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24 November, 2007

The Consulate on the Creek

Down on the south bank of Dubai Creek, behind high white security walls and an oasis of palms, manicured lawns and little pathways lies the British Consulate. Many mistakenly call it the British Embassy, but it is in fact a mere consulate, and only occasionally becomes an embassy should the Abu Dhabi-based British Ambassador temporarily be present there.

There's a lovely sense of old Colonial times about the Consulate with its low-lying bungalows and the chipper British accents behind every counter. It must be the enormous charm of the place - certainly not the distant, grey and miserable land it represents - that lures such a long line of people every day to queue hour after hour in hope of a visa.

The Consulate is also a shining example of the wonderful multiculturalism that Dubai fosters. On its noticeboards are posted the banns of courting couples, hoping to marry in Dubai. How heartwarming to see that every "John Brown, DOB 1947" or "Trevor Jones, DOB 1952" has found a "Svetlana Molotov, DOB 1982" or "Ludmilla Kalashnikov, DOB 1986". It makes one quite proud to come from a land with such a blatant lack of xenophobia or age discrimination.

Labels: ,


Blogger liberosis said...

"Molotov", "Kalashnikov"!


24 November, 2007 16:39  
Blogger Dubai Jazz said...

For women who don't approve this, you can always find solace in all the available Dimitry Makarovs (DOB to your choice...).
With 9" barrel and 15 rounds magazine, you'd never get disappointed.

24 November, 2007 17:15  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously a new form of "pedophilia" – puke!!
For anyone that feels the urgent need to fu** someone that could be your child or even grandchild !!! (no matter where you are from) it is obviously time to get a date with your shrink.
Even worse is the fact that some dudes feel that it is ok to abuse social injustice or ongoing female oppression in such a perverted manner!

You can't handle a mature woman in your age range (give it a generous +/- 10 years) and need to hit it off with a much younger, totally dependent person – ouch, you really, really have a problem and I for sure would not want to meet with you, because I would be disgusted beyond description.

24 November, 2007 21:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry SD....
Feminism hasnt obviously caught in with everyone in the world; thank God almighty.

It is no business of nobody for a british / Western Gentlemen to marry or romance a nice Eastern euro lady, or for that matter a nice dusky lady.

Ofcourse for every romance of this type, a bitter feminist somewhere loses out. Tough.

Many of these men have gotten a new lease of life with the young ones. Why should a fifty five year old single guy go out with a lady in her fifties when there are tonees and I mean literally tonnes of literraly young ladies that find him attractive. Can anyone give a convincing answer for that?

And do grow up, do not confuse pedophilia with this. You are only lessening the severity of the word. You sound idiotic.

24 November, 2007 23:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dubai, Dubai...a place where every colonial fantasy can come to life...

25 November, 2007 01:45  
Blogger Dubai Jazz said...

I have to agree with Seven Summit.
Although I don't necessarily detest the men who do it, I just feel it is kind of uncanny to marry someone the age of your daughter. And for the Anon who claimed that 'love' could be the basis for such marriages; get real. Everybody knows that 'material' versus 'sex & fullfillment' is the majic formula.

25 November, 2007 01:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the males and females posting here:

Why so bitter? Mad that you can't score no pretty Euro tail for yourself? Suck it.

25 November, 2007 03:07  
Blogger nzm said...

It's been going on for years - before the UAE came into existence.

"White" men would visit or live in exotic countries and pick themselves "dusky" maidens to marry.

They were kind of looked upon as failures in their own societies - men who couldn't find women of their "own kind" who would marry them. There must have been something wrong with them.

Of course, there were exceptions to this rule - couples who genuinely fell in love. That is, there wasn't at least one of the couple who wasn't looking at the marriage as a last ditch resort to escape their miserable existence, only to likely end up in a different kind of misery.

Then along came the mail order brides.

Nowadays, the Dubai lonely bachelors can do their bridal shopping in the bars and streets.

It's called progress. An evolution of the process.

25 November, 2007 06:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually you are wrong about it being a consulate. It is an embassy dating back to before the UAE became a nation with a capital in AD and is the only British embasssy to have a consul general not an ambassador.

25 November, 2007 07:36  
Blogger hut said...

Why the sarcasm. It’s a fair and square deal and not for us to disdain.

The Russian or Filipina girl gets the passport, and the mature English Mechanical Engineer gets his leg over once more.

The term 'marriage of convenience' hasn't been coined here.

25 November, 2007 10:14  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A little fact of life:
When an old woman marries and young man, she makes him old. However, when a young woman marries an old man, she makes him young again. Stop hating, let the old geezers have some "fresh buns".


25 November, 2007 16:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In case you want to go back to Dubai bashing in your next topic Dubai, according to the World Economic Forum UAE is now in the top 40 Best Countries for Business ahead of Italy but behind Saudi Arabia, Qatar Kuwait and Is***l (at 17)

25 November, 2007 17:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure, I can't help but feel a bit weird when I see this sort of couples in bars and beaches. But the invovled woman never seems to be in direct distress and maybe the smile on her face is due to the images of her bedridden father who can now get proper health care and all her nephews who can now get proper education.

