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24 May, 2006

Phat Mo

"I don’t talk about fast cars, booty and bling - you know, calling women bitches and hos… unless they deserve to be called bitches and hos," he says.

Meet one of the UAE's first rappers, Phat Mo. His debut song Oh! is already getting airplay on local radio:

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
What's yo name
What's yo game
What is that yo wearing
Put J-Lo to shame

That's no ho, that's a lady
Pull up at the club in her own Mercedes

Shake that ass!

7Days misses the depth and beauty of this lyrical masterpiece and its unparallelled resonance for our times, showing instead an unkind and unnecessary cynicism: "Yet the big question, of course, is what contribution pampered Dubaians can make in musical genres like rock or rap that fetishise authenticity and struggle?"

Presumably 7Days' own pampered hacks have never suffered the desperate, gruelling struggle of everyday Dubaians to find a parking space for their Hummer outside Dubai Marine Resort; the near-unbearable torment of having to actually queue to get into Boudoir; the sheer, heart-wrenching grief of realising one is wearing yesterday's solid gold, diamond-encrusted bling; and the devasting, tragic sense of loss when ones ho shakes her booty at another pimp?



Blogger samuraisam said...

I'd really like to think that there could be an ounce of fucking originality resonating from that moron's mouth. But unfortunately, it sucks.

At least when I did my rap, I pretended to be russian.

"I speel my drink!!"

24 May, 2006 09:28  
Blogger Lehihamra said...

Yo yo yo
All you muvvers in Pajeros say "Yeah"
And da workers smashing portacabins say "Ho"
Nissan Maxima doing 210 on 311 - Ka-splat!
BMO in DCC gets da Bluetooth - Haram!
All da mullahs in da Sharjah say "No"
And across da Gulf Ahmanejidad say "Gibber"

Word up

24 May, 2006 10:44  
Blogger Dubai Entrepreneur said...

Although he sounds like an idiot, one could hardly read anything for 50 cent and make any more sense of it. Point is, he may be wearing the personality.

It is also worth noting that the beat is not entirely bad at all. There have been Arab rappers for a long time now, but most of which are political in nature. Radio stations here are too politically correct (or completely ignorant of their existence) to play their songs.

24 May, 2006 11:03  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[...] parking space for their Hummer outside Dubai Marine Resort; the near-unbearable torment of having to actually queue to get into Boudoir; the sheer, heart-wrenching grief of realising one is wearing yesterday'ssolid gold, diamond-encrusted bling;[...]


24 May, 2006 16:24  
Blogger Parv said...

mami, u peach it like a tru ho.



24 May, 2006 16:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7 days hacks are pretty spoilt and have huge egos

24 May, 2006 18:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well he won't have to look far for the bitches for his video a trip to cyclone and he will get them !! yo hoe

24 May, 2006 21:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo , all you Jumeriah Janes this ones goes out to you !
you scum with the big bum... you shouldn't wear that cause your a Mum .
hubby is in the cubby with the maid .. looks like he needs an aid . popping the blue pill he still thinks he can drill ... what the hell.. all you muvvers in the range rover ... pull over and toot ya horn cause i ave been around bevore ya were born.

24 May, 2006 21:27  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, it could be worse: Dubai could've discovered country music.

24 May, 2006 21:57  
Blogger psamtani said...

Take out the politics from rap and thats when you get the bullshit that is hip-hop today. I wouldn't expect much more from a Dubai rapper.

Not that I hate the city, I was born there and I love it to death; but I've met few people in Dubai who can think for themselves, the culture just doesn't encourage it. Have a listen to any of the truly gifted hip-hop artists - Kanye West, Damian Marley, Lauryn Hill - and you'll realize that their genius is as much intellectual as it is musical. I can't see that coming out of a city where driving Ferraris around Diyafah road is considered the high point of life.

That said, living in poverty is not essential for rapping about it - but understanding the position of the poor is - and thats not going to happen in a city where our labourers are treated like cattle.

Great blog btw.

24 May, 2006 22:27  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wots next... a rock band of dishdashes saying dont smoke weed...

