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08 April, 2008

A "Jumeirah pillow"

What is the best way to get that extra special touch of personal room service when staying at a five star hotel? All is revealed in an article about the Jumeirah Carlton Tower:

Just in case you need to know, there’s a coded way to ask for a prostitute. You phone the concierge and say: “Can I have another pillow?” This is embarrassing, because my wife is quite partial to an extra pillow. Which means I’ve often called down and asked for a prostitute to help her sleep. Having said that, they’ve only ever sent a pillow. Which is probably for the best.

The writer of the article also finds plenty of call girls in the bar of Jumeirah's London property. Clearly a wonderful consistency of brand values across the portfolio.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is obviously new in town and has never heard the word "sharmootah" before.
So much more simpler, clearer, direct and honest than the heavy double entendre "pillow."
"Shlikeh" is much more poetic, lesser known and thus not offensive to the General Public. Not to be mixed up with Shashleek or Shish Taouk or Shawarmah

09 April, 2008 06:45  
Blogger Kyle said...

Dubai is really setting a trend especially for the deserving.

As for us the-non-deserver type, the catchy 'religious, cultural, political and moral values of the United Arab Emirates' gets shoved in our face, screens too!

Ok now seriously, what if the guy is lush or the girl a dyke? Do they have lush, dyke or fairy pillows?

*laughing incredulously*

09 April, 2008 07:57  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon, 06:45
Shlekeh doesn’t mean a prostitute. It means any female that behave in a whorish way.
And by the way, shlekeh is sexually unattractive. And what makes you think Dubai hotel staff will understand either of these two words?

Try Hindi or Tagalog, you'll strike better luck..

09 April, 2008 15:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ah, that's assuiming the hotel is in dubai and not i the glorious london of course

09 April, 2008 16:17  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, it happened in London not Dubai.

10 April, 2008 00:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Flatus: With the business generated from Prostitution in this town, anybody employed in the service industry probably understand "gahba" and 20 other similar terms in Farsi, Chinese, Lower Mongolian, Swedish and Japanese. Then again there's always the most direct "beddi kess", "teez oo bzez" .....

10 April, 2008 09:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SD -
I don't know how you keep getting around all of the blockages, but I'm glad.

11 April, 2008 14:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Temple Prostitutes, Female Goddessess, Slaves, Servants, Sex Toys, Breeding Machines, Why would the East be any different than any other part of the world?

12 April, 2008 01:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT, but good news:

Dubai's highest court upholds 15-year jail term for two who raped a boy

Dubai: The Dubai Court of Cassation on Monday upheld a 15-year-jail term handed down to two Emirati men for raping a French boy.

The highest court in Dubai upheld the sentence and incriminated the two accused of kidnapping the 15-year-old French boy and having sex with him against his will in a desert area in Al Barsha.

The victim's compensation claim of Dh15 million will be handled by a civil court.

The Public Prosecution had charged the two Emiratis - a 35-year-old HIV positive man and his 18-year-old compatriot - with deceiving and kidnapping the 15-year-old French-Swiss boy.

They were charged with forcefully undressing the 15-year-old, threatening him with a knife before having sex with him.

The boy's medical reports confirmed that he had not contracted Aids.

A Dubai Government spokesperson in this case, Dr Habib Al Mulla, of Dr Habib Al Mulla and Co Advocates and Legal Consultants, earlier said the sentence was in accordance with the practice in most countries in respect to similar crimes.

12 April, 2008 08:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is hardly new, been happening for decades throughout the world and probably always will, not exclusive to Dubai or London.

12 April, 2008 18:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It happened in London. What's the relevance to Dubai?

13 April, 2008 17:09  
Blogger Dubai@Random said...

1. Dubai set up a 'free zone' for non-Muslim ex-pats that is very expensive, but has no Internet restrictions. Secret Dubai lives and/or works in the free zone.

2. The UAE newspapers all ran stories that the Internet in the free zones is now restricted, in accord with Federal Law, to prohibit all content that violates the mores of the UAE. Dubai encourages these stories. The stories, not read by the non-Muslim ex-pats, were a good way to mollify the Citizens who want the mores strictly enforced. Secret Dubai may continue to post freely from inside the free zones.

