Exquisite stupidity: the Chinese "alphabet"

Dubai police have decided to improve relations with the Chinese community, by sending twenty officers on a crash course in "Chinese" (Mandarin? Cantonese??) According to Gulf News, "The participants will go through an eight-week beginners course during which they will learn the alphabet."

If by the end of the course any of the Keystone Coppers manages Ni Hao it will be a minor miracle.