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29 September, 2005

Disgraceful Druz dad

A tale to chill the cockles of every heart: what kind of a world do we live in where a father is able to have his adult daughter jailed rather than let her marry the man she loves?

This disgusting disgrace to fatherhood insisted that his daughter, a Lebanese Druz who recently converted to Islam, be imprisoned for her relationship with a non-Druz Syrian, becuse of his "personal anti-Syria stand".

Not forgetting the role of that forensic tour-de-force, the doubtless 100% medically reliable and verifiable virginity test:

"The Dubai public prosecution arrested them under the charge of copulation with consent. A virginity test carried out showed the girl was having sex for over six months."

But what is even more appalling than stone-age attitudes to a woman's vaginal privacy is this execrable perversion-of-parenthood's attitude:

"The court officials tried to convince the father to let his daughter marry her lover and to cancel the lawsuit no 2076/2005. But he refused and insisted that his daughter should be imprisoned rather than marry a Syrian national because of his personal anti-Syria stand."

This man is a piece of excrement. If only he and his vile prejudices could be quickly flushed away.

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Blogger black feline said...

LOL...LOL...Secret Dubai...welcome to the world of mine too..

29 September, 2005 12:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i loved one german girl she was so pretty really very pretty! everybody use to think that she is the sister of Claudia schiffer!

She was a unique thing in her which is very rare in europeans females! she use to shy away from me each time i told her that she is beautiful.

but one day, she spoke to her parents that she is dating a muslim from arabia! her parents became paranoid! esp. her mom! she told her dont do that!!!!

you cant marry a muslim! and i am afriad he will do something bad to you! because her mom was reading a book as well called "Without my daughter"

which is about an american women who was marry to a irani!

so now her mom thinks Iran=arabia and all arabia man=bad

She broke off with me becoz of her mom.

29 September, 2005 12:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They can even tell how long she's been having sex? wtf? do they use carbon dating or something?

I can't believe we have doctors who test for this kind of shite.

She should turn the tables and tell the authorities that her father abused her...then we'd see who would be the one in gaol

29 September, 2005 12:43  
Blogger black feline said...


u r lying..say its true..or that poor girl is blind..anyway, im glad for her..sorry i mean im glad for

29 September, 2005 13:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

pussycat, I swear I am not lying... tell me how can i prove it to you?

29 September, 2005 14:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


29 September, 2005 14:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



29 September, 2005 14:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Sometime I wonder how true these stories are? And all the time I wonder how the human interpretation of the law is an Ass!

I wish not to comment on such story as I do not know the facts well enough. I assume it is a father ego thing in a small petty minded and low educated individual who considers his daughter a property and not a free thinking individual.
Maybe I send him a translation of JP Sartre book:
The Transcendence of the Ego : An Existentialist Theory of Consciousness.

What makes me smile in an ironic stance is the fact that the man is of the Druse community from the Lebanon. In fact the Druse community is Syrian and not Lebanese in origin. Maybe someone ought to tell him that the Druse founded by Hakim who died in 1020 came from Syria Jebel el Soumak and Jebel el Alla to Lebanon brought by the Emir Bashir in 1811 (Emir Beshir was originally Druse converted to Christianity) with a total of 400 families while the rest remained in Syria. Their present chief who is Walid Jumblat still has to this day in Aleppo/Syria a classified Syrian historic house under the name of Kasr Jumblatt. Actually it is a very nice place to visit.

So the poor man is rather confused and for his sake I hope he never see the light as he will get blinded and better for him to stay in bliss ignorance.

As to the poor lovers, my heart goes out to them.

29 September, 2005 14:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont think it is nice that even id balushi is talking baloonshit, that you should call him by that name. its not nice.

29 September, 2005 15:12  
Blogger Hurricane_ said...

SD, can we please vote to banning BALL SHIT from posting on your blog. He has nothing intelligent to say.

29 September, 2005 15:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! A Wedding Limousine? How extremely appropriate!

We all love Spam. We love it. We! Love ! It!

(Erm... except for anyone who can't have ham. Sorry, folks! I'll try to hide it the next time I'm leaving Spinney's.)

29 September, 2005 16:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


A truly awful and venal story. V-tests eh? How about a rectal test on the doctor with a palm tree. And same goes for the dad too.

Horrid fellas whoever they are.


29 September, 2005 16:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Balushi

"she use to shy away from me each time i told her that she is beautiful."

could it be that she was cringing? shuddering?