Further, she can now live the life she has been seeing on MTV or other american chanel since her childhood.

It is easy to criticise when we westerners have grown up in a society that offers free healthcare and almost free education in top universities.

This is globalisation taking to a next step...

25 November, 2007 19:57  
Blogger BuJ said...

SD, interesting, I been going there for many years and I know it as an embassy because it was there before the UAE existed. If it was a mere consulate then why do all their stamps and letterheads state that it's an Embassy?

If you give me a valid reason, I'd be tempted to write to them next time I'm there :)

26 November, 2007 02:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

26 November, 2007 06:42  
Blogger KJ said...

I think it is time to pioneer this in the Syrian Consulate ;)

26 November, 2007 09:06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

from the school of two wrongs make a right, heres something to appease the feminists:

26 November, 2007 11:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why wouldn't they? What are the other choices? SWF, arm flab, pasty complexion, wonky teeth, divorced 2-3 times, kids, smokes, drinks lager, able to whine and complain in the same language...

I'm not saying that all British women in the same age range as the men are like this but, what I am saying that all 20 something Kalishnikovs are: Hot, live on a much smaller sustenance, will perform the freaky far more than the above, instead of buying a gym membership will buy a 2 piece bikini and Hot.

I'll admit the conversation isn't top notch but that's what your jealous friends are for.

Peace out. Namaste.

26 November, 2007 14:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


26 November, 2007 18:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dubai is quite rich. And every country in the world wants money...

26 November, 2007 18:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kipling - The Ladies :-)

"Now I aren't no 'and with the ladies,
For takin' em all along
You never can say till you've tried em
An' then you are like to be wrong
There's times when you think that you mightn't,
There's times when you know that you might
But the things you will learn from the yellow and brown,
They'll elp you a lot with the white"

26 November, 2007 23:32  
Blogger fadi said...

To Derric,

i don't agree that every country simply wants to be rich. A dubai is not a country and it is a city that suffers from lack of transparency when it comes to economic indicators (including their high inflation rate). they also lag behind culturally, and their judicial and social infrastructure are still in the medieval era.

27 November, 2007 01:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you guys want them hot, humble, cheap and young, i suggest get urs from Thailand.
Ah yes, i get mine every 3 years and am quiet happy.
They service us brits well you know. And i get thai food too.

27 November, 2007 09:17  
Blogger CG said...

I have been reading those on the walls in the Embassy for many many years. It is funny how they have changed during the years. Over 20 years ago the old geezers would be marrying Svitri Rajas (somebodys housemaid), then a few years later they started marrying Amour Aquinos and now they are into Svetlanas.....what will it be in another 10 years, I wonder?

27 November, 2007 21:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The British Embassies in Abu Dhabi and Dubai represent Her Majesty's Government in the United Arab Emirates.

As for ‘strange looking’ couples: as long as they are happy together, and I am not involved… then best wishes!

27 November, 2007 21:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what seems to be life from your high horse chair is not necessarily how it is for these women. nobody really seems to be having a problem with a few million eastern europeans spreading their legs as prostitutes in dubai for all and sundry. then how come we have a problem when someone young legally marries and lives with someone, irrespective of age. lesser of the evils, i would think. it is a question of demand and supply. people leaving the freedom of their home country, and coming to work in dubai. sounds a lot like svetlana marrying smith, doesnt it.

28 November, 2007 12:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I;m posting this link,,2209519,00.html
to a story I read on the Angry Arab's blog. Although it might be a considered tenuous link to the topic, it is well worth a read.

28 November, 2007 13:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

unJane – mmmh – could it be that you are sort of lagging behind? :-) :P

See long discussion of this article on UAE Community Blog

Unfortunately - as usual - this serious topic got interrupted by some off topic intruders that show up every time we are trying to debate on something critical.

@ Anon 12:39,
did you miss the point that this is prostitution – only with a long term contract?! We are talking about someone my dad's age screwing someone my daughter's age – do you think that this is natural, has something to do with love and something that can be compared with the for some people "holy institution of marriage"?
Check out the health risks involved and why a couple that would normally attempt to have children should be within a reasonable age range!

28 November, 2007 22:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is wrong with old man marrying beutiful young wife? Our prophet marry nine year old? Young woman good for old man.

28 November, 2007 23:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SS - thanks for the link to the community blog - which I almost never read. It's disappointing to see that the same level of degradation of conversation happens there, too. Why is everyone so angry???

29 November, 2007 13:03  
Blogger clamspirit said...

"Svetlana Molotov, DOB 1982" or "Ludmilla Kalashnikov, DOB 1986"

As a random information, these surnames would need to be altered to be feminine :

Svetlana Molotova
Ludmilla Kalashnikova

You learn something new every day! :D

29 November, 2007 16:44  
Blogger SevenSummits said...

UnJane – with pleasure!
Yes, very good question?!???
Find serious discussion about it here :-))) LOL

30 November, 2007 01:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A published Japanese Poem says....

Excellent Life: Salary from America, House in England, Chinese Food, Japanese Wife.

