RAK a rogue state?

Rocky Ras Al Khaimah has always been the most fascinating of the seven emirates, and now it's being branded a rogue state:

RAK is a strategically important part of the UAE, 50 miles from Iran across the Strait of Hormuz, through which 17 million barrels of oil are shipped each day. Sheikh Khalid, 66, was ousted by his father and brother as de facto leader in 2003.

The campaign alleges the regime presents an international security threat because the kingdom has become "a rogue state and gateway for Iran", allowing the shipment of weapons, including nuclear weapons parts, drugs and blood diamonds as well as military personnel and terrorists from al-Qaida and other networks.

How incredibly exciting.


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Overheard at the Hiltonia

It's alright - emergency over - everyone can come out from their concrete bunkers and air raid shelters. Because that recent terror warning from the British Government turns out to be just a misheard chat between two drunk blokes in a pub:

A diplomatic source said the warning was issued based on a personal conversation between the two Arab men in the Hemingway bar in the Hiltonia Hotel in Abu Dhabi. The bar is frequented by hundreds of Britons and Americans.

One drunk man told the other in jest: "If someone wants to scare all these people and make them run away, just say there is a bomb. A belt bomb will kill hundreds of them."

The source said it is believed that Britons sitting near the men overheard the conversation and thought it was serious.

What a relief! Because as everyone knows, foreign governments routinely post overheard inebriated pub chatter as Official Terror Warnings. Thank god for the rapid propaganda amendments from the local UAE press to suppress sort everything out!

Meanwhile the high alert warning remains on the UK Foreign Office website. One would think they might consider amending their own website before tipping off Gulf News.


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UAE terror alert

So the sandlands are now on a "high risk" terror alert, but what does that really mean? Don't go to nightclubs? Avoid cinemas? Avoid fellow infidels? Don't go to church?

BBC Security correspondent Frank Gardner quotes British officials as saying the information comes from a number of sensitive sources and they are working hard with the Emirati authorities to address it.

"There is a high threat from terrorism," an official travel advice notice for the country said. "We believe terrorists may be planning to carry out attacks in the UAE."

The threat of terror has always been a large sinister bear in the woodshed for Dubai's growing tourism industry. The challenge faced by the Dishdashes-That-Be is how to keep up the safe image while not being seen to misinform the public or create disproportionate fear.

Traditionally terror threats in Dubai are met with media blackouts. Anyone remember the possible attempt on a church in Karama in 2005? It took place the same night this deadly bomb went off at a hall in Qatar, amid threats by some splinter terror group that they were targeting churches. We'll never know if there was a genuine attempt in Dubai: chances were it could have been a drunken driver careering badly onto the pavement nearby. Everything was cleared up, hushed up and blotted out.

We can only hope that these shadowy threats remain potential, and that the so far extremely effective UAE anti-terror authorities continue their good work. It is significant that there has been no major incident in the UAE in the past years, while regionally and internationally there have been continued Qaeda-inpsired murders of innocents.

Londoners got straight back on the tube after the attacks there. And that is what sandlanders must do, in their own fashion. The minute one starts living in fear and restricting ones own freedoms, then the extremists have already won.


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Robes of justice

As promised back in January, by Justice Minister Mohammad Bin Nakhira Al Daheri, the laws has been amended to allow women on the UAE bench:

Abu Dhabi: The emirate of Abu Dhabi has appointed its first ever female judge, WAM reported.

The appointment of Khuloud Ahmad Al Dhaheri as a judge in the court of first instance was announced in a decree issued by His Highness Shaikh Khalifa Bin Zayed Al Nahyan,
President of the UAE, Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces and Ruler of Abu Dhabi.

According to WAM she is the first ever female judge in the history of the UAE.


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Reshuffle ruffle

The Economist isn't very impressed with Sheikh Mohammed's recent cabinet shuffle, particularly the moving of Sheikh Lubna Al Qasimi from economy to foreign trade and the ousting of labour minister Dr Al Kaabi, describing it as "a blow to reform in the UAE":

"The cabinet reshuffle announced by the UAE prime minister and ruler of Dubai, Sheikh Mohammad bin Rashid al-Maktoum, has entailed the redeployment of the minister charged with pushing through structural economic reforms and the replacement of the minister of labour, one of the most sensitive portfolios in the government. Sheikh Mohammed said that the changes were aimed at bringing greater consistency, improved efficiency and more rapid development to the operations of the government of the seven-member federation. It is as yet unclear whether this will entail a review of the flagship policies of the previous administration, which was appointed in 2004 (and modified slightly two years later) or a drive to implement the existing policy programme."

