United American Emirates
"UAE - that's the United American Emirates, right?"
No, not quite. But there's no point trying to disillusion an earnest American when one is trying to smuggle 10,000 iPhones under a borrowed marquee-size dishdash and pass the metal detector unapprehended.
America is indeed the land of the free: free (or practically free) communications. The sweet ease of being able to access Skype.com and videochat with friends and family overseas without having hordes of angry TRA officials banging on ones window waving camel whips.
The sheer delight of being able to make a two minute international phone call that don't cost more than a labourer's annual pay packet.
And the general joy of being able to access any website at any time at a speed light years faster than a lame carrier pigeon ferrying 1s and 0s back and forth from ones computer to Etishite.
So while America may have a president so unpopular that one can currently buy a calendar in Borders to count the days until he leaves office, at least people have the freedom to express their loathing and the communications to convey it.
Whereas in the sandlands, according to the UAE Publications Law Chapter 7 Article 76, it is actually forbidden to "blemish" the president of any "friendly state". Which means that as the US is a UAE ally, we may only express loving praise for George W Bush and the wonderful progress he has made in Iraq and for world security in general.
So perhaps it really is the United American Emirates after all.
No, not quite. But there's no point trying to disillusion an earnest American when one is trying to smuggle 10,000 iPhones under a borrowed marquee-size dishdash and pass the metal detector unapprehended.
America is indeed the land of the free: free (or practically free) communications. The sweet ease of being able to access Skype.com and videochat with friends and family overseas without having hordes of angry TRA officials banging on ones window waving camel whips.
The sheer delight of being able to make a two minute international phone call that don't cost more than a labourer's annual pay packet.
And the general joy of being able to access any website at any time at a speed light years faster than a lame carrier pigeon ferrying 1s and 0s back and forth from ones computer to Etishite.
So while America may have a president so unpopular that one can currently buy a calendar in Borders to count the days until he leaves office, at least people have the freedom to express their loathing and the communications to convey it.
Whereas in the sandlands, according to the UAE Publications Law Chapter 7 Article 76, it is actually forbidden to "blemish" the president of any "friendly state". Which means that as the US is a UAE ally, we may only express loving praise for George W Bush and the wonderful progress he has made in Iraq and for world security in general.
So perhaps it really is the United American Emirates after all.
Labels: censorship, politics
50 Comments:
I love Bush!
People always "misunderestimate" him although he likes to "put food on his family" and he is the only one earth who thinks "people and fish can coexist peacefully".
You gotta love him!
Whoops! You had some camel dudes cleaning your windows again this morning with a camel whip? LOL.
So while these dudes were cleaning your windows, you had the time to misinterpret the UAE Publications Law in that it is "actually" forbidden to "blemish" the president of any "friendly state" - and your eyesight tells you that's the US of A, right? When you're reading the UAE Publications Law?
Great. Your eyesight caters to the lowest common denominator, and I hope Bush isn't reading this coz he's sure gonna have a lot to say about it, that is, if he can even string a sentence of English together without taking time out of his agenda to spreading democracy in Eye-raq, and the world for that matter.
Here's the translated clause as I was given it:
Article 76
No article blemishing the president of an Arab, Islamic or any other friendly state will be published. It is also prohibited to publish any material that causes agitation to relations between the UAE and other Arab, Islamic and friendly countries.
Make of that what you will. Maybe the Arabic original is substantially different, maybe not.
As for "friendly country" - the Americans certainly think so, as does the UAE government.
"It is also prohibited to publish any material that causes agitation to relations between the UAE and other Arab, Islamic and friendly countries."
And there you said it, dear friend.
Your blog does nothing but spread hatred towards the "UAE" & "Arabs" - and the "material" you publish causes nothing but "agitation to relations between the UAE and other Arab, Islamic and friendly countries."
Well, if you don't like it, imaginate, you can always fuck off to some other cyber home. With all my blessings ;)
go dubya go! isn't there like a hall of fame (or shame) for being the dumbest president ever?!
sd, are you on your monthly cycle or something? what's with all the personal responses? I'm flattered.
Now if you tell me to fuck off from your blog and ask me not to comment again, I won't. That's freedom of speech, I guess!
