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07 November, 2007

Family planning

The wife of an associate was somewhat disconcerted when her building watchman asked her for advice on when he should take a holiday:

"I wish to take two weeks and my wife's blood finishes on the 17th, when should I leave?"

She referred him to her husband, who was just as embarrassed.

But hundreds of thousands of workers in the UAE face such a dilemma. Getting leave every two years (or less) can make it very difficult to have a family if one fails to win the title on the home run, so to speak.

Balu, a thirty-something Keralite driver, was one of the lucky ones. Within one year his family found him a bride, he flew back to Thiruvananthapuram, married her and struck it lucky on his honeymoon, receiving photographic confirmation of his achievement nine months later.

Balu, like hundreds of thousands of other "bachelor" fathers in the UAE, will grow up rarely ever seeing his child. There are plenty of separated mothers too: thousands upon thousands of low-paid female domestic workers who have children back in Bangladesh or the Philippines or India, being brought up by sisters and mothers and grandparents.

How do children in Asia view their distant parents? Do they come to regard them more as uncles and aunts, or are they able to keep parental bonds strong despite the prohibitive costs of communications and travel to the UAE?

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28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since when did a POS infidel care ?

You'd double cross them for a dog.

07 November, 2007 14:03  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You would think that the amount these M.E people go on and on about the importance of family, they would try to help out the poorer lot - by helping them visit family, or family visit them more often.

But, I guess what they mean is that their families are more important than dirty subcon's and infidel's.

Hypocritical, intolerant, violent, barbarian, scum, there people are.

-RB

07 November, 2007 14:27  
Blogger ammaro.com said...

This crosses my mind a lot. It's a very sad situation.

I see the internet-phone shops fill up these days, offering cheap calls to India, Bangladesh and so on. A good way for them to communicate, and althout half saddened by the truth of their life, it's a small relief to know that they can actually stay in touch with their family.

*sigh.

07 November, 2007 14:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is this man. Western, western rubbish. The west is rubbish, the west is shit ole ole ole ole, oleh oleh.

I cant believe this inferior western things. All going to Hell. All of it. If its western, its going to hell, if its not western it stands a chance. Ole ole ole ole, oleh oleh.

Just my parting shot, Western is rubbish. I am willing to debate anyone who dis agress. Ok before I leave. Western is rubbish.

07 November, 2007 15:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

كس أم الغرب والكفار معاهم

07 November, 2007 16:10  
Anonymous Wacky said...

Reality is - its nobody's fault, and one has to decide whether you need family life or affordable life, to survive the social order. Its a sacrifice, one has to give for affection and emotional attachment towards family. In Asian culture, one has to take care of their respective parents, sisters and brothers and their kids, if he is working abroad, thus leaving very little for him and his family. Its a sensitive topic with married batchelors, and many suffer humiliation, whilst COMING HOME !!

07 November, 2007 18:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While its a sacrifice that poor people have to make, the least UAE could have done was offer them cheap phone calls. But alas, internet phone calls are illegal and calling cheaply is seen as a serious crime.

And news reports have the same tone when reporting a raid on drug traffickers and a raid on internet phone centers

07 November, 2007 18:16  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One might also have questions about how children here regard their distant parents--that is, those leaving their parenting duties up to the hired help. As a working mother, I definitely see the need for paid caregivers, but when you get home from work, it's time to be an active, involved parent. No matter how loving a caregiver may be, they should not be a substitute for the parent.

When I take my child to the nearby playground, I often see children as young as three there with no supervision whatsoever. I cannot imagine taking that chance. I wonder what these parents are thinking...

07 November, 2007 22:58  
Anonymous Anglo-Hindu said...

Balu's kid will grow up fatherless, penniless, facing stiff competition for a piece of bread from millions of other fatherless, penniless kids in India just like him. His best chance is to take over another westerner's job in some outsourced call center in Mumbai if the old man coughs the money for IT education.

( Of course, being from a low Kerala caste it remains to be seen if the Mumbai crowd will even let the poor dark-skinned fella into the fair-skinned circle. Maybe the skin bleach that Shahruhkhan is advertising could help? )

In all probability, Balu's kid will try a local gig collecting coconuts for a few years until boredom, absense of money or respect, and a yonger brother's competition in the game will make him decide to follow in his father's footsteps and get a job as a watchman/driver in foreign city like Dubai, where he will get married to someone he has never met; continuing the unstoppable birth cycle of 'bang-em-out-once-a-year' and further contribute to India's massive overpopulation problem.

That's, of course, if the driver/watchman gig works out, since working at construction under 50 degree heat in some foreign country after being sold 'wholesale' by some fellow countryman is the only option failing a life in a cardboard box on the streets of Calcutta.

Of course it doesn't end there.

