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18 August, 2006

Cinderella of the sands

Spinster schoolmarm Margery, her lilywhite skin bronzed to a glowing nut-brown by the sandlands sun, has hit on a new scheme to bag herself an oil sheikh.

After sunning herself for a few hours at the swimming pool, she casts off a broken flip-flop at the stroke of noon, and begins to hobble her way back to Cell Block G. The plan has two brilliant prongs. First, a passing sheikhmobile crammed with oil-rich emirs may offer to escort the limping beauty home.

Secondly, an oleaginous admirer may discover the lost slipper and Prince Charming his way to her door.

Part one meets with rather limited success. A kind sheikh does stop; unfortunately accompanied by his wives, servants and numerous children. Part two has yet to transpire. Somewhere in the darkening gardens around Cell Block G, the sandal of a beautiful English schoolmarm languishes in the bushes, waiting for a petrol-prince to seek the dainty foot it fits.

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7 Comments:

Blogger i, Bobo said...

"oleaginous?"

3 graduate degrees and I still had to look it up...

Good word!

19 August, 2006 12:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Associated Press Dispatch
"Local authorities in Dubai reported that three wealthy Oil Sheiks have died in a stampede to locate an invaluable piece of footwear. The endless queue of Hummers, Land Cruisers and Porches have blocked all access to Ibn Batuta Mall while canvassing the Gardens area for the promised flip-flop.

Around one particular area close to a swimming pool, the sight of pink plastic object has sparked a melee which led to grown middle aged men exchanging blows and stepping over each other to try to grasp the promised slippers. Alas, it turned out to be a discarded "I am a Trolley Dolly" cap. Three innocent Sheiks with pockets full of Bulgari gifts were killed when the crowed surged in pursuit of the elusive flip-flop.

It is also rumoured that there was another stampede at the garbage dump used by Nakheel, which led to three broken legs, one broken jaw, and a few hundred stinky Sheiks in curry contaminated no-longer-white robes.

Authorities are attributing the whole chaos to the failure of Etisalat to block objectionable site slandering the tranquil life in the Emirate, which apparently advised its readers that whoever finds the flip-flop, will bag an English princess"
End Dispatch

19 August, 2006 12:54  
Anonymous Bill O'Reilly said...

Anonymous said @ 19 August, 2006 12:54


How dare you poke fun at the "Sheiks" !!!

Just kidding , poke away ...

19 August, 2006 13:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Call me dumb or maybe am confused but i didnt get it?!

Did something similar happen at the gardens?

19 August, 2006 17:09  
Anonymous morris brown said...

lol... here is something funny as hell..

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/141789/post_9_11_blues/

19 August, 2006 17:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GOOD NEWS!!!

ETISALAT have now BLOCKED metacafe!!!

I wonder whats next??? hmmmmm

19 August, 2006 20:25  
Blogger dontfearfreedom said...

There is only one type of suitor found lurking in the bushes around Dubai's Luxury hotel pools and it 'aint going to be an oil Sheikh!

If it's attention she is seeking then perhaps exposing herself in the MotE carpark or a late night swim would suffice?

20 August, 2006 12:03  

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