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25 October, 2005

The perils of poor p*ssy

Those unconfined by the UAE's rigid and regressive internet censorship will be unaware of the absolute block of the P-word.

In the UAE it is impossible to search Google for information on the James Bond film Octopussy. It is impossible to look for a picture of Honor Blackman playing Pussy Galore. It is impossible to search Thesaurus.com to find an alternative to "pussyfoot". It is impossible to view the photos that a friend puts online of her pussycat, as pussycat2.jpg* etc will all be blocked.

To help those unable to look up the word pussy, and to try and educate the Dishdashes-That-Be that the English language is in fact rich enough to have more than one meaning per word, here are the dictionary definitions for the P-word:

puss·y1
n. pl, puss·ies
1. Informal. A cat.
2. Botany. A fuzzy catkin, especially of the pussy willow.
3. Vulgar Slang.
(a) The vulva.
(b) Sexual intercourse with a woman.
4. Offensive Slang. Used as a disparaging term for a woman.
5. Slang. A man regarded as weak, timid, or unmanly.

pus·sy2
adj. pus··si·er, pus··si·est
Containing or resembling pus.

Four out of six ain't bad.

*here for those that can't see it

Labels: ,

26 Comments:

Blogger samuraisam said...

just search for "ussy", there was actually a ship called octopussy.
I had a list of all the words they blocked, and its quite a few.

25 October, 2005 07:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

north americans really don't use pussy to call their cats. we once overheard a european guy telling the boy to touch his daughter's pussy..

25 October, 2005 07:42  
Blogger black feline said...

try feline..SD..u are staring at it..

25 October, 2005 08:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

An acquaintance had a cat and I asked her once 'How is your your pussy doing today?'. She took offence to that. I apologised not realizing what I had said until a few moments later.

25 October, 2005 10:48  
Blogger twisted.ae said...

SD are you TRYING to get your site blocked? I dont know what software Etisalat uses to track words and automatically block sites, but lets hope it doesnt catch up to your post...

Anyway James Bond femme fatale names were meant to sexual suggestive. P*ssy Galore is an obvious example and needs no explaining... My favorite one to date was on a Star Trek episode that was parodying the Bond franchise with a female character called Mona Luvsitt (moaner loves it)

25 October, 2005 10:51  
Blogger The Lady said...

Do you reckon your blog would soon be blocked for use of the elusive P-word?

25 October, 2005 11:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think SD is just trying to point out the pecularities of Web life here in the UAE. Admittedly these days many words which were considered harmless a few decades back are now 'vocabulary non grata'. Words such as 'shaft', 'gay', 'beaver' etc come to mind. I personally think there's nothing wrong in calling a cat 'pussy'or any of the above words because they are still in the Oxford English Dictionary and they still mean what have always meant !

25 October, 2005 11:14  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Well, if they block it they block it. I deliberately left any obscenity out of this entry, eg there's no link to a Google image search on "pussy galore" because even with Safe Search switched on you'll get more than a few images that *aren't* the lovely Honor Blackman... ;)

25 October, 2005 11:44  
Blogger CG said...

As a female I would never refer to that part of my anatomy as a P****. It would imply some sort of cheapness. The same goes with my partner, neither he nor I would talk like that. Also my doctor. But I do have a cute pussy cat at home who is called pussy.
They just cannot do this censoring stuff properly, and you know the phrase "if you can't do it properly then don't do it at all".

Now I am off to feed my pussy.



CG

25 October, 2005 11:48  
Anonymous el condo said...

SD...is this the year of livin dangerously or what....

newayz....this whole thread raises horrifying notions...I shudder to contemplate it...

...your friend has a picture of her..... (I dare not say the word) on the net...

...and Black Feline is actually Black.....


BTW, have you gone to Google Image Search and searched for "beaver"...? I need it for my wildlife project...

25 October, 2005 11:53  
Blogger twisted.ae said...

borderline, borderline...next subject please SD?

