I Dream of Djinnie

Severe jetlag from whirlwing longhaul trips and delayed planes, coupled with a virus picked up on the plane (SARS?) is causing strange hallucinations and waking nightmares.

Chiefly: the image of a small oblong plastic tray with unfreshly-cut chilled fruit slices lying menacingly on top of it, each one tasting of melon and softening around the edges. The tray moves closer and closer as the glistening melony threat edges ever nearer...

How opportune then, that the Government of Dubai's latest e-venture to enhance and enrich the lives of its citizens is a free dream interpretation service. Fill out your details, including Standard of Living ("Average" "Rich" "Poor"), Religious Commitment ("Devout" "Moderate" "Uncommitted") and Emotional Relations ("Exist" "None" "Existed before") and submit your vision for Islamic interpretation.

It is tempting to insert a wild fantasy of bedouins, camels and Sheikh Ahmed "Aki" Emirates drifting mirage-like over the sand dunes. But the fear of ending up on a hitlist for the Ministry for the Prevention of Vice and Promotion of Virtue is too great.

Or worse still, a marketing database for Arabian Adventures.