But if you haven't expressly asked me to permanently fuck off coz you don't like my opinions, then I won't.
You got a problem with me being here, then I'll happily respect your "blessings" and fuck off with a capital F, but so far, you haven't made your wishes clear ;)
OK here's the deal imaginate.
First you make a snidey comment acccusing me of "misinterpreting" the UAE press law, and also suggesting I am misinterpreting US-UAE allegiances.
I supply you actual quote, as well as quotes relevant to US politics, and you ignore the fact that I've just proved my point and proved your snide allegations wrong, and instead turn it round into yet another attack directed at my entire blog.
I have no problem if you hold different opinions to me. (You only have to look at all the comments I approve from Al Rep and others to see that I welcome debate). But I do have a problem with you attacking me and my motives personally, in your snide, ignorant, Arab-offenderati manner.
So you're either really stupid, or a nasty piece of work, or both. Either way I really don't want you around, so yes, please leave permanently.
hmmm.. it's a good post.. but a shame to read about the "camel whip" and all other racist and rude remarks by the two ladies.. hmm
we achieve more by talking than by insulting one another.
i guess there's more as usual than meets the eyes..
One more day with Bush, is one more wasted.
SD, you've got to forgive people like i*maginate for their moronic statements and their attack-when-you-have-no-intelligent-answers policy. The reason they turn out like they do is because that's how they are brought up. Imagine feeding children with hatred and teaching them that everything West is evil and anyone who doesn't believe in their religion is an infidel. Of course its totally OK to lick white arse to get a visa to UK and US for education and treatment :-)
i*, Please don't leave.
We do love a bitch fight!
The only people who think Bush is dumb are people who are dumber than him.
Proof? Think about it: The man has TWO Ivy League degrees, which is one more than Clinton, Gore, or Kerry, correct? The few people smarter than Bush are ALSO smart enough to realize that it is ridiculous to call him dumb.
Yeah, Bush is so dumb that the U.S. economy is at record highs, unemployment is at record lows, and the most powerful European states have just ousted anti-U.S. leaders in favor of pro-U.S. ones. If Bush is stupid, what is smart? Oh wait -- Iraq? Smartest use of 3,650 troops in the history of warfare. Want to argue -- name a better use.
Although that sounds like an absurd law, I'm pretty sure no media outlet has ever been prosecuted for it. (The reality of course is that if a media player offends they'll be slapped under the table and it'll never even go to court.)
But the problem's not this law - it's no odder than quaint UK rules allowing taxi drivers to urinate against their back tyre, or Freemen of London to drive geese over Tower Bridge. They may be on the statute book but that doesn't mean they're actually practised.
Just thought I'd point out that a light-year is a measure of distance, not speed.
It is the distance that light will travel in one year (in a vacuum that is).
Just thought I'd point out that a light-year is a measure of distance, not speed.
Lol I knew when I wrote it that there was bound to be a murmur from Pedant's Corner ;) (Where I'm ususally lurking when on other people's blogs).
I actually couldn't think of a faster sounding phrase at the time, but if you can supply one, I will happily amend.
H in A says
Nice going SD. Keep it coming.
As for morons who get personal when a system or blind ritual is criticized...you know where they can go to get themselves off. And imagine(ate)...their whole belief thing was apparently started off to put an end ot ritualistic beliefs...and see where they have reached today. Kings of ritual, preprogramed robots.
I fail to understand why people take things personally.
So much can be discovered, uncovered through intelligent debate rather than shit facing any label.
Take the current instance. I don’t see myself being pissed off for any reason, and if I were, I’d counter this label’s poster with concrete facts, set the record straight but under no circumstances would I pounce to demean anybody. That’s too immature, and reckless. Serves no purpose!
I’m glad, you finally found an opportunity to put to good use an appropriate phrase we use when we say ‘right back at you’ with your ‘Well, if you don't like it, imaginate, you can always fuck off to some other cyber home. With all my blessings ;)’. It’s just that we do it by using a much heavier than the ‘f’ word – LOL.
I fail to understand why people take things personally.
The imaginate person does this shit all over my blog and other blogs all the time, always the same whiny, anti-western stuff, and the presumption that any expat who ever dares to criticise anything must therefore hate and despise all muslims/Arabs/locals etc etc.