25 October, 2005 12:44  
Blogger samuraisam said...

twisted.ae, etisalat does not use software to track sites. they dont scan through mounds of text with certain words in mind. they use simple keyword blocks, meaning any site with p*ssy in the title will be blocked, regardless of their content, 5 years ago, sextonuniv etc would've been blocked. Etisalat will not specifically block many sites that contain p*ssy in the title, rather they are simply blocked because of the word in the title, resolving them to an IP address will resume access as normal.

Etisalat uses an american company called securecomputing to do their blocking, people suggest a category for a website, and it's then reviewed and categorized into a single or multiple categories based on its content.

If you want to read more about the blocking system, i have written quite a bit about it here : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etisalat

seeing as secretdubai has previously been blocked, and then specifically unblocked, it is very very very unlikely that it will ever be blocked again unless the content turns into pornography.

25 October, 2005 13:21  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
north americans really don't use pussy to call their cats. we once overheard a european guy telling the boy to touch his daughter's pussy..

25 October, 2005 07:42


That's nearly as startling as being a Brit and overhearing an American mom say "What that kid needs is a damn good smack on the f*nny!"

25 October, 2005 13:50  
Anonymous el condo said...

That jes ain't funny.

25 October, 2005 13:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

for the uninformed.... f@nny means two entire differnt anatomical parts in American English and British English.

25 October, 2005 14:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my grandmother refers to her cat as 'her pussy' and it irks me everytime i hear her say it.
She has no idea though.

25 October, 2005 14:48  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know you've been in the Gulf too long when...

You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
You think everyone's first name is Al
You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
You believe that speed limits are only advisory
You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's
You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq
You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
You have more carpets than floor space
You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
You make left turns from the far right lane
You expect gold for every birthday
You send friends a map instead of your address
You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
You never say Saturday instead of Thursday or Sunday instead of Friday
You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
When you expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide,
When you realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line,
When you know what night is ladies night at every bar in town,
When seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss no longer disgusts you,
When you carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case,
When you can tell the time by listening to the local mosque,
When you think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar,
When you start to say "Insha'allah" when you actually mean "No f** ***g chance!"
When you overtake a police car at 130 km/h
When a problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes
When you can smoke a shisha in public without expecting to be arrested

25 October, 2005 16:35  
Blogger black feline said...

el condo,

wicked wicked...long live black puss..in boots!

25 October, 2005 17:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I checked out that word in my 'dic'(tionary):

1) a diminutive form of the word puss used for anything soft and furry ;) especially cats

2) a willow catkin

3) the female genitalia

4) a woman considered as a sexual object

5) a weak or effeminate man

(origin of the word--> from the Gaelic pus i.e. cat)

Let's not pussyfoot around. Given today's overwhelmingly sexualised media content, most young people would not take that word to mean anything other than (3), (4) or (5) and when those same young people look up that word through any search engine, the statistical probability that they are looking for information on cats or willow catkins is next to nil. ;)

25 October, 2005 19:01  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon1

Question for AHU "All Hypocrites Unite":

Which is more vile?
1- Blocking the word Pussy on the net.
2- Tracking and arresting the person who uses certain Arabic names and religious word for sheer bigotry!

Bring back McCarthyism.

25 October, 2005 22:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Cause fanny means your arse over there...

(pause)

not your minge. ..."

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

26 October, 2005 11:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon @ 11.40

nice one.. there are some classic one liners in 'THE OFFICE' are'nt there?

26 October, 2005 11:47  
Blogger kingfisher said...

I was petting her pussy when the cat walked in...

26 October, 2005 18:03  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only in the UAE, PUSSY RULES!!!!

29 October, 2005 15:07  
Anonymous Dubai-City that would like to Care said...

The whole P0RN regulation is a waste of time. If want to access it you can find it no problem..You cannot stop it unless you cut internet access all together.

04 November, 2005 20:21  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ain't life a cunt!

17 November, 2005 21:52  

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