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13 September, 2006

Spiel and spin

The summer is over and we are not saved any longer from the endless deluge of press releases that pours every second into the inboxes of hacks across the sandlands, making one yearn for the more comatose time of Ramadan ahead. To make things easier for the doubtless frantic PR bunnies, beavering 24/7 over their typewriters in a fever of spin, hyperbole and downright mendacity, here is a brand new tool, the UAE Press Release Generator © v1.0:



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely brilliant.

Cap doffed.

13 September, 2006 03:01  
Blogger moryarti said...



13 September, 2006 07:48  
Blogger Grumpy Goat said...

I don't normally employ acronyms such as LMAO or ROFL, but on this occasion I believe their use is justified.

Well done. You have brightened my day.

13 September, 2006 08:00  
Blogger DXBluey said...

Just too funny. In the words of Homer (Simpson not the Greek)

"It's funny 'cos it's true"

13 September, 2006 08:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahaha - brilliant...perhaps you can include "congratulate" and "vision" in there somewhere, too

13 September, 2006 08:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are so fucking funny. Yalla, send me your newsletter. This is too fabulous...

13 September, 2006 08:56  
Blogger Anti-Demon said...

Just too good...keep them comming...

13 September, 2006 09:37  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Hahaha - brilliant...perhaps you can include "congratulate" and "vision" in there somewhere, too

God what an oversight! Fixed (second one at least) ;)

13 September, 2006 09:53  
Blogger DesertNorm said...

Brilliant. Well done. I wonder how long it will be before editors of certain 'newspapers' are offering you a job ?

13 September, 2006 10:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


13 September, 2006 11:03  
Blogger Dubai Media Observer said...

Bah, why you gotta take jabs at the poor unmotivated PR people? Aren't all new products/developments fantastic and revolutionary?

Okay, fine, I admit, I couldn't stop laughing for awhile, people around me started thinking I finally lost my mind :)

This, with Communicate's "the ice that never melts", one has to wonder where the entire media industry is headed. I am terrified of the future ahead!

13 September, 2006 11:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my F#@!ing God.. !! That is so funny..!!

SD, you are such a talent.

I however did notice that the word Authority (that most of the UAE's govt departments) have in their titles..

13 September, 2006 12:46  
Blogger Al Nims Media said...

Fantabulous! Dream come true for PR chappies :)

13 September, 2006 13:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you get the idea from Maddox? His website has a great 'Automatic Tom Clancy Plot Generator' that's very similar. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about; you probably never will. The site's banned here because it makes fun of old people and Christopher Reeves. There's even an article proudly proclaiming that 'The Best Page In The Universe Is Banned In The United Arab Emirates'.

13 September, 2006 13:18  
Blogger hannibal said...

could view it in the morning .. can't now..

Big Brother watching methinks

13 September, 2006 13:58  
Blogger Seabee said...

Brilliant. I've just written every item by-lined "Staff Report' in Gulf News by using your Press Release Generator ;-)

And I've just been ploughing through a press release 'written' by an alleged PR Agency - I think they used your generator too.

13 September, 2006 16:04  
Blogger ReginaFilangee said...

lol, very good and how true?! i knew someone who worked in PR out there. She thought it was rocket science, but then again she was a typically deluded expat!

13 September, 2006 16:37  
Blogger snow white said...

and I presume the following phrases appeared: extremely unique, world-class destination, from a sleepy pearl-fishing village to a glistening metropolis, etc.

Damn, wish you hadn't exposed the secret to my years in the PR business.

13 September, 2006 19:43  
Blogger CG said...

Bloooooody Excellent.

13 September, 2006 19:54  
Blogger archer14 said...

WOW!..I loved the 'Al Shit Trading' option..That was just priceless!!.

Please make a 'Plummetting inflation' report generator as well as 'Feeling Good' report generator.

But you HAVE to make the 'expat woes' letter generator. Its sorely needed, and its a one touch solution for those constipated souls who complain about evil E-vision and lack of channel schedules.

13 September, 2006 22:45  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Classic..well done.

14 September, 2006 02:13  
Blogger One Nine Seven One said...

Easy Secret Dubai...;-)

14 September, 2006 14:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

freaking hilarious!!!!!

BTW, I too work for a PR agency.

14 September, 2006 23:40  
Blogger Woke said...

Let me forward this to my friend in Jiwin. :D

16 September, 2006 13:56  
Blogger Prometheus said...

Prometheus the Software Person would like to suggest upgrades to version 2.3 that has shortcut macros to insert "His Highness, Dr. Sir Sheikh Yada bin Nada al Yada, the Ooga Wooga of Booga and Clunka Thunka of Dunka, in his capacity as Jinga Banga of Tanga".

Those idiotic terms are purposely substituted for actual titles to protect the intellectual property.

Erm.. scratch "intellectual". Also scratch "property", ya don't want prices to skyrocket do yuh?

16 September, 2006 22:39  
Blogger Inspector Jay said...

Unbelieveable. Definately one of the best so far. I just can't stop laughing. You need to work on a book.. maybe even a series of books. Superb stuff!

19 September, 2006 17:47  

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