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27 January, 2006

Fighting fitness

A new terror has befallen inmates at Cell Block G: the opening of a physical correctional facility at Ibn Spud mall. Hard labour in the form of BodyTorture, BodyTorment and BodyAgony is meted out to the victims unwary enough to ascend the escalators of anguish and pass the turnstile of doom.

But this oppression shall not prevail. It shall not break the spirit of the valiant detainees in this harsh southern gulag.

Inmates will secretly stuff schwarmas to restore the fat to their slimmed-down bones. They will lurk at the back of the chain-gangs only feigning effort. They shall adjust the evil machines to the lowest, easiest settings.

And they will return, triumphant, to the soft couches, nightly pizza delivery, games consoles and DVD players of their bleak and lonely cells.

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20 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh well, few more pinky days and all back to normal.

27 January, 2006 02:11  
Blogger Neglected-ism said...

The current lifestyle has so many problems. It's hard to resist the shawarmas and the pizzas even after much exercising. You give in to temptation at a point. But too much of junk food is engulfing real fitness. People think fitness is about being thin. There are seemingly-thin people who have cholesterol problems.

Much awareness has to be spread regarding this. It's a lifestyle hazard. Nice post Secret Dubai =)

27 January, 2006 06:40  
Blogger archer14 said...

Awareness? We've embraced shwarmas and humus-khubus-chicken before you even knew it. Just as you shop till you drop (90% discounts - yeah!), you can eat till you drop......dead.

27 January, 2006 07:13  
Blogger samuraisam said...

shawarmas are pretty damn healthy, a tad bit of bread, some meat, and plenty of healthy salad.

27 January, 2006 09:27  
Blogger Keefieboy said...

BetterArf has also signed up for this. Dang, it could be me next!

27 January, 2006 11:04  
Anonymous Talasim said...

:)

27 January, 2006 11:54  
Blogger Balushi said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

27 January, 2006 12:56  
Blogger Balushi said...

shawarma is very healthy!


the only unhealthy food i know is pork sausage! and those people with beer stomachs eat it day and night, becoz they save money if they eat pork.

27 January, 2006 12:57  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Ha ha ha!

Great writing, SD!

27 January, 2006 14:39  
Blogger Neglected-ism said...

@SamuraiSam

Shawarmas are smothered with animal fat. Not only 'smothered' but the meat is layered with fat. No matter how much salad you eat with it, it still is very unhealthy.

But the tongue doesn't care =)

27 January, 2006 15:38  
Blogger samuraisam said...

Neglected-ism that may just be because it is meat, all meat is smothered in animal fat, you can get falafel shawarma's, i'm pretty sure they have a bare minimum of fat.

27 January, 2006 17:55  
Blogger nzm said...

Hey SD

rather than schwarmas and pizzas after your workout, head downstairs to the China Court and Zyng restaurant.

Really healthy options with lots of veges - Asian fusion.

I saw a couple of the gym personal trainers eating there today, so it must be approved food for gym junkies!

27 January, 2006 20:01  
Blogger Rock.the.Casbah said...

mmm...what about delicious Al Farouj cocktail?

Or humus and tabouleh and fatoush?

I think you can find lots of healthy fast food in the UAE.

And for most of the year the weather is great for exercise!

27 January, 2006 21:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Big meal breakfasts, burger lunches, shawarma dinners. The UAE has a health crisis on its hands. It's hard not to notice the number of people who are obese in this country. The likely reason is the work culture. Since most companies force long hours on their employees, the least they can do is ensure their employees are healthy. Free gym memberships should be more common here. About the only people that are thin are the labourers, and they look malnourished.

27 January, 2006 22:51  
Blogger Rock.the.Casbah said...

Right, the shwarmah is the reason you're fat?

I can sympathize with people who work long hours, but I don't think the average Western expat can use that as an excuse.

The UAE is an easy place to stay fit. There are cheap healthy food choices and there is great weather so you can play outside year round.

I can't speak for the big cities, but in RAK we also have a lot of community sports and people train for larger events - such as the rugby 7s or the Wadi Bih. I believe sports clubs are better in the larger cities because you don't have the numbers problem we do. The UAE is also great because you're not confined to a gym or a soggy field - try hiking or biking in the mountains, walking along the corniche, or taking advantage of the beach!

The UAE is as good a place as any to get fit and live a healthy lifestyle. People should stop making excuses and blaming the shwarmah.

28 January, 2006 01:31  
Blogger archer14 said...

@ Anna-loves-Sahari

Western expats have the best of both worlds. Five figure salaries buy you time, precious time that allows you to socialise and exercise. Two days off a week is more than enough to pay a visit to the gym. As you already know, 85% of businesses do not believe in giving two days off.
The UAE is not an easy place to stay fit. There is no such thing as a leisurely walk without being side swiped by an SUV. And the 'leisurely walk' is something which is near impossible for around 7 months of the year, or you risk dying of a heat stroke.
Yes...The devil is in the shawarmah - cheap and tasty = consume daily.

28 January, 2006 10:12  
Blogger Rock.the.Casbah said...

The weather and SUVs are just excuses. Weather and safety are better in Emirates than in most countries. Do you think it's safety or easier to run/walk in Toronto, London, Delhi, or Durban?

I travelled to school from Ras Al Khaimah to Sharjah five days a week (6am-6pm) and still found time each week for rugby, volleyball, ball hockey, running, and swimming - as well as family time and studying of course. Most of my friends (adults and teenagers) were equally active.

Shwarmah *is* amazing. But every country has its delicious and fatty delicacy (mmm...poutine!). Emirates offers more cheap and healthy alternatives than other places too (mmm...fatoush!).

Health problems can't be blamed on the country - they are personal choices and your opportunities there are as good as anywhere else.

29 January, 2006 01:19  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Must agree with Anna on this one. I am one of those Western expats who doesn't have a big salary OR lots of time off and I still manage to squeeze in rugby and football and an ocassional tennis match...I don't mind the heat because you can force your body to get used to it by intaking lots of electrolytes before you go in the heat. It's all about your personal choices!

29 January, 2006 11:58  
Blogger BuJ said...

sounds miserable

05 February, 2006 04:57  
Blogger Nyoks said...

in my case ive been sentenced to "BIG" by my good old friend going by the name GENETICS

26 April, 2007 17:29  

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