3. The London hotel is owned by a Dubai company, hence the connection.

4. Since the author of the article (as well as the author of this comment) has frequently requested a pillow, but has never gotten a prostitute, the story is almost certainly apocryphal, something the hotel staff told the gullible reporter.

5. In the Dubai hotels with a star rating (even a 1-star), prostitutes are not provided, and asking for one may result in the advent of the local constabulary. One gentleman from a country with many maple trees, having located his own prostitute, found that the hotel staff would not allow him to take her into the hotel unless she booked her own room, an expense he was very loathe to incur. (I have heard that this does not apply to the star-crossed hotels.)

6. Secret Dubai needs to add herself to her 'unblock this blog.' The TRA found her mirror blog, and blocked that as well.

13 April, 2008 22:01  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Mores of Society have not changed since the beginning of time.


Check Dubai and then any other city in this world.

14 April, 2008 04:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

at Dubai2@random :

You don't need to live or work in a freezone to access blocked pages. What nonsense !

Do you dream in pink also?

14 April, 2008 08:59  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


if you did not get a prostitute on request in dubai, then you must be a pretty scary character for even them. on average, they are thrust upon your face all over the streets of deira and bur dubai, and in all pubs and bars and discos of the upmarket shk zayed / jumeirah area. started with asians and egpytians, moved on to syrians and lebanese, polish, russian, and currently uzbekhs and chinese, dubai can easily claim to be the biggest whorehouse in the region.dont ask m about cultural and religious mores. the more the merrier.

14 April, 2008 13:15  
Blogger zzboy said...

To: dubai@random
"5. In the Dubai hotels with a star rating (even a 1-star), prostitutes are not provided, and asking for one may result in the advent of the local constabulary."

Thats BS.. They are all over the place. There are more prostitutes in Dubai hotels than there are in Las Vegas.. Go to ANY hotel (eg Shangri La, Jumeirah Beach Resort, Dhow Palace) and 10 PM and they would mob you...

You seem to be just another spoon fed emirati... :D

15 April, 2008 13:44  
Blogger zzboy said...

"and asking for one may result in the advent of the local constabulary."

In addition to that.. African and Asian prostitutes can be found on the streets of Deira and Bur Dubai (around Khaleej Center).. And even when your "constabulary" drives by.. They do nothing :)

15 April, 2008 13:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well at least the 25% maximum expat population quota will be all made up of prostitutes
That should solve it all.

16 April, 2008 13:53  
Blogger Para Glider said...

For what it's worth, SD, you're freely available in Qatar, though there's plenty of Internet censorship here too. 5-star hotels, generally, are where the devil says goodnight. Overpriced, pretentious glitz-palaces. So it's good to hear they're providing at least some services.

16 April, 2008 16:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kzaveri.. "You seem to be just another spoon fed emirati... :D"

racist profiling?

how pissed off and/or judgemental are you?

20 April, 2008 03:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha....

On prostitution, the best shag I had in DXB was a 22yo local girl organised for me by a local guy, and what a goer she was.

DXB is the Capital of the land of hipocrisy, I've seen how the boys behave in bars there and worse still in other countries, so I thought I would play their game in their own backyard with their own sisters.

And their sisters loved it

04 May, 2008 03:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

UNBELIEVABLE! WHAT A LAND OF HYPOCRISY! As an American living in Dubai, I am more sensitive to and subsequently recognize the principals imposed by the Muslim state. Talk about a culture not walking the walk for the talk! It is true that Islam is not the root of evil. However, it can be said that religion has killed more people than any disease known to humanity. Prostitution is a commodity. It has and shall pervade our culture. If people aren't wise enough to wrap it up, so be it. Survival of the fittest! The innocent bystanders are victims just as the street vendors are in car bombs. Muslims of the world....wise up!!

12 June, 2008 07:53  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most of the Hotel staffs are Indian, Pakistani or South Asians
so if you want a Whore try ordering a Randi(Indian) you might get lucky!

01 January, 2011 16:39  

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