Imaginate is not interested in debate, they just want to whinge and bitch and needle, and frankly I'm jack of it happening on my blog. And it is personal: "you had the time to misinterpret" "your eyesight caters to the lowest common denominator" "your blog does nothing but spread hatred" - that's not debate, those are just insults.
I suppose a more subtle approach would just be to delete/never approve all their comments, but that feels kind of untransparent and at least this way it gets a message out to similar types.
Screw all the neocons!
People always "misunderestimate" him
Yeah, people always do that.. but you know what they say in Alabama: "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ......oops!"
rhamilton said US economy at an all time high
http://www.federalbudget.com/
Yeah right borrow shitloads of money and live like a king.. Now where have i seen this lifestyle Before?
Screw all the neocons!
Are you accusing your own leaders? Because if anything, their hold to lifetime power and robbing their people’s right to freedom in terms of free speech, free elections, and a free thought process, also epitomizes, in my opinion, new-conservative thinking, no?
Think about it!
Since i*maginate has a link on her own blog to this one, where she has named this as Secret Dubai Shitpat would surely give SD an instant dislike to her, nevermind her coming in and tossing insults around.
God, a cat fight! That too between 2 of my most liked women bloggers! Sorry for endorsing you two. I don't make a very good brand ambassador :D
I can agree with both imaginate and SD here. I completely understand imaginate's take as a patriotic Emarati and I can also appreciate SD's underlying motive for this post.
It is a sad fact that while this whole Salman Rushdie knighthood balderdash was going on, some noted shuyookh of Emarat were hanging out with the Queen (God save us from her. When will poor Charles ever get his shot at royalty?) while she honored the fiendish Salman. At right about the same time, Padma Lakshmi (I believe that is her name), ended her marriage with Mr. Salman. Salman mian claiming that she was getting chummy with other chaps. So Queen Elizabeth II awarded him knighthood while his wife was spending her nights with some other boys who were apparantly more manly than our dear Rushdie. Bah, I digress.
It's a sad fact that most (if not all) of the Muslim leaders are allied with Western leaders while public opinion is diametrically opposed to this unholy alliance. But in defense of the UAE leadership, they are much better than any of the others. Yes, they might not be as vocal, but they sure maintain more balance than some other leaders. The invitation to Ahmadinejad after Dick (his name says it all) Cheney's visit being a case in point.
It was a clever way of stating to the Americans, "Don't expect us to bend over backwards for your ambitions in this part of the World."
OK, I forgot to add, can SD and imaginate please kiss and makeup?
Boys, behave yourselves :P
H in A says:
Kiss and make up with Imaginate...are you stupid? Why would anyone want to have a conversation with imaginate, she is stupid,opinionated, and unable to see any points of view except her brainwashed conspiracy theories. she thinks she is winning the war by spreading her shit, just makes her and her clan show up for what they really are..programmed robots. she knows she is right, and everyone who does not agree with her is wrong, so why even enter into a debate with her.she should stick to gulf news, makes her people look good. blogs are meant for differing opinions, i dont think she realises that. she only want to hear her clans voice. wish she could go live in iran or saudi or afghanistan for a while in the black sack instead of wasting our time. she, and some of the others who haunt this site is the real darkness at the end of the tunnel, not the light. we are better rid of them, there is nothing to learn from them other than be scared of the beings we share this planet with.
Hey Al Republican,
Good to see you have dragged the Salman Rushdie issue into this post as well.
I guess you support those attempted car bombings as well.
-RB
Out of Topic.. but relevant to Censorship!!!!
Thanks to a campaign by Gulf News.. Another website has been blocked this afternoon, and UAE made a safer place for children, students, girls, wives and husbands .......
Quote
A UAE national, who declined to be named, said Orkut was being used for 'immoral activities'.
Unquote
so here's the headline..
Orkut.com 'being used for immoral activities'
http://www.gulfnews.com/nation/Society/10136441.html
Here's the sober response from google
Orkut users should report offensive material - Google http://www.gulfnews.com/nation/Society/10136779.html
And it is too serious that Gulf News has written an Editorial today on this issue !!!
http://www.gulfnews.com/opinion/editorial_opinion/nation/10136650.html
As if there are no other serious issues to talk about.!!!!