India's massive overpopulation problem that Balu's repressed hormones are creating ( one lay a year is no joke ) coupled with Western world's constantly expanding immigration program due to continually falling birthrate ( go gay pride! ) and number of qualified professionals ( everyone's in Dubai doing the managerial gig, even the truckdrivers. wait..*especially* the truckdrivers. ) will result in a massive ethno-cultural shift that assimilation process will simply not be able to digest at such a rate.

It means Balu's grandkid will probably marry your grandkid, so get ready to eat curry on the wedding, your future is Russel Simmons.

Sounds bleak. ( or Brown? Sorry ).

Of course, you could always reverse your falling birthrate and remain a dominant ethnic group on your continent. Under Sharia law. Islamic norms such as multiple wives, prosecution of homosexuality and a little more respect for the institution of marriage could do wonders for that birthrate. Prepare to rename your capital to Londonistan however, as it is already only *half* jokingly referred as.

Think fast, because Balu's next vacation is only a year away...and the absense of any financial family planning or conscience on his part is going to affect your life more than any law in Dubai ever will....tick-tock, tick-tock...

Anglo-Hindu

08 November, 2007 01:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

illegals SUCK!


Dubai: A man is standing trial for setting a minibus ablaze in a suicide attempt. But the man jumped out of the bus because he could not stand the heat.

The 25-year-old Afghan suspect, G.M., asked his 36-year-old Pakistani manager to give him a Dh10,000 loan, but when the manager refused he grew angry and tried to kill himself by setting the minibus on fire, according to records.

The Public Prosecution charged the Afghan with attempted suicide, wrecking the minibus and beating the manager, M.M.

He was also charged with threatening to kill his 32-year-old compatriot worker, G.K., besides M.M., if they didn't drive him to Al Aweer.

G.M. was additionally charged with illegally staying in the country and stealing M.M.'s phone, wallet and Dh5,000 and G.K.'s mobile.

"I poured petrol on the seats of the minibus because I intended to burn it and end my life," the suspect was quoted saying in his public prosecution statement.

The manager testified: "When we were in the minibus, the suspect beat me with a stick twice because I couldn't lend him Dh10,000 to settle his fin-ancial situation.

"He threatened to kill me with a knife if we didn't drop him in Al Aweer. He then ordered G.K. to stop at a gas station and bring him petrol."

The Pakistani said: "When G.K. stopped at a station we left the suspect alone in the minibus and ran away."

08 November, 2007 09:50  
Blogger nick said...

Hmmm. I have an idea for an expat -IVF business here.
A 'depository' in Sonapur (Desi Masala mags provided) and the respective clinic in Kerala.

Business plans on a postcard please.

08 November, 2007 11:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anglo Hindu, there is lots of competition to populate the world. See the population growth rate below. I do not remember seeing India is the list. Check 19 and 40.

Of course, India being a civilised and progressed country from some 3000 years saw people from all over ( including Arabs and whites) coming in and adding to India's population problems and making it a large base today. No prizes for Guess who were the first expatriates?
In any case, none of this is going to solve balu's problem. he is screwed, he does not have to go home, his wife will anyway get pregnant, there are lots to help.


1 Liberia 4.50
2 Burundi 3.90
3 Afghanistan 3.85
4 Western Sahara 3.72
5 East Timor 3.50
6 Niger 3.49
7 Eritrea 3.24
8 Uganda 3.24
9 Congo 3.22
10 Palestine 3.18
11 Jordan 3.04
12 Mali 3.02
13 Benin 3.02
14 Guinea-Bissau 2.98
15 Yemen 2.97
16 Somalia 2.92
17 Burkina Faso 2.89
18 Chad 2.88
19 UAE 2.85
20 Angola 2.78
21 Rwanda 2.76
22 Madagascar 2.66
23 Kenya 2.65
24 Togo 2.65
25 Gambia 2.63
26 Malawi 2.57
27 Mauritania 2.53
28 Syria 2.52
29 Ethiopia 2.51
30 Tanzania 2.47
31 Guatemala 2.47
32 Senegal 2.46
33 Comoros[2] 2.46
34 Kuwait 2.44
35 French Guiana 2.41
36 Guinea 2.38
37 Vanuatu 2.38
38 Solomon Isl. 2.33
39 Nigeria 2.27
40 Saudi Arabia 2.24

08 November, 2007 13:14  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anglo Hindu....
You seem so bright. I want to have children as smart as you. Therefore I have decided I will marry your mum.

Please call mummy and tell her there is a biiiiiiggg man here for her. He wants to give her lots of ladu's, mmm, you know what I mean by that dont you.

Also from the sounds of it; your sister knows how to make curry. So I also would like to employ her as a maid. Added money will be paid if she can wash the dishes.

Since you can predict the future and all, and are good at forecasting. From the sounds of it, you sound like a gardener the way he can predict weather. An expert gardener mind you, as you can make the desert bloom.