24 May, 2006 22:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This this is so lame it deserves to be turned into an extremely annoying ringtone in keeping with dxb tradition.
.amr , .3gp and .mp3 versions are in the zip archive. Feel free to annoy people with your new abnoxious and slightly talentless ringtone.

25 May, 2006 01:31  
Blogger Mohamed Elzubeir said...

I don't think it's fair to say that just because people are in Dubai, they no longer can be creative.

Hish produces music that is worth listening to.. wish the radio would give music like this some airtime:

* Everything Else
* The Watchman

25 May, 2006 02:23  
Blogger LadyOnTheTop said...

hey guys, cut some slack, there is someone came out to rap and got airtime in this ALMOST none existing of artisitcal creativity and talent city, not bad. maybe one day dubai will be known for some real talents, not only for its mega size projects or stock crashes.

I have been here some years and i was very happy and proud when that sheikh ( sorry forgot his name) won the gold medel in Olympic shooting. When u live in a place for long enough, u just have it inside u no matter u like it or not.

25 May, 2006 09:56  
Blogger Shaper85 said...


I was happy for the sheikh but it doesn't really reflect well on the UAE when the only UAE national Olympic competitor is a member of the royal family who probably has an army of imported trainers and facilities to help them get to an Olympic level.
I guess I'd be more impressed if it was someone who didn't have it so easy; it makes their achievement all that more worthwhile.

25 May, 2006 11:34  
Blogger LadyOnTheTop said...

true. but if i have all the best trainers in the world, i wouldnt be able to make anywhere near the pre-qualification level of any of the Olympic games. He's got what it takes. It doesnt make it any lesser achievment he is a sheikh.

the other locals, they r busy with ..we all know dont we ? so i guess to achieve almost in anything in their life be it scholorship or sports is not on their mind.

I am off now enjoy my half day off today and tomorrow. and i wonder what will happen after Sep1st when gov all have fri sat off.

have a good weekend ya all !

25 May, 2006 12:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi all, in different subject
Who is BADR JAFAR? that hired out all 18 floors of the Burj Al Arab for the 72-hour party for Naomi compbell birthday,
According to Google, Badr Jafar does not actually exist Rather, Jafar is an imaginary boyfriend

25 May, 2006 14:42  
Blogger Hello said...

Straight outta Sonapur - 50 Fils

Yo call me a camel cos I've got the hump;
With living like an animal in a workers' dump;
Sheikhs say labour rights are more haram than pork;
That's why we had to smash up Naboodah Laing O'Rourke;
Now the dishdash face the backlash from the subcontinental trash;
Bussed in at 5am to slog so you can pocket the cash;
But the party's over Sheikh Mo - look here comes the ILO;
And we're gonna get fired, marching down Sheikh Zayed;
Cos Keralite labourers are outta control;
So just cos I'm here rappin don't mean I'm cool like rasta;
Fuck this new slavery man give me some fucking wasta!

25 May, 2006 14:57  
Blogger Shaper85 said...


Sorry, I don't buy that - if you were born into royalty and didn't have any obligations, you could do anything you wanted to because you could afford to hire the best of the best to help you.


That is great! Put it to music and post a link to it here!

25 May, 2006 15:39  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Freelance - that is BRILLIANT. God I wish I had managed to write something like that.

I'd love to reblog it, but after what happened the last time I reblogged a satirical poem, I might have to chicken out :(

However, there is always email...

25 May, 2006 16:30  
Blogger Rock.the.Casbah said...

Respect Freelance.

And this one goes out to all my RAK homies.

(Parental Advisory)

Streets of Julan so fulla big dogs
Too many gangs an' too many thugs

Fights in the night and goats on the street
Kelbas gettin' off to their cell phone beep
This ain't no Khozam, ain't no Nakheel neitha
Here in Julan you gotta fight to get yo shisha

Workin' all day just to buy a samaka
Some dude wants to slam me 'cause my dishdash is azraka
Beauty palours, bi-atch, there goes another sharamouta
And those fuckers from Al Shams, them bitches always tryin' ta loot ya.

