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03 January, 2009

From denial to the Nile

A new year dawns, and with it some big changes for Lola LebCan. After many happy years in Sheikh Zayed Road's prestigious Orifice Towers building, Dubai's PR queen is being forced to pack her bags. Either that, or have thousands of labourers gaze at her naked splendour in the shower every morning as the new Dubai Metro whizzes right past her window.

But like many long-term expats, Dubai has palled for Lola. The once-glittering heights of SZR's skyscrapers are but dusty glass. The glamourous sandlands social whirl is a shallow chore. There is no joy, no inspiration and the city, Lola says, is "soulless". She has even swapped karaoke at Harry Ghatto's for this festive lament:

Deck the malls with discount banners
Fallah-lalala-lala-lala

‘tis the season to sell your hummers
Fallah-lalala-lala-lala

Donning now your old pyjamas
Fallah-lalala-lala-lala

Join the bankrupt Jumeira mamas
Fallah-lalala-lala-lalaaaa*


Two years ago, Lola fled to Egypt for sanctuary. She now plans to seek the healing waters of the Nile once more and work on her Masri twang. Plus there are around 40 million men in Egypt, compared to just 2.5 million in the UAE.

*(c) Lola LebCan 2008


Comments

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24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

As long as she remembers to drop here Lebanese accent, she will be fine. She has fallen from grace but do not worry. She will be back. People like her cannot get away from this place. They just fit in. Barely.

03 January, 2009 21:34  
Anonymous rnb said...

Picky I know, but why is copyright, 2008?
I reckon with that name, she will fly Etihad, or is it Emirates, to Canada!

04 January, 2009 09:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck Lola,

Keep up the good work SD.

04 January, 2009 13:06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there some big big news under the wraps in dubai...there are lot of rumours getting spread about a really bad news... I hope and pray that itis not true

04 January, 2009 15:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who the hell is Lola LebCan?

04 January, 2009 16:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bad news? I picked up some rumours about some personal problems with Sheikh Mo but no specifics.

04 January, 2009 21:01  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mo had a stroke we hear?

05 January, 2009 15:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are lot of rumours getting spread about a really bad news

Like, The party's over.

05 January, 2009 15:59  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry off topic, times must be really bad when Dubai PR manages to work itself into a frenzy...

Gordon Ramsay's wife dismisses Dubai move rumours
Mary Nersessian, CTV.ca News

TORONTO -- Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay and his family won't be moving to Dubai, despite media reports to the contrary, his wife told CTV.ca on Wednesday.

British and Australian media had recently reported that the bad boy chef and TV personality, known as much for his colourful language as his lineup of Michelin stars, is planning to leave London for Dubai.

"I did read that and I phoned Gordon and I asked, 'Are we moving to Dubai?'" recounted his down-to-earth wife Tana Ramsay, who is in Toronto on a promotional stop for her new cookbook Home Made.

"Where that came from, I don't know," she said.

05 January, 2009 18:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous @13.26

are you crazy or you want the flies to trap themselves in your net like the black widow

06 January, 2009 17:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who in the bloody world is Lola? The only Lola that I know of is the Aston Martin LMP car that competes in the LeMans series out here.

08 January, 2009 17:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, some of you lot are thick.

11 January, 2009 12:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, I've also heard some rumours that something quite bad has happened in the "Family". Not sure who though. Maybe the son has got trigger happy again

11 January, 2009 13:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hehe...lola does not mind it, as long as thick ones have thick wads of cash to pay. and for the stragglers...lebcan is leb of canada passport fame. back in gul since they have no qualifications worth speaking about, and is back in the gulf to make a living out of pimping and whoring. in fact i know one who works in advertising, and makes a living as vp of business development in the no.1 agency on town, and gets clients by pimping for them. lebcon is an equally effective term.

11 January, 2009 13:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Secret Dubai Diary,,,

I have been following your blog since its conception.