So I would like to employ you too, in my garden. Ofcourse you could be employed by a royal; in that case I would not be abloe to afford you. But I probably can if I syndicate with my neighbours. There are three of us in total, there might be four though. I am not sure if the fourth one will be keen. So I will be bried you on the only three of us.

Me and my mate, my real homie, are going to hire you for our garden. you just gonna do gardening. meals cooked by your sister will be included as part of your contract. You will also be allowed to baby sit my son, who will ofcourse be your half brother.

My third neighbour is an old western guy. He was big in the sixties in the counter movements and things like that. He is just lonely, although he enjoys a very healthy sex life. According to him he has never been with a woman, so I dont know what that makes him. I wonder what he will want to employ you for. Although he always has a smirk on his face when he talks about any anglo indian hired help. I am sure you will do whats required of you.

Ok jaldi jaldi, get on with the programme. Contact your mum for ladu's.

08 November, 2007 14:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Of course, India being a civilised and progressed country"

Hahahahahahahahahaah. Gotta love fiction.

08 November, 2007 23:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sd,

How about making comments only for those who are registered users of bloger.

09 November, 2007 03:01  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what if they are only registered users of bloggers or whatever. I will do anything to get Anglo Indians mum. She is my soul mate, & I lover her now. The love is set.

Ango Indian, Anglo Indian. Hurry now, mummy's Ladu is getting warm. We dont want that do we. Cammon Jaldi boy, Jaldi.

09 November, 2007 16:09  
Blogger صلعم said...

"and struck it lucky on his honeymoon, receiving photographic confirmation of his achievement nine months later."

I would say he struck it unlucky if you ask me.

09 November, 2007 18:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The guy above me. I want your mum too if she is available. My God, all these wome giving birth to all these brainy kids.

I have something good for your mum too, and ofcourse for you too. You want a little brother dont you?

09 November, 2007 21:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wrote the comment to the guy in the arabic writing, little did I know there was comment between me and him. Some one else had written something, as now my comments seem to be mis directed, but also the lord likes me. The guy above me seems to have a pretty mum too.

Ooh lord, you give me too much blessing.

09 November, 2007 21:15  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like someone here has a thing for fertile Indian women and their perspicacious offspring.

I think its probably due to a vestigial instinct to prevent being bred out of existance. Well, good luck with that, spread the word, and the seed.

I know you probably want to give me a little brother too right now. However, I sprang from the earth fully grown. You'd have to dig a hole, slip your dick into it and hope the groundhogs still think its winter.

But whatever you do, know that you are trying to hold back the sea. The tide is rising, so run, little boy, run.

Jaya Hind.

10 November, 2007 06:53  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the desparate anon who wants to marry the Indian moms...

have you given away your mom and sis too?? Where are they? perhaps you tried your luck at home and failed. Man! you seem desparate, you need to see a shrink sooner..

10 November, 2007 07:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol...thats funny

12 November, 2007 12:16  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"With apologies to the poet Alexander Pope, you could say, for inches and centimetres, let fools contend."

12 November, 2007 16:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Religion is the principal cause of overpopulation.

16 November, 2007 00:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not THIS religion, apparently. One man seems to have found a solution...

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20071114/tod-india-society-animal-offbeat-451ab4f_1.html

20 November, 2007 00:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Com'n that bitch looks very excited in the picture. Now don't be jealous :-)
So goes the saying...."every dog has its day" !! LOL

20 November, 2007 19:41  
Blogger Petite For Life said...

I feel so sorry when I hear such cases that end up an in balance in the nation & increases crimes such as rape & illeginent relationships that destroys so many families lives. Thank God for what you have.

23 November, 2007 00:21  
Anonymous Sita said...

To all the Indians here who were offended by the anti-Indian tone of the comments:

Save your breath. The whole whole knows that this century belongs to India and China. We beat the world because of sheer numbers.

The Arab world, for all its anti-Indian racism, has not been able to produce a democracy to rival Indian democracy.

At least, we make sincere attempts to address gargantuan problems like inequality, religous intolerance and political freedom.

Tell me, what is the Arab world's anwser to Indian democracy? Which other country in the world the size of India can offer anything remotely close to what elections acheive in India?

Basic political representation at the grass roots?

Sure we have problems, but the difference is, we are already a democratic pluralistic society, so we have a better chance of prospering in the face of social and economic upheavals.

You cannot appreciate India's diversity living in the UAE, which is India's anti-thesis in every sense of the word. Tell me, how many Emiratis have won the Nobel Prize for anything; despite their massive wealth and resources? How come India produces Nobel laureates regularly?

I know I am being simplistic, but I cannot understand the Arab antipathy to other non-white races. It looks like internalised racism to me

13 December, 2007 19:16  

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