So c'mom Gawad, bring ya motha fuckin hoes
You in my Julan now bitch, that's right, you kamato'zd.

26 May, 2006 10:18  
Blogger kingfisher said...

rhymes with
for a reason

26 May, 2006 20:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Freelance :

If you are willing to sing that ,(or anyone) I can edit in some music and will be more than willing to host it outside the UAE for streaming it to the people.

email the mp3 to --> click [at] click [dot] removed [dot] us

26 May, 2006 21:10  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

According to Gulf News 70% of respondents said they had been turned away because of their race in Dubai nightclubs

27 May, 2006 12:44  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Lady on Top, it was Sheikh Ahmed.

Sharper, his only ‘trainer’ was the Jebel Ali Shooting range, where he practiced non-stop for years and years prior to earning this metal.

I have been blessed to get the opportunity to shoot with him there, along with my family, 9 or 10 years ago and I happen to know that this has been his life-long hobby. (Just as it could be for any non-sheikh).

‘if you were born into royalty and didn't have any obligations, you could do anything you wanted to because you could afford to hire the best of the best to help you’

I wish you’d state your source while making such obtuse implications. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for some royal-non-obligated-person allowing it.

And about the post… I’m thinking there are a few ‘creative’ aspects Dubai’s society would shine brighter for than ‘hard-core-gangsta-rap-duplicates’. There are some fantastic local photographers, painters, and even writers here. Let us not forget actors! The UAE is FULL of actors in every day life! The problem is; many of them don’t have or know where to get the platform they need to expand or nourish these talents.

My bet, Arab gangsta rap isn’t going very far. The only non-black rapper who made it big is a lyrical genius; who was brought up in a predominately black neighborhood: Eminem. I highly doubt you’ll find a Dubain with an amount of talent and experience to actually get him further than Arab airwaves.

27 May, 2006 16:05  
Blogger Shaper85 said...

@tainted female

First of all, its Shaper, not "Sharper".

Secondly, please shut the fuck up about some "royal-non-obligated-person" allowing me to stay - as if the UAE didn't need expats; that would be the day! And its not like anyone can stay indefinitely without a reason so maybe you can stop being a bitch and using that as an arguement for me to be obsequious, as if it ever was one.

If I was a royal who could choose to do anything in the world without a care in the world, I would do something I liked, like sheikh Ahmed did, without working to earn a living to support my hobby. Hes taleneted at what he does, but you cannot deny he has certain advantages that give him an edge over the usual Olympic competitor.

27 May, 2006 23:05  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Expatriates, the UAE needs. Expatriates like you, it does not.

Little advice… Big, nasty, meaningless words never win a debate. Try something more intelligent next time.

28 May, 2006 16:18  
Blogger Shaper85 said...

You're probably right; maybe I should just arrogantly pontifcate on what the UAE needs/does not need like you have attempted to do.

That said, I do know for a fact that the UAE government doesn't want locals to marry expatriates, but that didn't stop you from getting through, now did it, even though the UAE doesn't "need" people like you?

28 May, 2006 18:34  
Blogger marwan said...


Someone needs to have your baby.


28 May, 2006 21:24  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Well I’ll be fucked, you got me again!

The fact that I married a national does make your initial point more reliable; even outweighs the fact that I know this man, while you do not!

You’re not the dumb cunt; I am! Because as you mentioned neither of us is needed here and though my ‘crime’ against the UAE government isn’t nearly as righteous as your malicious lying or assumed facts and probably won’t have me banned should I not choose to hide myself behind some pseudo-blogging account, it is still heinous and I should be severely punished.

How did I fail to see that ALL Olympic metal winners are privileged? I now agree that if, and that’s a small if, a champion should one day come from a poor family or torturous background should we show admiration and respect for their achievement.

Your arrogant hypocrisy has once again made me nauseous and I’m reminded that you are always right; and thus there’s no point in conversing with you.

29 May, 2006 08:23  
Blogger samuraisam said...

tainted: check your email.

29 May, 2006 09:21  
Blogger Shaper85 said...

Well I'm glad you've seen then light. And that nausea could be STD related, "tainted" female. Cheers!

