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22 March, 2006

An udderly tragic affair

The first hot contender for the Tragic Romance of 2006 is submitted by Kretin Times:

FUJAIRAH — A Bangladeshi labourer allegedly turned into a wild beast after dashing into a cattle pen and sexually assaulting a cow. He was detained and referred to the court, which sentenced him to six months in jail to be followed by deportation.

Court records showed that a national heard abnormal sounds coming out of his cattle pen. When opening the door and checking, he found a Bangladeshi labourer, identified as M.Z., sexually assaulting a cow. He took hold of him and called the police. The man, who was arrested, admitted to his crime, while the cow was sent for medical examination.


God forbid if that poor cow is found not to be a virgin: she'll face the death penalty like last year's comely camel.

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27 Comments:

Blogger al-republican said...

Because that would weaken the case of feminism :)

22 March, 2006 09:22  
Blogger Earthbound Misfit said...

Balushi,

Seriously, that was the most pathetic and racist comment I have ever heard you say.

You talk rubbish all the time. YOu do not make sense. You spew illogical and nonsensical rhetoric.

And I think it is about time you are banned from this blog.

Bloody Idiot!!!!

22 March, 2006 10:30  
Blogger MuFi101 said...

BaLuSHi is piCKiN oN SeCY, WHY????

22 March, 2006 11:46  
Blogger MuFi101 said...

BaLuSHi waS huRT aS a KiD, leTs taKe hiM cLuBBiNg & geT hiM DRUNK!!! hhehehh

22 March, 2006 11:51  
Blogger LizzieD said...

SD: Is there any way to check the age of your commentators? Balushi is clearly no older than 12. Doesn't he need his parents' permission to post on blogs?

22 March, 2006 12:03  
Blogger secretdubai said...

balushi is now banned from this blog, regardless if he posts anything sensible or not.

All comments made by him in recent entries will be deleted.

22 March, 2006 12:28  
Blogger al-republican said...

Revised scores:

al-republican - 1
Destitute Rebel - 2
Balushi - Red Card for foul play

I guess the contributor who asked him to change his screen name will now get his wish. Balushi will definitely come back with a changed nick. Although, it might not be too had to pick him in the crowd.

22 March, 2006 12:43  
Blogger secretdubai said...

More excellent news: the story made Fark.

News like this *must* be shared with the rest of the world!

22 March, 2006 12:49  
Blogger 1234dsfs said...

Thanx SD for banning balushi.. I dont know how to thank you - this guy was defaming our tribe. Thank God he is gone for good

22 March, 2006 12:49  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Thank God he is gone for good

Hopefully he is gone for good. Unless I put comment moderation on I can't prevent him commenting, but I can delete them as soon as possible. So do please ignore his future efforts, and if you spot him under a different name, do let me know.

I hope everyone understands this is not about censorship. Dissenting and controversial views remain very welcome. As do occasional funny smutty anecdotes.

Sheer, unfunny trolling is not welcome.

22 March, 2006 12:54  
Blogger Harsha said...

was expecting this to be covered here.

If this happened in India, even God wouldnt be able to save this guy.

22 March, 2006 13:53  
Blogger al-republican said...

Hahahaha Harsha!

I really am laughing out loud at work!

22 March, 2006 14:06  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

The cow will almost certainly not be a virgin, as if it were it would be a heiffer.

Raaaaaassssp!!

22 March, 2006 15:14  
Blogger Harsha said...

My comment relies on the fact that a cow in Hinduism is given a very religious status and is considered sacred.

22 March, 2006 16:15  
Blogger samuraisam said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

22 March, 2006 16:49  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Superb work, Scrooge!

Now let's wait and see how this story is presented in the local papers. Here's my prophecy:

---------------------------
A small protest by building labourers was calmed yesterday without incident after construction company Al Naboodah Laing O'Rourke agreed to discuss workers' concerns.

"All our workers are well paid and looked after, and we take all of their concerns very seriously," a company spokesman said.