Ironically, Gulf News has an online poll on its front page which asks us
The moral responsibility for content on social networking websites should rest with:
The individual
The telecom authority
The website owner
and the results talk for themselves.. !!
people proved to be clear headed ..
The individual 69.90%
The telecom authority 8.886%
The website owner 21.20%
May be yahoo,msn, google.. who hosts groups .. will be next.. . lets' wait and see..
"It's a sad fact that most (if not all) of the Muslim leaders are allied with Western leaders while public opinion is diametrically opposed to this unholy alliance."
So true, Al Republican. A very good case in point is General Musharraf, in our own dear Pakistan. He seems hell-bent (really!) on kowtowing to the Bushes. Three cheers for our heroic Saifullahs and Asadullahs at the Lal Masjid, who are stoutly defending our country's international reputation. They rock, and I hope they will soon rule. Then it will truly be the Paradise it was meant to be.
"The invitation to Ahmadinejad after Dick (his name says it all) Cheney's visit being a case in point.
It was a clever way of stating to the Americans, "Don't expect us to bend over backwards for your ambitions in this part of the World."
So true, so true. The wisdom of our Rulers is unsurpassed. It was, I think, also a clever way of saying to Ahmedinejad: "You can keep the Tunbs, but please stay off RAK; we're friends, y'know." Such amazing diplomacy, no?
ORKUT IS BLOCKED !! THANK YOU SANDLORDS & GULF NEWS.
Jozyi-
Yes, Musharraf is taking on each and every institution in Pakistan to establish his writ. From the Judiciray, to the Media, to bombing ex-chief ministers and the religious seminaries - he is targetting everything that comes his way.
Although, let me say this tongue-in-cheek that don't be too hopeful with what the folks at Lal Masjid are doing. I have a lot of respect for them, but they share the blame in this impasse. I have my reasons to believe that this entire Lal Masjid issue is engineered as a PR campaign aimed at showing Musharraf as the savior the West is looking for against extremism in Pakistan. Don't forget the "elections" are just around the corner and this is his only way of legitimizing his stay in power to the Western world. Please also note how just today the government of Pakistan (National Accountability Bureau) has dropped the money-landering cases against Benazir Bhutto. There is definitely something cooking, which will soon be served to the public.
I could be wrong on this, but I just don't have a good feeling about this.
H in A:
Give imaginate a break, man. She is a human being and a woman at that. Give her some respect. Her views might be offensive to you, but to my knowledge she has never come out racist or showed any shades of hate. She simply has a problem with Westerners in Dubai whining all the time (in her view). I dont think you can define that as hate or that we should be "scared of the beings we share this planet with." Such statements are the infant stages of a fascist ideology.
oh c'mon al-rep, you just want to bed i*maginator.
"I have my reasons to believe that this entire Lal Masjid issue is engineered as a PR campaign aimed at showing Musharraf as the savior the West is looking for..."
Of course, of course, I quite agree...it doesn't look quite that good for us, so it must be a conspiracy plan by the other party to make us look bad. You've hit the nail right on the head there! What I can't get over is that those heroic Saifullahs and Asadullahs, who I thought were going to be the saviours of our nation and civilisation, are in fact two-faced turncoat bastards serving Musharraf's agenda. Oh, my word! Or, could it possibly be that, in their pure, child-like innocence, as they fire away with their Kalashnikovs, they are unaware that they are a part of his grand scheme to become popular in the West?
The man has TWO Ivy League degrees
You need to be introduced to the concept of "legacies" in the Ivy Leagues.
These schools have always saved a few spots for the children of the Royal Families of America, in exchange for the copious flow of donations. Shrub's degrees are meaningless, and certainly not "earned". BTW, while you're at it, you might want to look up the definition of "Gentleman's C".
Shrub is dumber than a bag of hammers.
Jozyi:
You should know that each and every militant wing present today has its roots with intelligence agencies of multiple countries. Some of these militants spiralled out of the control of these agencies post Afghan jihaad era.
Maulana Abdul Azeez is a good man, but he has a history of links with the Pakistani Intelligence. Anyone who knows anybody inside the higher echelons of the ISI will tell you how he has played a focal role in pressing ahead the "strategic depth" motive of the Pakistani Intelligence in Afghanistan just prior to the Taliban take over.
