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12 April, 2007

The litigious palm tree

A palm tree is suing a drunk driver who crashed into it:

Ras Al Khaimah - A palm tree could have its day in court after a drunk-driver crashed into it. Due to the damage sustained to the tree in the collision, the case could now go to the civil court for a damages claim. The Ras Al Khaimah Traffic Court ruled earlier this week that a civil case could be launched by the victim - the palm tree.

How the hell does this work?

Does the tree uproot itself and lumber into court, trailing soil and sand all over the carpets? How does it speak? Does it rustle its leaves in a suggestive way, or does it creak its branches in some arboreal form of Morse code? Or perhaps it summons up a friendly dryad to plead on its behalf?

And what exactly is it going to do with the money it gets? Buy "tree bling" - solid gold tinsel and Swarovski Christmas decorations? Build itself a marble wall to keep out the other trees in its orchard? Hire forty servants to french polish its leaves and push its saplings around the shopping mall?

Or has the RAK calendar only just reached 1st April?

Labels: ,


Blogger Kodanshi said...


…the HELL!?

This trumps even the American tendency to sue at every opportunity!

:flabbergasted emoticon:

12 April, 2007 03:39  
Blogger Locust-Eater said...

You will be pleased to know that you showed up in the 'blogs of note' pane in blogger when I logged in this evening: Congrats!

12 April, 2007 04:39  
Blogger Restless Libra said...

There really is something messed up with that. Is that even possible? How weird.

12 April, 2007 06:13  
Blogger dubaibaggie said...

Have they set a 'date' for the case, or don't they care a fig?

12 April, 2007 08:23  
Blogger anon_mediator said...

The tree asked for it. It was dressed insappropriately.

You have to love RAK!

12 April, 2007 09:32  
Blogger GK said...

Well anything can happen in this part of te world! Now what id like to know is who is represeting the palm tree!

12 April, 2007 10:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SD: You evidently have no idea at all what to post about. You will surely incur the wrath of the self-imposed "blessing" which will now troop into the midst of this "tragedy" that you have created.

BTW, I believe he will be representing the palm tree.

12 April, 2007 10:43  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just when I thought I'd seen my share of stupidity for today. Trust the Emiratis to try and top it.

12 April, 2007 11:26  
Blogger One Nine Seven One said...

Its Ras Al Khaimah.

What other explanation do you need?

12 April, 2007 11:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This will set a precedence for Mr Lamp Post, Mr Crash Barrier and Mr Traffic Lights to proceed with their claims!!!

12 April, 2007 12:38  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

loll love the tree creaking morse code analogy! Well my first thought was April fools but we're well passed that.

I reckon it's good people are caring about nature and the environment and all but...well...this is mad?

12 April, 2007 12:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So the government is suing the driver... what's so unusual about that? He caused damage to public property.

He was drunk, and had no license. Things could have been much worse.

12 April, 2007 14:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does this mean that the Persian / Arabian Gulf can now sue the Government of Dubai for polluting its space with those hideous islands?

12 April, 2007 14:29  
Blogger Harsha said...

Good question anon @ 14.29

wierd.. as humans we dont have any consumer rights and cant sue anyone here but atleast the trees can

12 April, 2007 16:47  
Blogger Harsha said...

Also, on discussing this with others, i got some interesting comments.

Firstly, if the palm islands go down in the next 20-30 years, ppl living on them will be asked to sue 'the island' and not the developers (given that natural islands have started diminishing, these are yet artificial)

secondly, the tree's in dubai should get blood money for cutting down their brother's or family members

12 April, 2007 16:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Years ago in Abu Dhabi this was one of those mythical stories all newcomers were introduced to.
The logic being the palms were very precious in such an alien environment.
No doubt there will be case law to support the palm.

12 April, 2007 17:45  
Blogger Unknown said...

OMGWTFLOL! It's gotta be the UAE's case of the year. So daaamn funny.

Anyway, congratulations SecretDubai! You're on Blogger's "Blogs of Note"

More power to ya!

12 April, 2007 19:23  
Blogger domenico said...

To be or not to be, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep
No more, and by a sleep to say we end,
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished.

