Futile resolutions

This year's resolution - learn Arabic - is not getting off to a great start, despite starting a week early. Days of learning polite greetings and proper terms of welcome results in derision from Lola the LebCan PR Princess, who describes it as tribal. "It sounds like you're saying 'Ahoy!'" Apparently no one ever speaks like this, and the correct greeting in Lebanese is "Bonjour, ca va habibi?"