29 May, 2006 10:07  
Blogger Jassim said...

What's yo name
What's yo game
What is that yo wearing

Gaaaa >< ! was this guy rapping from the 80ies.


30 May, 2006 17:28  
Blogger Del said...

psamtani said...
living in poverty is not essential for rapping about it - but understanding the position of the poor is - and thats not going to happen in a city where our labourers are treated like cattle.

Perhaps this is where the finest, hard core rap music will finally emerge:
MC Bangla and the Not-So-Phat Crew

31 May, 2006 11:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Sweet Lawd Almighty .. an Arab K-Fed.

That's almost as bad as Paris Hilton rapping. On second thought, no it's not.

05 June, 2006 16:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what kind of site is this?

13 June, 2006 11:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the person who said that Badr H. Jafar doesn't exist, he is Director of Project Development at Crescent Petroleum.

He is alive and well.

18 July, 2006 18:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Batti, shout-outs from a native dubai Brethren livin it up in the cold north on the streets of T dot.

"Niga Lexx D
What you doing up a tree?
You fronting like a gangster,
but you really just a prankster, hidding like a young kitty cat,
up a tree.
Nigga Lexx D, come get close to me,
we gonna get high up on these trees.
And if a trip may accour where you hit the floor, gangster don't look at me, you're the one fronting not me.
Bin Nana
you know you wanna
but the ood with its dood won't let you off the food so you could drop a dime till you remember how to rhyme, is it in you, bin nana,
from the sheikh to the shah to the president and the hisbullah you know its in you cuase you bin nana"

22 November, 2006 13:48  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

continueing from the previous post now that I have the smoke out the way, my real reason for writting in this blog is not about Lexx D but about the comment on expats.
I'm a native from Dubai, Last name Fikree, first name Sami. My middle name is Abdul Wahed Mohamed Saleh. I was born 4th jan 1982. My father worked in Jebal Ali as head of personnell. I was lucky to go to a british school from grade 7-11 after finishing my GCSE's I went to college in LA, yes at 16, and placed in the 91% of californians. I suddenly had an urgue to learn everything so I read books after books on how to make everything from asprins to hardcore green yard rxns. I then moved to toronto canada where I was accepted into University of toronto. I got a 3.7 in my first year and with that I got a scholorship from abu-dhabi.
Then all of a sudden my account was placed on hold. This was 2002. It is now 2006. My accounts are still on hold. I have made dozens of calls asking washington (who take care of my scholorship) and calls to abu-dhabi asking for plane tickets so I can return home, but no avail. So its been 4 years where I live in the "Ghetto" working as a bouncer and a grocery clerk all because an institution run by expats is in control of my scholorship.
What do you have to say to that?

22 November, 2006 14:12  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Anonymous - I am interested in your story. Can you email me? [secretdubai] at gmail.

22 November, 2006 14:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you so interested why don't you do a little research. I gave my name and a secondary school refrence, dubai college. Better yet, ask the british captain Higgins, he knows everything about everyone.

23 November, 2006 07:45  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no email account. I hate email

23 November, 2006 07:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Learn ya akhy and ikra everything, be ignorent to no one and nothing and remember Japan was in quarantine for 200 years by orders of the emp and maybe you won't end up like me.

23 November, 2006 07:57  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I was interested in your story for your sake, in case you wanted to be put in touch with conventional media, for example. I'm afraid I don't know who Higgins is either.

23 November, 2006 07:57  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


28 February, 2007 07:16  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


28 February, 2007 07:16  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i could only laugh at the idea that an arab rapper would rise from the streets of dubai..if hes not busy shopping at lui vuitton and milkin money from his local name.. given that the origins of rap is nothing more than spoken poetry..and in a city where media is censcored beyong belief..and the most pg13 rated websites are blocked.. how is one to actually say anything meaningful and truthfull ... where the only thing allowed is to drive your expensive cars in jammed traffic ... its sad and funny at the same time....Dubai needs to learn how to give rights to the people first before u try to create artist that can speak their mind.. peace.

24 July, 2007 12:34  

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