The Economist is worried that Sheikha Lubna's plans to scrap the notorious "agency laws" - which gives UAE companies near-unbreakable monopoly rights on foreign brands - will go by the wayside. Likewise her attempts to abolish the 49% limit on foreign ownership. The magazine notes that these "may not be pursued with the same vigour as before."

Dr Ali Al Kaabi is well known for some of his heroic attempts at reform. He paid impromptu visits to labour camps, threatened non-paying construction firms, hauled his own staff over the coals for lounging around and doing nothing, tried to force transparency among ministry officials, planned to get labour agencies shut down (the reality is that indentured labour suits the UAE just fine - they could have fixed it years ago if they actually wanted to) and took various actions towards improving the plight of labourers.

Now he's out. Still, there are another two women in the cabinet, which has to be seen as some sign of progress.

Dubai sued for $1 billion

The announcement of the one billion dollar deal in 2005 between Capital Partners and the Dubai government was heralded as being a major move towards a free trade agreement with the US. A move which would have seen FDI - foreign direct investment - spiral upwards. But more than two years later Capital Partners is suing the Dubai government for one billion US dollars. And of course there's still no FTA:

"The developer, Capital Partners, had in July 2005 made what was planned to be one of the largest foreign investments in the region’s business hub, when it announced plans for River Walk, a mixed-use $1bn project in the busy internet business park located on prime land near the trunk of the reclaimed Palm Island.

But the deal soon turned sour amid recriminations over the legal title of the plot on which the US developer planned to build apartments, hotels and offices.

Basically, Tecom never owned the land they tried to sell, it "belonged to another government entity". Tecom claims that the contract was cancelled because Capital Partners "failed to meet the tight payment schedule".

However obviously CP couldn't legally make the next payment once they found out there was an issue with the land ownership, as they they have investors and are bound by US financial regulations.

The case is being run in the new Dubai International Arbitration Centre. But if that fails, there's always the US courts, since the Dubai government/royal family owns billions worth of assets there that could be seized if the judgement goes against them.

Of course what's extra ridiculous about all this is that every inch of sand and every government department is owned by Sheikh Mohammed and the Maktoum family, so this whole mess never needed to happen in the first place.

The sovereign's wealth fund

Some time ago an associate working in finance in a certain Gulf state was handling a large investment being made by a supposed national institution. However when the funds transfer documentation arrived, it had no apparent connection in any way to that government institution. There was no reference to it by name anywhere.

Instead, the funds came from a private bank account in an offshore tax haven, identified not even by a name but by a string of obscure initials. The associate eventually worked them out as being the intitials of the names of the children of the ruler of that particular Gulf state.

This is why when the Economist writes that the "biggest worry " of sovereign wealth funds buying up Wall Street is "the potential backlash", they are missing the bigger and arguably more alarming picture. The Economist describes these funds as:

"...the surplus savings of developing countries, known as sovereign-wealth funds, that have proliferated in recent years thanks to bumper oil prices and surging Asian exports."

The reality is that in many Gulf states, all this "surplus savings" is rather the private wealth belonging to the royal family that runs that state, or quite likely a single individual member of that family. There is no proper transparency nor accountability. And this is why we use the term "benevolent dictator": because when a sheikh builds roads and schools and hospitals, it is effectively benevolence. It is his own personal money that he is using to benefit (or bribe) "his" people, not (what should be) their national money that he holds in trust.

Because Gulf states are not democracies, their citizens are not really stakeholders. To put it simply: the prime minister of Norway could not just walk away with all the cash in Norway's massive future fund. It is not his personal money, it belongs to the people of Norway. But in the average Gulf state, that money belongs to the ruling family or just the rule, and he can do with it as he wishes.

Which may, as in the case of Dubai, involve investing in a US gaming company. An interesting choice for the government funds of an Islamic nation where all gambling and casinos are prohibited.

Justice for all

It really is good news week - now UAE women are set to become federal court judges:

The Ministry of Justice is amending judiciary law to allow women to take up positions as judges and prosecutors at the federal level, Mohammad Bin Nakhira Al Daheri, Minister of Justice, told Gulf News on Saturday.

“At present, the law states that only a Muslim man is entitled to assume the position of a judge,” Al Daheri said.

Amazing to think that just over the border in the Evil Kingdom, they're not even allowed to drive.

Happy New Year to the UAE's bidouns

Here's a new year's resolution for the dishdashes-that-be: how about granting citizenship to the thousands of people who have spent the majority of their lives in the UAE? Some of whom were even born there, educated there, entered the workforce there, and have never known any other home.