"She broke off with me becoz of her mom."

you mean her mom had a thing for you, so she sacrificed her love?

wow you are so profound

29 September, 2005 17:03  
Blogger moryarti said...

come on you guys, take it easy on Balushi.. :) The guy was just trying to make a point through a heartbreaking love story...

I hear ya buddy.. :o)

29 September, 2005 19:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 14:58

A Syrian does not mean the person is Durzi. The Druz are generally found in the mountains in between Syria, Lebanon and Israel.

In the Durzis (which, whether the mainstream Muslims like it or not, _Are_ a denomination of Islam) do not allow intermarriage with non Durzi's.

Having been around Druz I can tell you they are one of the most pleasant people to be around. With that being said, every group of people have their own stupid beleifs/rules/cultures/whatever. They have the mystery around their practices and this insanely paranoid attempt to limit those entering the Durzi denomination.

In either case, a guy who would rather have his daughter go to prison than marry the man she is convinced of is not doing anyone a favor. The daughter will very unlikely have anything to do with her father or the Durzi community for that matter. So, nobody wins.

29 September, 2005 19:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

balushi talks baoooolsheet. ban the guy, he wastes room on my screen, he wastes download time on my net connection and gives more money to etisalatopoly.

BAN Balushi, I thought th Blues Brothers was a crap film anyway.

29 September, 2005 20:47  
Blogger Jassim said...

2 issues here. Issue 1. I dont know any Durzi people but I hear alot from my lebanese friends. It is usually bad things and hateful words being said about them. But I will not judge them coz I personally dont know, furthermore unless everything said by everyone on their parts can be verified in this story then i dont think anyone on this board should make judgement. I am a very open minded man and 2 me this article stank of racism.

2nd issue. Balushi is having fun here the only ways he knows how. And admit it, this is the reason why we are all here, to have fun. Onless he starts to say some very bad things that can threaten this blogs existence or he threatens lives or whatever, then people just need to stop being so anal or however the expression goes. Lighten up pleeze!

29 September, 2005 23:15  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Balushi...if you are real emirati stop posting those embarassing comments about your social life. It only allows others to disrespect you and insult the name of balushis. In fact, you are starting to embarass most emiratis.

30 September, 2005 00:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SD, I think you are an feminist or human-right activist. It seems that many customs irritate you. Many Westerners think more conservative countries terrible for females but some I know ae very haapy because their husbands suppport them for lifetime. I guess that is true in West as well. But it is true these coutnries guys are very, chauvinistic.

30 September, 2005 01:55  
Blogger pixelsonic said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

30 September, 2005 02:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where does parental consent come in when one is an adult ???

30 September, 2005 05:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't understand why is this druze thing is on the news! I dont pay 2dirhams to Gulfnews for this lousy stories!!!

This has happened to me and who gave a toss??? nobody!

Ok secy, make a new article!

30 September, 2005 15:58  
Blogger secretdubai said...

SD, I think you are an feminist or human-right activist.
Not currently an activist, but a firm believer in human rights. And in terms of feminism: an equalist.

know ae very haapy because their husbands suppport them for lifetime. I guess that is true in West as well.
Very true. And when both parties consent and are happy with such a financial arrangement, that's fine. It works both ways - it would be nicer to see a poorer Emirati man being able to marry a richer Emirati girl with her parents funding the wedding. (This may happen already - I don't know).

As I understand it, Islam allows for a woman to marry without her guardian's permission if she is in someway "emancipated" - ie, living by herself and supporting herself financially, or previously married and widowed/divorced, and so on. This poor young woman obviously wasn't in such a situtation.

I have no doubt that her a father will reap what he has sown, in the disgust that other family members and more enlightened members of his community must feel towards him, and in the permanent loss of his daughter's affection for him. On his deathbed he may repent it: by then, it will be too late.

He has acted without compassion and without mercy and without love, and by his own admission out of anger and prejudice: this contradicts the teachings of any religion, and it contradicts humanity.

30 September, 2005 16:15  
Blogger Emirati said...

Well.. that was his choice.

What I found stupid was that she converts to islam then has sex with a guy. Harlet, and the syrian asshole is even a bigger harlet. Those syrians are as thick as a rampart.

I cant really condemn the father without being a hypocrite, In any case, if a druze attempted to marry my daughter, I wouldnt goto the law, I would have made a fine paste out of him.

30 September, 2005 18:53  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I would have made a fine paste out of him.