12 April, 2007 20:30  
Blogger Marilyn Braun said...

What does it do with its money? The lawyer takes it! ;)

12 April, 2007 21:47  
Blogger Jassim said...

"And what exactly is it going to do with the money it gets? Buy "tree bling"

Where in the article did the it say the tree was from Satwa?

13 April, 2007 00:51  
Blogger High Power Rocketry said...

Great blog :)


13 April, 2007 04:11  
Blogger Champion Kickah said...

What about the pavement and the road? Surely they need compensation too because of the trauma involved. How does that work? Does the pavement sue the driver? What about the poor car? Can the car counter-sue the tree?

13 April, 2007 07:04  
Blogger John B. Chilton said...

You're barking up the wrong tree. The palm tree will run rings around the drunk driver and win hands down.

13 April, 2007 13:48  
Blogger jm said...

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13 April, 2007 14:02  
Blogger DarthJordius said...

Yes, very nice blog indeed. Couldn't deer now sue drivers who run into them now? Where will it ever end?! Like R2K aid: Can the pavement sue drivers for running over it? That is even worse than here in America.

13 April, 2007 15:55  
Blogger DarthJordius said...

Oh, I guess it wasn't R2K.

13 April, 2007 15:56  
Blogger Abez said...

Haha, I would say 'only in Dubai,' but I wasn't expecting that from RAK. A friend of a friend clipped a Dubai trash bin- it cost him a few thousand dirhams. I tell you, here in Dubai, even the garbage is expensive!

13 April, 2007 16:50  
Blogger Carly said...

thank heavens the civil rights of palm trees are being respected. for too long they've been overlooked. if you know any palm tree that has been critically injured due to someone else's negligence, i would be happy to represent them in a court of law.

13 April, 2007 17:51  
Blogger jummy bear said...

is any one managing the uae comm anymore??? i just got the shocker of my life.

14 April, 2007 01:25  
Blogger Rurrik said...

I have gathered lots of pictures from various sources of the mass protests that have taken place in Moscow this past Saturday (and tomorrow in St.Petersburg). Please visit my site!

14 April, 2007 18:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since you have selected to moderate all comments (the option for the ones not so brave), I guess you will be the only one to read this.
The news you have mentioned is an example of the Arab intelligence and reason. I didn't know it goes all the way up to the authorities. But what else could be expected!

15 April, 2007 15:36  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Since you have selected to moderate all comments (the option for the ones not so brave), I guess you will be the only one to read this.

I guess not.

The reason I moderate my comments is because some time back I had people deliberately trying to get my blog blocked/me arrested by posting obscenities about royal people and their wives. I don't consider it worth going to the line for something like that. For my own freedom of speech, yes. But not for someone else's trolling.

And before you drop into someone else's blog and start throwing accusations of cowardice around, you might want to consider commenting under your real name, or at least a consistent nickname. "anonymous" hardly suggests steel cojones, does it?

15 April, 2007 16:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey secret you shouldnt have to justify your top blog to anyone, especially anon. Your blog, your call. We only came by to post a comment about the palm tree and make jokes about getting to the 'root' of the problem or make a 'trunk' call. We'll link to you from our blog now and mention your palm story. Great stuff.

15 April, 2007 22:49  
Blogger KC said...

With that I have to say the Enviromental Freaks have landed on your side of the world now...........

I thought this was tongue in cheek ( funny) at first, but ..

15 April, 2007 23:07  
Blogger S. said...

I can see it now, a palm tree going to be countersued by the plaintiff, that it did not cover itself properly, and that its trunk and dates caused trauma to the driver, so much so that he HAD to run his car into it..


RAK, seems to be the black sheep ("emirate..?") of the UAE family. First you have family incest going unpunished, and now this.. I guess the judges in the RAK courtrooms dont really have much else to do..

16 April, 2007 12:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHAT?? Of course there are trees that talk!!

They're called Ents! ;-)

17 April, 2007 19:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its seems that SD manipulated the story to make it funny and to entertain some small minds here. Well, SD u were very successful in that, Congrates ! ! !

23 May, 2007 16:43  

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