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13 June, 2006

Cream of criminal cretinry

7Days has compiled a very useful guide to Dubai's dumbest crooks. Remember not to try these excuses next time you murder someone or try to import a kilo of Colombian, as they've all been tried, tested and laughed out of court. They include:

- a woman who thought 4kg of heroin was "a box of chocolates"
- a photographer who "left his camera on by accident" in the changing room
- a man who mistook an E for a panadol
- a flasher whose "wet" clothes "fell down" in front of a six year old
- a man "just resting his feet" in a brothel

and a couple of other shining examples of Dubai's criminal cretinry.

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Blogger sand in the vaseline said...

The guy with the E instead of panadol worked for us... He was a party kind of guy and I'm sure took it knowingly.

4 years for 1 pill is extreme but the law.

How did the police know to blood test hm the next day... set up?

I also put expats who drink and drive in this category - you wouldn't think of it in your home country however you do it much worse here where the penalities can be some much worse... weird..

13 June, 2006 07:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm curious about the it correct then that one can be a drug dealer with impudence in this country, as long as you inform on your customers?

13 June, 2006 09:55  
Blogger Taunted said...

I blogged this SD too, the crazy excuses and camel shagging that goes on here - the world shoul know!

13 June, 2006 11:55  
Blogger gone2352352352345634 said...

Having had the pleasure of being pulled over by Dubai Bolice for a DUI, I can prove that all laws in the UAE, (at least in Dubai), are optional. All I got was a ,"Is your friend ok to drive?". So you can be a dumb criminal in SandLand, but the consequences depend on what you look like, what you drive and who you work for.

Moving on, we need to have a poll somewhere to figure out the following ->

Is 7 Days a
(a) Newspaper
(b) Someones blog-printed-on-paper
(c) Ad revenue supported peice of S#$%&
(d) Ad revenue supported toilet paper backup

13 June, 2006 11:56  
Blogger SIN said...

I vote for options B, C and D :)

13 June, 2006 12:42  
Blogger Taunted said...

I think it's something along the lines of Viz ( withe real(ish) people.

13 June, 2006 14:28  
Blogger SIN said...

Click310...saw your videos...bloody brilliant :) And abt time someone did them too

13 June, 2006 16:37  
Blogger gone2352352352345634 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

13 June, 2006 17:32  
Blogger gone2352352352345634 said...

While we are on topic of crime, petty or not...

Came across this little gem on GN. Now, how about naming and shaming all the morons on the roads, not just the low paid drivers. Am not implying that this is a bad idea, in fact I support it. But lets not discriminate against the well-heeled morons. Lets not deprive them of their 15 min's of fame.

A person in a car can just as easily cause death or injury to others as the person in a big truck. The human body is fragile at best, and it does not take a lot to damage it.

just my two cents...but shame away traffic department.

Note: In the future please refrain from publishing pix of drivers who looked stoned.

13 June, 2006 17:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i always say "I dont know"

13 June, 2006 18:19  
Blogger Minkey Chief said...

I can already see the ennui-struck rich purposely jumping red lights to get their mugs in the paper.

Like the speed-camera flashers.

13 June, 2006 19:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

have you ever met some of the male brit "journalists" that work for 7 days?

talk about soul selling, brown nosing, freebe asking, we-know-your-boss, shameless bunch of pricks.

anyone who interacts with them knows who im talking about :)

13 June, 2006 21:23  
Blogger gone2352352352345634 said...

Comeon Anonymous @ 21:23 post some numbers and email addresses here, all,(most), of us want to express our gratitude to these outstanding temporary-workers,(As all the brown-nosing will not change the fact that they will get kicked out one day).

13 June, 2006 22:42  
Blogger Insipid Chagrin said...

Oh! 7 days!

Not only are most of their features rip-offs of Guardian columns, but their letter page reads like an ode to cats.
Cats, kittens, kitty cats, brown, white furry, up for adoption, in the soup, with an airgun pellet as side entree, missing in action, lost to us all etc, etc - and if you don't like it "go back where you came from"

And i don't know who edits the letters section, but shouldn't a basic requirement be that those that write in at least be coherent?? And maybe not blatantly slag? Am i asking to much? Where IS the sanity? Ahh, Cats...cats on the brain.

14 June, 2006 15:21  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohh what an INTERESTING topic to blog ABOUT! you guys are sick and lame and sad!!!

Why do always point out the negative side of Dubai?!

SECRET DUBAI WHATEVER you call yourself, your not worthy to even have "dubai" in your nickname!!! OH it's a nickname since your scared to come out of the small closet of yours! Hiding behind a nickname. Showing your muscles in the cyberworld!?!?
Why don't you investigate stories yourself instead of relaying on the MEDIA?!
ooh noo you might be to busy.. TRYING TO RULE DUBAI ooh no you cannot do that, your in the MIDDLE EAST.. OH no I remember your too busy making fun of everything?!!!?!!!!!!

If you really want to make a difference in ANY topics your sad blog raised you should come up with suggestions and hands them to people who are incharge!!! wouldn't that be more EFFECTIVE.

You probably have no life, to share and talk about, this is why you think you will get your fame here in the internet..Hiding behind a nickmame, backlashing Dubai, the government, our telecommunication, laws, culture and tradition!! GO BACK HOME AS SIMPLE AS THAT!!

15 June, 2006 01:35  
Blogger Insipid Chagrin said...

Ohh what an INTERESTING topic to blog ABOUT! you guys are sick and lame and sad!!!
Why do always point out the negative side of Dubai?!

Acutally, dahling, I think you're doing a far better job of dissing Dubai by splattering the blog with your incoherent abrasive bile than SD or any one of us scribes.

I know that they don't want memorization in the curriculum any more, but I''m making an exception in your case. So, dxbyeh, repeat after me:

People are allowed different points of view
People are allowed different points of view
People are allowed different points of view

Oh, and also,

I will not be a myopic vegetable
I will not be a myopic vegetable
I will not be a myopic vegetable

So, once we've learnt these, we'll procceed. Always a pleasure

15 June, 2006 09:19  
Blogger gone2352352352345634 said...

dxByeH said... 15 June, 2006 01:35


err dxbByeH ungrateful would imply that we owe you gratitude, last time I checked most of the people who posted here were pretty well off and are working in your country for the betterment of your country. Not that you owe us any gratitude. Most of the people working in your country are doing so in exchange for monetary remuneration. Therefore neither you nor them owe each other anything apart from common human decency and respect. Call people ungrateful, when you do something charitable and the people are ungrateful.

I would suggest that you take Insipid Chagrins advice and stop being a myopic vegetable.

15 June, 2006 10:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dxbyeh, I think my fellow scribes have given you some sound advice. There is nothing that a waorking expat needs to grateful about. He gets paid for his work. period. And BTW locals like you would have been shitting in the sand if it was not for the discovery of OIL. So get off your high horse.

16 June, 2006 17:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

insipid chagfuck , "nice" reply

f u

18 July, 2006 00:01  

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