People like this guy, who wrote the following to Time Out a while back:

"I am so angry - and none of what you said applies to me. I have a heart full of pain, a head full of stress, and I am sick of a place called Dubai. I've been here so long that I am no longer a tourist - not a resident, not a citizen, what am I? Born here, raised here, haven't been anywhere else. Locals keep their distance because they consider me a resident, residents keep their distance because they consider me a citizen, but eventually I disappoint all. Solve that, Sherlock! It's really nothing to do with cheapness, ugliness or being too pretty. I am starting to believe it's something to do with "nationalism", which infects all who come here even when they were never patriotic."

All people are supposedly equal in terms of humanity or in the eyes of God or whatever, but apparently in the UAE some people are more equal than others.

The rich man in his castle

Why is the Red Crescent having to help out Emiratis rather than the multi-trillion dollar rich-as-Croesus UAE government whose sheikhs and their multitude of wives and children must be bathing in liquid gold with oil prices currently close to $100 a barrel?

Dr Salah M. Al Ta'ei, Acting Secretary General said the nine branches in the country will identify the Emirati beneficiaries for the house renovation project.

"We concentrate in renovation or maintenance as the federal and local governments have been successfully providing new houses to the needy under various schemes."

Maybe rather than fitting out your next palaces with solid diamond windows and platinum taps, Sheikh Mohammed and Sheikh Khalifa, you'll instead consider putting a few fils the way of your needy population to buy blankets and curtains.

The Red Crescent can concentrate all its money on the needy in desperately poor, war-torn countries such as Palestine and Sudan.

It's a fucking disgrace that a charity is having to help out the Emirati population, rather than their own government.

The silent sheikhas

While Sheikha Manal bint Mohammed's words on the education of women are encouraging, the fact that one of Sheikh Mohammed's daughters has spoken publicly is far more significant.

Most UAE princesses are completely anonymous to the general public, or play very low-key roles compared to their brothers. In Al Ain museum there is a large Nahyan family tree. It shows the names and photos of all of Sheikh Zayed's nineteen sons. But not one of his daughters is even mentioned, not by photo - fair enough because of cultural taboos about depicting women - nor even by name or number.

Sheikh Zayed was highly progressive when it came to women's rights and education, and his own wife Sheikha Fatima frequently speaks to the media through statements. So it seems all the more sad that his daughters are barely acknowledged: will history even know their names?

Wikipedia certainly doesn't, at the time of writing it didn't even mention Sheikha Fatima or even a "wife", let alone any daughters. Perhaps these women have greater presence in the Arabic language press, but it is sad that western media are not more aware of them.

United American Emirates

"UAE - that's the United American Emirates, right?"

No, not quite. But there's no point trying to disillusion an earnest American when one is trying to smuggle 10,000 iPhones under a borrowed marquee-size dishdash and pass the metal detector unapprehended.

America is indeed the land of the free: free (or practically free) communications. The sweet ease of being able to access Skype.com and videochat with friends and family overseas without having hordes of angry TRA officials banging on ones window waving camel whips.

The sheer delight of being able to make a two minute international phone call that don't cost more than a labourer's annual pay packet.

And the general joy of being able to access any website at any time at a speed light years faster than a lame carrier pigeon ferrying 1s and 0s back and forth from ones computer to Etishite.

So while America may have a president so unpopular that one can currently buy a calendar in Borders to count the days until he leaves office, at least people have the freedom to express their loathing and the communications to convey it.

Whereas in the sandlands, according to the UAE Publications Law Chapter 7 Article 76, it is actually forbidden to "blemish" the president of any "friendly state". Which means that as the US is a UAE ally, we may only express loving praise for George W Bush and the wonderful progress he has made in Iraq and for world security in general.

So perhaps it really is the United American Emirates after all.

Secret of Dubai's success

What is the secret of Dubai's success?

The desert.

[Sheikh Mohammed] said: "It is due to the vast desert spaces of his country, where the mind has the freedom to think, to explore and to dream."

So those of you who guessed oil/cheap expat labour/absolute power were all wrong.

It's sand.

Moulting buzzard

This says everything that ever needed to be said about Arab unity.

Sheikh Mo gets a grip

In a society where criticism is antithetical to local culture, Sheikh Mohammed's recent public censure of several government ministries is unprecedented. It also suggests - like the cancelling of the Jumeirah Beach development project - that public opinion and expert, expat advice is getting through.

The Ministry of Labour has rightly been condemned for its absurdly heavy-handed and misguided approach to Emiratisation, which included the total nationalisation of PROs, secretaries and human resource managers:

"It is very easy to impose Emiratisation. We can do this any time, but what would we gain if we did not provide our youth with the best knowledge, skill and expertise to commensurate with these jobs?" asked His Highness Shaikh Mohammad Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice-President and Prime Minister and Ruler of Dubai.