Even if he was an extremely moral, kind, upstanding person, and willing to convert to (regular) Islam and bring his children up as Muslims?!

30 September, 2005 19:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"But what is even more appalling than stone-age attitudes to a woman's...privacy is this execrable perversion-of-parenthood's attitude"

I quite agree with emirati, but for different reasons.

1)In Islam, apostasy is harshly punished. I do not know the rules for Druze people but perhaps their rules are similar.

2)Culturally, virginity is not just valued, but deemed essential for any unmarried person, male or female, in the Muslim world. Pre-marital relations marks boys as dangerous, rogueish individuals disrespectful of another family's women and men as hence unfit to be husbands, and women as unchaste and coming from bad families (the whole family is tainted) and hence unfit to be wives.

As a westerner, where one's sexual orientation, let alone the right to engage in it, has been a totally individual, and not societally framed, decision for the past century (or less?) you will not understand this viewpoint.

30 September, 2005 21:33  
Blogger Emirati said...

Secretdubai, what do you think the term druze means ? Upstanding moral educated muslim ?

30 September, 2005 22:06  
Blogger pixelsonic said...

Anonymous (above), what you have said rings true but as a westerner who can't fully understand this stuff, all I know is that in more than a decade here I have never heard of a muslim male being sent to jail or ostracized from society for not being a virgin so I don't see why muslim women cannot enjoy the same "tolerance".

30 September, 2005 22:09  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Secretdubai, what do you think the term druze means?
Someone born into the druze faith/culture. Further than that, I make no judgements or assumptions about them.

Regardless of the fact that one does not have to convert to Islam to be moral and upstanding, I know of Christians, Jews and others who have converted to Islam. I would never condemn someone for the race or religion they were born into, any more than I would condemn an entire race or religion.

30 September, 2005 23:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

pixleised.try being a muslim male with a deadly and well known STD, in emarati culture and see if he doesnt get osctrized. with all due respect, pixled guy, you may live here but u r not apart of our culture so u cannot c everything we see.

anyway, illegal sexual relations by men do result in jail, but on the virginity thing, it is obviously harder to prove for if a man is still virgin or not.

the muslim women as 'the oppressed' and discriminated will always be a popular thing for westerners to point there fingers at, but there r more shades of grey in the spectrum than you can ever see.

30 September, 2005 23:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys have made a martyr out of this syrian! I say lets just cut of his thingy and we make another new article.

bcoz i am getting bored, its 12 midnight and i am still not sleep yet.

30 September, 2005 23:58  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

anyway, illegal sexual relations by men do result in jail, but on the virginity thing, it is obviously harder to prove for if a man is still virgin or not.

In practice, probably no harder than proving a woman's virginity. The test involves seeing if the hymen is still intact, but does not take into account the fact that the hymen may be broken without having sex, or may be intact after having sex. The tests are notoriously unreliable, and it dismays me to see such faith being put in them.

01 October, 2005 10:22  
Blogger The Devil's Advocate said...

I think the real matter here is that the police should not be an extension of the moral authorities (who I believe should be God or conscience or whatever).

A remember the story in the papers a while ago about the police monitoring a woman who was suspected of having an illicit relationship and then catching her and her boyfriend and arresting them both. COME ON! That's what we have cops for? To spy on unhappy wives and husbands?

This isn't about race or oppressed women or western vs. eastern. This is political and legal debate about the role of the police in society.

If we are Muslims than Allah judges us and since in Islam deeds are measured and judged by their intentions and that only god knows our intentions therefore police should not interfere in morality issues. It's simple and logical and rational and complete. If the Syrian is a moron then why does the law support him in his idiocy? There are idiots everywhere in the world, why are you all focusing on this particular one? It's the law enforcement agency, the courts and the law as whole that are to blame.

There needs to be a separation between the crimes that need to be atoned for on earth and the ones that god will avenge.

01 October, 2005 10:46  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

I think the real matter here is that the police should not be an extension of the moral authorities (who I believe should be God or conscience or whatever).


This isn't about race or oppressed women or western vs. eastern. This is political and legal debate about the role of the police in society.

What you're calling for is a separation of church and state. I doubt even a discussion of this will take place in the Middle East for at least another generation or two.

01 October, 2005 10:59  
Blogger The Devil's Advocate said...

Yes I am. People completely misunderstand what secularism is. Separating of church and state in Islam is impossible because we don't have a church or any religious institutions in the Christian tradition.