I suppose you must have seen how Maulana Abdul Azeez backed out of the "fight" yesterday? Does it come as a surprise? It did to me, but it only confirmed the reservations I had for the man. In this entire Lal Masjid saga, AA (Abdul Azeez) was the key man in starting the whole problem with the Pakistani government in the first place. His younger brother, Abdul Rasheed, has since been trying to reason with AA to stop this nonsense, which was quite clearly a ploy by the military for some ulterior motives.
But look at what has happened now! AA has done just as the intelligence wanted him to leaving his brother cold in a cause that he didnt even believe in the first place! Abdul Rasheed is now stuck. He never wanted to be part of this row, but now that his elder brother has exposed himself for the farce he is, AR is stuck with nowhere to go. He is now pleading to the media to come and take one final interview with him. I am hoping some media outlet complies and the truth comes out.
I have a feeling if he is given a chance to speak he will expose the entire sham. Can the Pakistani military buy him out or will they have to bomb him to bits so that the truth is buried with him? Let's wait and see.
By the way, Jozyi, I am not counting on the Saifullahs and Asadullahs to save Pakistan. The true saviors at this moment in time are the lawyers of Pakistan who have mobilized the entire nation against the military.
The Chief Justice of Pakistan is the man who has taken on the might of the Pakistani military. The political mullahs like Maulana Fazlur Rahman are known to all as marrionettes of the Pakistani army. As political analysts correctly quirp about Fazlur Rahman, he is the "secret weapon" of the military establishment.
As they also rightly point out, MMA (Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal) should be renamed to Mullah Military Alliance. After all, it were these mullahs who gave musharraf the legitimacy (17th ammendment)of being the president and COAS in direct violation of the constitution of Pakistan. They have time and time again proved that they are working with the military.
Not all mullahs are saifullahs and not all saifullahs are mullahs :)
Al Rep: your intimate knowledge of the inner intentions of Maulana Abdul Azeez and his younger brother, Abdul Rasheed, are truly amazing. At the end of the day, it's all a ploy by Musharraf and the military, to become heroes in the eyes of the West. It's just so depressing, that, in his childlike innocence, Abdul Rasheed the noble lion of Allah, got talked into playing Musharraf's game, and still hasn't seen through his brother's diabolical scheme. What's more, I believe he's still encouraging his innocent students to face a certain death; in fact, they're busy preparing their wills. Funny thing is, despite seeing his brother surrender (dressed as a girl--just as Musharraf told him to), he still hasn't caught on, has he?
Not to worry, though, our fearless Saifullahs and Assadullah still inside the mosque will become martyrs, so they can go straight to heaven and join the 72 virgins eagerly waiting for them. Haha! What can Musharraf do about that, eh?
Your dissection of the whole issue is tremendously astute! Only Allah could have given you such wisdom. No matter what the outcome of all this, I am sure we can all look to you for an analysis to show the real criminal behind all this is Musharraf, who carefully engineered the whole standoff.
I have reason to believe it was the military that was secretly issuing instructions to the Maulana to have the students enter video stores and burn the videos, kidnap evil people and steal police weapons! Remember, Al-Qu'ran tells us not to steal! The poor little kids didn't realise they were just Musharraf's stooges!
There is hope for our nation after all!
aw c'mon! this ain't the United American Emirates. This is the United Sub-con Emirates!
al rep & jozyi
not that we are really that interested in your pakistan self destructing.but just an observation, it is about time, it is only the chicken coming home to roost. when you have been training and arming militants to go forth and fight for the last decades, including in afghanistan and india, it is only natural that the dogs will turn against its master at home some time.
Anon @ 1100 hours:
I hope you don't forget the Capitalist West that also trained and armed them to the teeth during the war against Communism.
In any event, you do make a valid point. Where I would disagree with you is about this being a recent occurrence. The people in the Pashtun and Central Asian belt have had a long history of daring warriors. From Shah Abdali, Sher Shah Suri, to even Nadir Shah Afshar and Mahmoud Ghaznavi et al, these have all been daring conquerors who have played a major role in shaping the history of this region.
