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11 August, 2005

Hazed and dazed

A thick white dust has been hanging in the air for the past couple of days, turning the air opaque and making it very uncomfortable to breathe outside.

No wonder that Guantanamo inmates are flocking to the fresher, air-conditioned splendour of nearby Ibn Battuta mall. One kilometre long and generously wide, it even attracts sweat-band sporting powerwalkers who perform a sort of human slalom around groups of abayas, sunburnt tourists, and labourers.

The biggest obstacle for these mall-athletes is in the India zone, where a bizarre life-sized elephant has been installed half blocking the main hallway. The rest of the hallway is filled 24/7 with Indian people crowding round it and taking photos. What exactly is special or exciting about this elephant? Is it some sort of god?

A far more impressive artefact is currently on display in one of the handicraft boutiques: a ten-foot-high antique coffeepot, claimed by the shopowners to be the biggest in the world. Recently acquired from a palace in Isfahan - presumably to make space for a stockpile of yellowcake - it has a price tag of $250,000.

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello!
Thank god you are back. Sharper than ever it would seem.
I salute you!

12 August, 2005 03:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Homer Simpson put on an elephant suit during Apu's wedding and started shouting, "I am Ghanesh!"...yep the elephant is some sort of God to the Hindus.

12 August, 2005 14:12  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I know of Ganesh - but it's usually quite distinctive looking, a human with an elephant's head. This is an actual model elephant, with a model human riding it. Perhaps the human is the famous/interesting part?

12 August, 2005 15:08  
Blogger Neha said...

Come ON. It's a LIFESIZE elephant statue. This may not be a 'wow' thing for you lucky well-travelled folk who give a damn about antiques but a good chunk of the 'Indian' population in Dxb originates from areas where such manmade monstrosities are RARE because they gots no money, honey.

Anonymous, you are *quite* the cultural scholar and have such a wise way with words [end sarcasm].

12 August, 2005 18:39  
Blogger Emirati said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12 August, 2005 22:36  
Anonymous Kishore J Sasi said...

Obviously none of the writers including the blogger didn't stop to read or have a look at the AV presentation on the monitor which are placed near the elephant!!

13 August, 2005 09:05  
Blogger GoodLookiN! said...

I am sorry not take foto of elephant in the mall madam. I worked on the site for 12 hours a day for 18 months to make this mall at AED 500 a month so that Dubai can have more AC places. I feel sad that there is no real elephant here, I wish before they built more of these malls they can do something about the Dubai Zoo and real elephants.

Please don't ban me for writing this saar. After all, we built so much together, no? But now I guess you like Germans and UK people better, they have no ban, no? You pay them more and then also no ban, no? Why saar? Is it ok to ask? May be can't can't find job in Europe, because all jobs went to India and China. Poor poeple, we should help them get job in Dubai or how they can buy beer and screw? After you ban me for writing this, you can give them my job. I would like to see them work at 45C for 12 hours and not get paid for three months at a time. Just tell them that the tan is free, they like things like that saar. But until then, I hope you don't mind if I take a FREKIN PHOTOGRAPHIC OF A FAKE ELEPHANT IN FAKE ECO SYSTEM.

13 August, 2005 10:13  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Don't know if your post is satire, but just to clarify: it's not the photographers that irritate me, it's the stupid mall planners that dumped the elephant in a narrow part of the main walkway. Why not put it in the middle of the courtyard if it's so super, and illuminate it better?

They've even structured the barrier around it to curve outwards further across the walkway.

13 August, 2005 10:53  
Blogger GoodLookiN! said...

Maybe they have a bigger elephant planned for the middle? :-)

13 August, 2005 11:18  
Blogger phirang said...

SD, you may not be familiar with the engineering behind malls, but the optimal mall seeks to maximize the distance one must walk to get anywhere. It's a pain in the ass, and so it's why I stopped shopping and just carjack people in the parking lot and steal their shit.

14 August, 2005 05:01  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After all the slurs, nice comeback SD!

Goodlookin' - hilarious (yet true) post!

Peace, racial equality and fake elephants,
Diabolo

14 August, 2005 12:40  

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