I don't think we are that far away from the discussion actually. The realities of modern life are hitting hard and fast and soon it will be a matter of pure necessity that the role of law enforcement and the courts in society is discussed. Especially with the huge population explosion and the desire of the police to get even more intrusive with their black boxes in every car, the national id scheme and a camera on every street corner.

01 October, 2005 12:07  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Yes I am.

You'll get no argument from me, then. :)

01 October, 2005 12:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


"..the social ideology in which religion and supernatural beliefs are not seen as the key to understanding the world and are instead segregated from matters of governance" - Wikipedia

Based on the rather informative article there, there are certain criteria for secular societies:

- near complete freedom of religion

- religion does not dictate political decisions

- religious influence is minimised in the public sphere

- religion is not as important in most people's lives as it once was

To dissemble and state that there is no church in Islam is wrong. The church in this school of thinking simply represents religion (in whatever form).

So basically, the prescription is that Islam should take a back seat here, if it should even have a seat in the first place.
I do not know what other Muslims think, but I for one pray secularism never spreads here, no matter how much others may wish for it to happen.

To link this issue with '1984-ish' behaviour by regional governments is misleading.

Truly, you and tim are the devil's advocates.


01 October, 2005 14:07  
Blogger The Devil's Advocate said...

Wikipedia! Wow! Oh my god! Your argument is based on the definition of the word in Wikipedia?! Come on man! There's more to it than that...

Just because you use one definition for the word "secularism" doesn't mean you are right (or that I am for that matter) BUT...

Modern secularism started off in Europe when they were attempting to separate the church (an institution) from state. We do not have a church in Islam.

You anti-secularism people are all the same, you quietly slip in something like ...

religion is not as important in most people's lives as it once was get all the moralists on your side. Secularism does not necessarily mean that religion loses importance in people's day to day lives. It is about separating the civil institutions of government from the religious institutions of god so that neither can exploit the other to oppress the people.

Islam should never take a back seat. But we should free (for example) the mosques from the control of the government. I would truly like my mosques to not be the mouthpieces of the government, wouldn't you? Haven't you noticed they all say the same censored and party-line toeing rhetoric? It's vacuous. Our Imams are puppets.

Look, Islam is life. It is about how you behave, how you address people, how you spend your money, how you spend your time. It's not a building or a figure or a place. It is life. We can't separate life from life, it's not possible.

The western secularism movements were about removing religion from government because religion was a building, a figure, a place. And they got confused, because religion had a physical representation it was easy to separate from the civil institutions. But what did the constitutions of these countries base their laws upon? The same principles and concepts pretty much all religions agree on (kind of..)

So how would we do it?

First, we'd have a constitution that basically reduced the Quran and the seera to something that was understandable by everyone and could be referred to for making law. Simple stuff like the American know? Everyone is born free and equal. Everyone has the right to education and health care etc etc. Then you have laws that do not contravene the basic concepts in the constitution and whenever something new happens that the constitution doesn't cover, you have a discussion about all the relevant aspects (religious, economical, social, medical etc etc ) and make a decision.

Look, it's easy. But what it requires is for you to get past the brainwashing you've undergone your whole life that's created this knee-jerk reaction in you whenever you hear the words "secularism" or "globalization" or "freedom"

01 October, 2005 14:32  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

I'm not sure separation of "church" and state and secularism are the same thing. A secular society is unlikely to ever take precedence in the Middle East, just as it is not likely to in the USA - yet in the latter, church and state are, according to the constitution, separate.

Then you have the (pretty much) secular UK, in which the church and state are not separated (the head of state is the head of the CoE for starters, not to mention the appointment of Bishops in the House of Lords).

Then you have France which is (almost completely) secular and with an entirely separate church and state.

Therefore, calling for a separation of "church" and state in the Middle East is not the same as calling for secularism in society. Personally, I couldn't care less how secular society is, provided individuals who wish to be secular are fully protected by law. This is usually only brought about by a partial separation of church and state.

01 October, 2005 15:26  
Blogger pixelsonic said...

Local guy:

I know that there is alot of grey here and I sure wouldn't have stuck around here so long if I didn't have a healthy respect for locals and your country (because the cash sure isn't thaaat great anymore). Just making the usual "hypocrite!" point for the sake of discussion.

It's kind of hard to know where the line between imposing foreign (liberal democratic) values upon a foreign culture and rooting out BS is sometimes, so no disrespect meant.