As Allamah Iqbal said about Afghanistan, it is the heart of Asia and if the heart is at unrest, so will the entire body (Asia). Ponder over these words of the great poet and think why the urgent need to settle matters in Afghanistan WITHOUT FOREIGN INTERFERENCE :)
i dont see any settlement, with or without foreign interference. problem with you guys is you always need a western bogey to blame. west tries to interfere in so many countries, how come only you guys spread your legs for it. and then blame the manipulator. if you know they are so, why let them in still? dont blame others for your lack of will and national spine.
you in pakistan have lost a generation already to mad jihadi philosophy, and the current one growing up is even worse, they are even more rabid. so looks like it si going down a vortex, nobody enjoys seeing this in another country. but it is a reality. and i dont see any way out considering how the faith is being taught there.
as for old glories of your old kings...times have changed my friend. nobody gives a shit for afghan or pathan kings. today is ruled by internet and money, not sword power and poems. those who live on old glories will die singing of it. you want to conquer today, live by today, and rule today.
Anon @ 14:51
Well, the tradition of warriors from the Afghans continues to this day. What do you think Mullah Umar is? He set up and ruled Afghanistan for a good few years. Mullah Dadullah and Gulbuddin Hekmatyaar are two other names of great warriors in our times.
Also, Ahmad Shah Masood, the lion of Panjsher is another name that will go down in history. The Russians were NEVER EVER able to penetrate Panjsher due to the brilliance of this warrior (may his soul rest in peace and May Allah forgive his sins).
If you were reading Khaleej Times a couple of days ago, Aijaz Zaka Syed mentioned about the Indian Mutiny of 1857. He also mentioned how 9/11 is playing as a key event that has woken up the Islamic World and you can see for yourself how the seeds of resistance are blooming now. Very much like the Sepoys mutiny led by little known individuals such as Mangal Panday led to the kicking out of the Colonists.
Unfortunately, people don't learn. America is back into the Muslim World just like the British were once. Don't tell us Muslims invited them to Afghanistan or Iraq because that is just pure lies. In any event, now that you are there I guess you are trying for the umpteenth time to "set us straight". Let's see where you guys go this time with this "western talibanization" of yours.
Here's a list of tit-for-tat ops:
Golden Temple, India stormed by Indian Army got (Indira) Gandhi assassinated by her bodguards.
Branch Davidian Ranch in Waco, Texas run by David Koresh stormed by ATF & Bureau motivated Tim McVeigh to bring down the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahama, claiming 160+ lives.
Red Mosque, Pakistan fiasco still unfolding. Any guesses on who'll take the fall?
So, SD when you are told, "if you dont like it, leave" you get really agitated and say you have the right to criticise things about UAE and its laws that you dont like, but when someone like imaginate does not agree with you, you go one step ahead, you abuse imaginate and say, "Well, if you don't like it, imaginate, you can always fuck off to some other cyber home. With all my blessings ;)"
Now who is the real hypocrite?
@ Anonymous at 11 July, 2007 10:52, please start from comment 2 of this post and work your way down.
I commend SD's patience with this person. To understand, you'll have to track back to earlier posts to see the kind of comments this person has left on SD's posts. While you're at it, don't forget to look up this person's comments on the UAE Community Blog as well.
Furthermore, go down to this person's blog and see for yourself the title she has allocated to SD and three other bloggers.
I'd say, if you disagree with someone and their views, counter them and their views intelligently but refrain from a personal attack. Remember, getting personal means getting messy.
As for this, "if you dont like it, leave" line. Until this line comes out in form of a Decree from the UAE Government, everyone here will stay put.
Make of that, what you can!
Wow... America is a wonderful country... you can access to any website.... you can express your opinions ......
I wonder... if your country is so wonderful and (uncensored)
Why do you still want to stay in the sandland???
go back to your beloved sweet president ^_^
Secretdubai:
Don't ban i*maginate.
She may not be thinking with her head, but surely she did not say anything outrageous warranting this treatment?
Why not ignore stupid accusations? Come on, if you are that sensitive then you have to quit blogging altogether.
Imaginate verbally attacked SD. Imaginate may be very ignorant and opinionated, but she happens to be very good in bed.
My wishes are to keep I* away from the blogs and in the bedroom more where she performs more exceptionally.
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