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30 May, 2003

Oracle at the Oasis

Suffering a pre-mid life crisis after a rush of dating disasters, Lola LebCan decided to consult an Oracle, in this case the Wise Woman of Lebanon. In fact she invited the Wise Woman round to her palatial boudoir at Oasis Towers.

Appearances are somewhat deceptive, as the WWoL has taken the incarnation of a 23-year-old Emirates-hostess-esque siren. But behind the dazzling and youthful looks lurks a steely brilliance on all matters Arab men, dating and general desperation.

The Wise Woman was consulted on the ways and chances of finding a stable, attractive, marriage-minded Arab muslim man of around thirty, most significantly one whose matrimonial designs weren't exclusively on an eighteen-year-old virgin.

Some hours later, when the tears of laughter had finally dried, the WWoL pointed out to Lola LebCan that she is (a) barely Arab, (b) even less Muslim. The advice: move country, change job, select another race and religion, and join a marriage bureau.

And if all else fails, fly to Cairo for a re-virginisation operation.

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