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12 March, 2008

Sharjah purity test

In the 1980s there was a popular UK sitcom called The Two of US starring Nicholas Lyndhurst and Janet Dibley as a couple who lived together. The comedy would be somewhat incomprehensible by today's more enlightened mores, but the entire source of the humour derived from the fact that the couple was "living in sin".

There's one place that The Two of Us would still create shock and awe: modern-day Sharjah. Along with supposedly gentle comedies such as Man About The House, How I Met Your Mother, Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place and even Frasier. Because police from the stone-age emirate are busy raiding "mixed-sex" housing. Note that this does not specifically mean couples, but any house-sharing arrangement with mixed gender flatmates and so on:

"The majority of shared apartments were in Al Majaz, Al Nahda, Abu Shagara and Al Mamzar.

"Shared villas were found to be dominant in low-cost Arab homes in Maysaloon, Al Nabba'a and Um Khanoor, which were mostly inhabited by Asians and Africans."


Those that can't resist the idea of having "Abu Shagara" as their address should first take the Sharjah Purity Test. Here's the female version:

SHARJAH PURITY TEST

1. Have you ever shared a car with: a male schoolfriend (-1) a male cousin (-1) your sister's husband (-1) your father's male cousin (-1) a male work colleage (-1) a male friend (-10) a male boyfriend (-100)

2. Have you ever gone to the mall wearing: knee-length shorts (-1) three-quarter length sleeves (-1) a t-shirt (-2) a tank top (-10) hotpants (-10) a crop top (-20) a bikini (-50) a thong bikini (-100)

3. Have you ever: drunk alcohol (-1); drunk alcohol without a licence (-5); bought alcohol from duty free (-5); bought alcohol from the Hole-in-the-Wall (-20)

4. Have you ever been in a private place, such as an office or hotel room, with: your male boss (-1); your male doctor (-1); your male cousin (-1); a male work client (-1); a male colleague (-1); a male schoolfriend (-1); your aunt's husband (-1); your fiancee (-50); your boyfriend (-100)

SCORING: 0 to -10: $3,000 fine; -11 to -50: six months in Al Slammer; -100+ stoning/beheading/deportation

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16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well you know what is bound to happen when you got boys and girls in the room.
It is much safer to lock up a bunch of boys together and deny them access to the opposite gender then they will have no other choice ... Humm, no wait, that is not what I meant.

12 March, 2008 07:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SD, was this the blog that got you 'BLOCKED' (Temporarily, I hope) by the UAE censors? I guess the Sheiks in Sharjah are fed up having the mickey taken out of them, remember the 'naked mannequin arouses bachelors in shop windows' story!! Still they deserve everything for still being as you correctly say 'stone age' As John McEnroe once exclaimed 'You Cannot Be Serious'!!

12 March, 2008 09:34  
Blogger Annabelle said...

Dubai is not much better really. A Canadian girl was here on holidays and was stupid enough to go home with some guy after a few drinks. He assaulted her, beat her up really bad. At first, the legal system was after the guy, but as he is rich and powerfull, now the roles have changed and she is now charged with... among others... going into the house of somebody who is not a relative!

12 March, 2008 09:51  
Blogger secretdubai said...

No, I wrote this after I found out about the block.

This time round, I'm rather flattered by it. I also feel more liberated now the stupiderati are no longer able to view it, and only people living outside the UAE or intelligent enough to bypass the proxy are now reading and commenting.

12 March, 2008 10:02  
Blogger Redbelt said...

Hi SD
I know what your trying to say and I know Sharjah can be much.
But What you wrote is totally unfair too.

12 March, 2008 10:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep it up SD, perhaps now you're blocked you can give it a bit more clout

12 March, 2008 17:18  
Anonymous UAE hates freedom of speech said...

Welcome to the free world SD!
: )

Bet the DIC is still reading it :D

12 March, 2008 18:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DU's still not using a proxy. I'm still reading. :)

12 March, 2008 19:01  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How come Sex and Dubai then cant be seen from outside the UAE?

I dont know why people make such a big deal about sex - it becomes like an elephant in the room... greater than what it really is to the point where you get stupid segregation laws. etc.

12 March, 2008 21:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 19:01

"DU's still not using a proxy. I'm still reading. :)"

Same here.

13 March, 2008 10:54  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Sex & Dubai should still be viewable beyond the proxy - they don't appear to have deleted it.

Last time I was deleted the first reason they gave was "nudity". Well, you can go back through the archives and count the images for yourselves: zero. So I wonder what the reason will be this time, if they give any.

Any of you want help getting round the proxy (not for my blog specifically, just generally) drop me a line.

13 March, 2008 11:23  
Blogger ali900 said...

haha i like this post - its silly laws which have forced people to live together and high rents and living costs... its like salik vs banning carpools - sigh*

anyways - for people who cant read SD anymore, i feel sorry for you... if DU\other networks have no proxy, its brilliant!

13 March, 2008 16:10  
Anonymous Miss Anon said...

Sex and Dubai as a page works - do they just not write anymore?

14 March, 2008 02:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A journalist ain't doing their job if they ain't pissing someone off.

Getting blocked should be worn as a badge of honour.

15 March, 2008 05:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi. I stumbled across your blog. I used to live in Um khanoor but now I live in the Philippines. I just wanted to complement you on your brutal honesty! My hat's off to yah!

03 May, 2008 18:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF...My GF is now working there as a Physical therapist and she wanted me to go there also...after reading some of your Blog...I don't feel like going there at all before we get married. What a f**ked-up place UAE is...

09 May, 2008 17:58  

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