---------------------------

22 March, 2006 16:59  
Blogger Harsha said...

:o)

22 March, 2006 17:08  
Blogger Harsha said...

Minkiji, such an act would be new to them and hence the outrage. The media there needs excuses to blow things up and there r many political groups waiting for such ooportunities. If they can burn down public places and conduct 'lathi' charges on guys n girls sitting in a park together and when loved ones want to celebrate valentines day. This is something too juicy to let go.

22 March, 2006 17:45  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

I just wonder if what the Bangladishi man is secondary to the fact that he can't bring his wife to the UAE (by law).
But how many desperate men would actaully do that with an animal...
Anyways...re the protest..its unfortunate that some countries take advantage of the need of others. I hope this gets settled, cause one of the things that I love about my country is the peace and stability..once thats gone..everything we have worked hard for is history.

22 March, 2006 19:12  
Blogger Cracking Boy said...

After the decision of giving guns to security guards in shopping malls, I think it's time for working out some defensive mechanism for cows and camels. The first think pops in the mind is fixing small tubes of TNT at the animal's backside which goes off by pressure of an external object!

23 March, 2006 00:14  
Blogger BuJ said...

very interesting stuff.. i'm talking about the Burj Dubai riot.. well i am commenting in anticipation to SD's post :)

i think there are some serious labour issues in the UAE, however as with any rapidly-changing place this has to be one of the consequences.

i disagree that this is slavery and anyone using such words has ulterior motives and probably just wants to stir up some shit or does not know what they are talking about.

23 March, 2006 04:23  
Blogger * said...

Thene important issues in Dubai at the moment":

Will DUBAI METRO open in Time?
Will the VIP seating area have SHAWERMAS served?
Will they have BAKHOOR bought to them by scantily clad heavily bossomed lasses?
Will it have a DUTY FREE section or at the least a PARIS GALLERY kiosk?
Will the ladies/children section have a seperate section for the DESI's?

23 March, 2006 09:22  
Blogger archer14 said...

LOL, kaya....I'm sure that it's not gonna be a joke, they will 'tabloid' it.

Buj, it's something synonymous to slavery, its known as plain old exploitation. Often it's a mix of both. Say what you want, but since september, there have been so many stand offs with labour companies that it's hard to create excuses.

I've posted about it at my new blog here.

23 March, 2006 09:49  
Blogger Debbie does Dubai said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

23 March, 2006 12:02  
Blogger SIN said...

Off-topic, but here's something that some may have missed today...the women at the shelter for abused women are being evicted as it's "unlawful grouping" as described by the ministry.

Excerpts below:
The Building Inspection Section at the municipality has warned the woman that she should vacate the villa because she is violating its planning code for the city.
"The woman is using the villa to group a large number of women in a residential area. Many families who live in the area have complained to the municipality that there are groups of women staying in the villa," the official said.
"The woman should move out of the villa. If she does not, the municipality will disconnect its water and electricity supply," the official said.


Words fail me...
Sorry SD for hijacking the post.

23 March, 2006 13:08  
Blogger Earthbound Misfit said...

Here is something to think about:

Ever notice how when groups of people have to be evicted, the first thing the evicting party claims is that neighbours complained about it.

Now, I can see (upto some extent) neghbours complaining when there are too many of the poor low income bachelors around (this is a whole new rant).

But who would complain about a group of abused women taking shelter in a nearby villa?? Would you??

Either this country is filled with some seriously sadistic people, or me thinks the powers that be tend to invent these neighbours to carry out unjustified evictions.

Just so Sad.

23 March, 2006 14:35  
Blogger SIN said...

EM,

Honestly, I was thinking the same and I feel it's both reasons. Ficticious officials and shady dealings are all part and parcel of living here. That doesn't mean that all the folks are corrupt or easily arm twisted, but that's what comes across in this case.
It's just sad that a country that prides itself on equality and being a modern nation supports actions that throw it back to the morals of the 16th century.

23 March, 2006 15:18  

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