Since you are so popular yet banned, pls start a new blog about the "crash" "layoffs" "economic downturn" of dubai. I believe there is a systematic disinformation done by the media of dubai inc regarding the health of dubai's economy. Not a blog sort of thing but someplace where people could discuss the new rumour

12 January, 2009 19:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it has crashed, the intelligent know that. the idiots who bought there believing all the bullshit Dubai PR continue to be convinced about the current lies being spun also.

let them live in their delusion, time will show them what they dont see now.Next time look at the fundamentals and governance selection of a country before committing hard earned cash there. maybe it was all easy money made there that got invested there. in which case, good riddance.

13 January, 2009 14:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

readers writing in to gulf news daily on less traffic these days :

In reality the reason for easy trafffic is now the decrease of people coming to Dubai. The economic recession stopped many from coming to Dubai. Secondly, many have returned their families back to their home countries as a result new rent rules.. Also, the favourable exchange rates in the eastern countries make people save their earning by sending it to their own countries. I dont think the use of public transport has much to do with this.
Baiju Murathankal
Dubai,UAE
Posted: January 13, 2009, 07:25

I do agree that the traffic has reduced, but one important factor is the fact that many people have either left Dubai or or jobless.
Farah Shah
Dubai,UAE
Posted: January 13, 2009, 06:49

Yes it seems that the trafic has eased. It used to take me 35 minutes to reach Dubai Airport from King Faisal road. Now it takes me 20 minutes.
Adel
Sharjah,UAE
Posted: January 13, 2009, 06:24

I think traffic has decreased because many have left Dubai in the last 6 to 7 weeks.
From a reader
Dubai,UAE
Posted: January 13, 2009, 06:18

Traffic has eased not only because of car pooling or opting for public transport but it's to do with recent job losses wherein many people have started returning back to their home countres.
Rajeev
Dubai,UAE
Posted: January 13, 2009, 05:58

The main reason why traffic has eased is because a lot people are leaving Dubai.
Jane
Dubai,UAE
Posted: January 13, 2009, 02:21

Traffic is less because of recession. People are out of jobs and leaving the country.
Sam
Dubai,UAE
Posted: January 13, 2009, 02:13

People are getting fired and others are afraid of getting fired. Banks are not financing. That is why the roads are empty.
Khalid
Dubai,UAE
Posted: January 13, 2009, 01:36

13 January, 2009 14:43  
Anonymous sunil said...

lol....wtf is lola...sheikh moe and stroke? sheikh moe and some other bad news i have heard? what are these rumors? why?

yes, do talk about the crash, job market, real estate market and the overall state of the city. where is it and where is it heading? what will fix it? lots of hard questions i am sure...but let's get an intellectual comment thread going here..it will be interesting to see people's thoughts.

18 January, 2009 00:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how can we contribute posts/do our own posts as guests on your blog SD?

18 January, 2009 20:59  
Blogger secretdubai said...

This is a one-author blog so all the posts are by me, however I do take suggestions and have sometimes cross-posted other people's posts or comments or posted on other people's behalf. In which case it is always attributed to them and linked to them when possible.

If you have something you would like me to highlight I am happy for suggestions, you can email me at my username here at gmail.

If you would like to blog yourself about something, but don't have your own blog, then please consider joining UAE Community blog as that has several hundred authors (however most don't post very regularly, so you shouldn't get swamped).

19 January, 2009 09:52  
Anonymous Adam Smith said...

Hi, I'm a documentary filmmaker from England, and i'm heading to Dubai from the 6th to the 14th of February. The documentary will be focussed on Dubai's rapid development and evolution into a 'globalized' city, and will be constructed from long meditative shots of Dubai's built environment and interviews with those who are able to articulate the social and environmental implications of the city's built environment. I'm currently looking for individuas to interview, you know of any on here?

Adam Smith

adam_smith_350@hotmail.com

21 January, 2009 19:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Adam,

I know quite a few people you can interview...maybe even me...

Lola Lebcan

22 January, 2009 09:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Something must be wrong. I believed you were all rich and happy... I'm happy i refused a job proposal in Dubai... It was the best I can do, I'm happy that reading you I got convinced that it was the right thing to do. HEEEEWWWWWW!!!

27 January, 2009 18:57  
Anonymous Blonde Dating said...

just wondering, dubai, like saudi, oman and other muslim country, dubai is the less conservative one. I hate to believed that this is a sign of weakening moral for the Muslim belief.

25 February, 2009 17:24  

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