33  
Blogger Matthew said...

Hannibal, Tainted Female - I've never seen Time Out publish a photo of a non-entity. I think you're confusing it was What's On.

03 April, 2006 08:58  
Blogger nada_a said...

"rock music and the devil are in league with each other"

HAHAHAHA. That's one of the funniest things I've heard all week.

Thanks, hehe, I needed that. :p

03 April, 2006 20:31  
Blogger the shadow said...

Err...hold on...isn't "habibi" basically just the arabic pop equivalent of "baby" in western pop?

People should at least be fair and admit that both suck nuts.

I wonder who would turn out to be the bigger freak...someone raised exclusively on Slayer, WHite Zombie and Marilyn Manson or someone raised entirely entirely on Jessica Simpson, Blue and the Backstreet Boys?

I know for sure which would be more likely to be homosexual :D

04 April, 2006 00:02  
Blogger haji-o-matic said...

In the US we have known rock music and the devil are one and the same since ELVIS!!

If you play your CD's backwards you can hear the devil's voice...

06 April, 2006 17:15  
Blogger Wolfwood said...

and this is what the devil would say:
"If you can hear this, you've got way too much free time. The religious zealots are doing a great job by themselves of making me look good in comparison."

08 April, 2006 13:36  

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