01 October, 2005 16:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The girl is underage, her legal guardian (in this case her father) can obstruct her maritial wishes. I cannot remember how old she has to be in the Emirates, 21 perhaps, like Kuwait. After that age, no one can obstruct the marriage legally.

Socially... that's another case, just like in any other country, a family can turn its back on any member they consider a "black sheep".

all I know is that in more than a decade here I have never heard of a muslim male being sent to jail or ostracized from society for not being a virgin so I don't see why muslim women cannot enjoy the same "tolerance"

Pixelsonic I see your point. I too think of it unfair. However, isn't it the same in every society? in the West, women too are heavily critisized if they are considered "too promiscous" yet a man's many one-night stands are awarded with a high-five. He's considered a "stud" while a woman who does the same is quickly labled as a "whore".

01 October, 2005 22:02  
Blogger pixelsonic said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

01 October, 2005 22:39  
Blogger pixelsonic said...

Anonk, you make an excellent point about double standards in the west as well. In the case that you mentioned I suppose one could even argue that freedom does not actually guarantee the absence of oppression and hypocricy, in fact it can obscure them.

01 October, 2005 22:41  
Blogger pixelsonic said...

Devil's advocate:

Your interpretation of and argument for secularism is propably the most interesting thing I have even encountered in a UAE blog and I would love to see that happen in a way that doesn't have to destroy regional cultures or Islam but you are defenitely correct in that the boundaries between politics and religion in the Middle East are very obscure so I have to agree with Tim that, even if an inteligent person such as yourself were able to define and promote a concise and palatable concept of secularism, I doubt that it would be ever able to take root for at least a few more generations.

Not to mention how much more the average ME people will now be against any form of secularization because of the Americans being in Iraq.

Unless somebody is one hell of a salesman :)

01 October, 2005 22:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Not to mention how much more the average ME people will now be against any form of secularization because of the Americans being in Iraq."

Americans are secular..yeah right..tell that to the bible thumping republican hordes that support born-again christian crusaders like bush & ashcroft

01 October, 2005 23:59  
Blogger akantha said...

OK, someone has to tell me what the virginity test consists of, and how it quantifies the timeline of, uh, violation....

02 October, 2005 15:00  
Blogger MrX said...

hi guys just i want to ask about druz.hey sorry my english is too weak so dont mind.if a boy love a druz girl i mean to say they love each other so tell me how can they marry.pls tell me how?

20 August, 2007 05:11  
Blogger akramabdul.malak said...

one man said..

when you really know what druze means,you can comment

27 August, 2007 06:40  
Blogger Unknown said...

its a long blog so am not gona read it, am going to comment on the story.
first thing i'd like to point out is that i am a Druz, am going to try to explain to you what are the basics of the Druz religion. First of, our religion is based on the Koran And the bible, we are obliged to memorize both books. second, we are a very small religion counting 3 million worldwide, 300000 of theses are Lebanese and 860000 are Syrians. we mostly marry from our country but if a Lebanese Druz wanted a Syrian Druz, we have no problem with it.
problems like the one mentioned in this story are VERY uncommon as we are as our cult obliges us to defend our honor and the honor of any Druz. we live in specific towns known to be druz towns,so everybody is watching out for everybody and premarital sex is very uncommon.
My point is that this story is taken from a religious point of view... some seem to be saying "the father is Druz, if he was anything but Druz he would not have done it" I hope everyone reading or writing in this blog keeps an open mind, read ask and if you can meet a Druz community before you judge us, you'll be amazed by our culture and the education of this small religion. having said that, i would like to point out that this is not the Druz way to solve the problem they are facing. I personally think it is very wrong.

if anyone would like to ask any questions about the druz religion i will try to answer as much as i can!

21 August, 2008 02:17  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to know if Druz are Christian faith. I met a Druze who said that he is Christian. Is this possible? I heard that there is no such thing as Christian Druze. What is their religion exactly?

25 September, 2008 06:59  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When speaking about racism, it may be as well to examine your own attitudes towards people from the UK.

Despite what you might think, there are educated, articulate, culturally aware shopaholics in the North of the UK. Brummies aren't all nightmares, and if you're judging a country you've either never visited, or on the basis of a few years spent in Lahndahn, then can I strongly suggest you spend a week in Manchester before you tar us all with the same brush.

Yours, becoming an avid reader, but pissed at the double standards

06 October, 2008 22:55  

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