Something the private sector has been pointing out for ages: what is the benefit to an economy if unfit personnel are hired solely because of their nationality? It means either incompetence and inexperience, or expensive "phantom jobs" - where a lower-paid expat does the real work behind the scenes, with the local taking the credit.

The Ministry of Justice also received a few thunderclaps from the sheikhly hammer:

"I have read the reports of the justice and safety ministerial team and did field trips to the courts and the ministry of justice. I was surprised and expressed my utmost dissatisfaction with what I read and saw. It was living 20 years behind [other ministries]," he said.

Improvements will include the translation of laws into English, a critical step for a country that seeks to operate on a level platform with a English-speaking global business world.

Education also came in for a battering, with standards still appalling low despite huge increases in funding:

"The current status of our education system is compiling huge losses to the UAE and its people."

The criticised ministers are taking the comments on the chin, not that they have much choice. And this is perhaps the deeper import of Sheikh Mohammed's comments. Finally ending the sacrosanct regional culture of "saving face" and the abnegation of personal responsibility that this nearly always entails.

The Vision® is back on track, and UAE society is growing up.

Ladies of learning

The training of 200 women preachers in Dubai is extremely encouraging and significant news.

DUBAI — More than 200 women preachers have attended a two-day training course in preaching. Organised by the Dubai Department of Islamic Affairs and Charitable Activities, in coordination with Manahil Al Khair Islamic Organisation, the course was aimed at enhancing the performance of the women preachers to spread Islamic teachings.

A similar move is underway in Morocco, where the Mourchidat are considered to be crucial in the fight against extremism. There is excellent precedent for this in Islam. The prophet's wife Aisha is considered to be one of the first and most important scholars of Islam, who taught both men and women about the prophet's life and words.

Vote for Dr Meshgan

"Dr Meshgan Al Awar, the director of the Research and Studies Centre at Dubai Police Academy [...] said there was a need to enhance the cultural understanding between Emiratis and expatriate communities in the UAE.

"Suggesting an "open hearts and open minds" policy, Dr Meshgan said that she would propose legislation that would encourage a cultural exchange between the communities. According to her, such a policy would also help maintain the Emirati identity."

About time.

Joyous tidings

Some fantastic news - with the Federal National Council moving towards democracy, Dubai Police Chief Dahi Khalfan Tamim has announced he would like to enter as a speaker:

"I am not looking to be just a member of the FNC … My ambition is to be the speaker of the FNC. I am planning to establish a new system in the FNC. I am convinced that the FNC at the moment is in need of people who have a new way of thinking. I believe I am the only suitable person who can bring changes and development to the FNC."

Lt Gen Tamim is the heroic gentleman who has led the courageous mission against the indecent music videos that pollute the airwaves of the sandlands. Joining the FNC would certainly be a superb boost to his cause, and help safeguard juvenile welfare across the UAE.

End torture now

Today is the International Day in Support of Survivors and Victims of Torture.

Few countries have a clean track record on torture: there are over 150 according to Tassc.org. And the UAE is among them. A recent Amnesty report highlighted:

"...a variety of charges from "incommunicado detention" of suspects, to allegations of "torture and cruel judicial punishments""

It doesn't matter whether torture is worse in country A or more widespread in country B, the fact that it exists anywhere is an abomination. It is no cause for glory that a nation's track record for torture is minimal: it is only a cause of shame that such a record exists at all.

Yes, progress has been made. Camel jockeys have been repatriated, albeit slowly. But there is more to do: here, and throughout the whole world. Because we are created equal, yet thousands of us live in terror, oppression, persecution, violence and victimisation at the hands of the rest of us.

Reinstate the Shah

The ongoing spat between Iran and the UAE over various disputed islands has spilled over onto fake islands. To summarise the exciting drama:

Iran: Your man-made islands will harm our environment.

UAE: That's none of your business. Your nuclear plans are a risk to the whole region. And Tehran is the world's fifth most polluted city. And give us Mousa and Tunbs back.

It's a charming example of the traditional Arab divert-the-blame game. When your opponent tosses over his ball, ignore it, and throw several other balls back at him instead. Developments on Iran's doorstop are clearly its business, so a less petulant response might be to send over the usual Nakheel dossier: Why The Palm Is The Best Thing For The Environment And Marine Biodiversity Ever.

That apart, Iran's recent transformation into the North Korea of the Gulf is a concern. The shamals blow enough Persian sand and dust over the UAE already without adding fallout to the mix. So it wasn't too much of a surprise to see this headline in the same edition of Gulf News:

Association ordered to reinstate Shah

Disappointingly, it was actually about Dubai's Indian Association. No ousting the Mad Mayor and his Mullahs just yet.