Good Life: Salary from England, House in America, Japanese Food, Chinese Wife.

Worst Life: Salary from China, House in Japan, American Food, English Wife.

30 November, 2007 08:59  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha funny post. However I must correct you, a salary in america is worth sod all.

30 November, 2007 15:19  
Blogger Bravecat said...

And it's English food, American wife for the worst scenario :^)

02 December, 2007 16:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope I'm not too late, but take a look at this dynamic; female sex tourism - women looking for 'goooood times' with younger men. There were hyperlinks to other pages on some of the words, but they not supported here.

The patterns have been explored by Michel Houellebecq in Platform and in the non-fiction work Romance on the Road, and are important in that they support the idea that sex tourism by both men and women reflects serious problems in the tourists' home countries, including a dating war, or profound conflict between the sexes.

Thailand, the Dominican Republic and Cuba are exceptional in that both male and female sex tourists find these places all-purpose sexual emporia.

The primary destinations for female sex tourism are Southern Europe (mainly Italy, Greece, Turkey, Croatia and Spain), the Caribbean (led by Jamaica, Barbados and the Dominican Republic),Southeast Asia (Bali in Indonesia and Phuket in Thailand), Ghana and Kenya in Africa. Lesser destinations include Nepal, Morocco, Fiji, Ecuador and Costa Rica.

An estimated 600,000 Western women have engaged in travel sex from 1980 to the present, many of them as repeat customers.[1] By some estimates, 80,000 North American and European women flock to Jamaica for sex every year.[2]

Lesbian sex tourism is nascent but evident in Lesbos (Mytilini) in Greece; Bangkok and Pattaya in Thailand, and on Bali in Indonesia.

Female tourism is common in Gambia, primarily by British and Scandinavian women.

06 December, 2007 20:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shucks - I just sent the 'female sex tourism' article, without my ID (SAExpat69)

06 December, 2007 20:21  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shit, I did it again (I forgot to enter it in the Nickname field).

Sorry, SAExpat69

06 December, 2007 20:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you don't like London?!!

08 December, 2007 07:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your posts are cryptic and uninformed. i think you have too much time on your hands. you should know that the only reason your blog is so popular is that it is controversial and provides relative relief for your racist expatriate counterparts.

I found this blog on a group on facebook called "BLOCK Secret Dubai". I don't think it should be blocked, but I think that deleting the comments that voice opposition to you while at the same time speaking out against the UAE's infringement on freedoms of speech is a very striking double standard on your part.

To be sure, I, a palestinian lebanese who was born and raised in Abu Dhabi now living in Beirut, have major issues with the totalitarian regime in the Emirates. But your ways are arrogant, and lack rational basis. There are many traces of attacks on arab culture in your postings and that to me is deeply disturbing

11 December, 2007 08:13  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I think that deleting the comments that voice opposition to you

Well I don't - you've just made that up to suit your own agenda. If you read my own comments you will see that I specifically allow and even welcome criticism, including comments such as yours.

What I have no time for is criticism written in stupid, text speak; criticism that isn't criticism but just sheer insult flinging at me; criticism from people that have completely misunderstood the point of the post. Believe it or not, I have written positive posts about the UAE, and then had some semi-literate cretin accusing me of being negative. Some people just see what they want to see, or they're too stupid/ill educated to participate in English-language discussion: either way I tend to delete their input here. This is an English language blog and I can't cater to those that cannot cope with that.

I've also deleted plenty of race hate against Arabs (as well as against, Indians, Hindus, Muslims, Westerners). You might feel happier with the notion that I am somehow racist or anti-Arab myself. But I am not. I'm not even 100% anti the Dubai government, just some/many of its policies. If I genuinely hated Arab or Muslim people I would have never bothered to write this blog let alone come to the Middle East in the first place.

Never mistake criticism of government policies as racist sentiment against the people of that government. That's the accusation that Americans fling at those who oppose Israeli policy: that all Israeli critics are anti-semites. Clearly they're not.

So let's not stoop to America's low level in trying to suppress free speech and discussion by accusations of racism.

11 December, 2007 12:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

have you read 'A short history of tractors in Ukranian'? A funny but sometimes introspective take on old Brit male-yound Eastern european woman.
yes globalization takes all forms doesn't it?

11 December, 2007 13:20  
Blogger fadi said...

The Emirates, Dubai especially, might be known for its skyscrapers, beautiful architecture, western luxury goods, or rare cars. But try accessing a website that has nothing but someone’s opinions or thoughts, and you might be greeted with an “Access Denied” message. If you were the author you’d probably be in a dark humid cell by now. Basically, the message informs the user that the site they’re trying to access has content that conflicts with the teachings of Islam and the customs of the local culture. Ironically, Dubai is anxiously anticipation the opening up of “Hooters”. There is almost a sense of pride in the air. The illusion of openness and modernization has clouded the minds of the masses. True, they can import goods, leverage technology, and hire the best; but it takes more than a couple of generations to change a primitive mindset.

13 December, 2007 21:31  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Heh! Wasn't long ago the notice board in there said "Timothy Newman, DOB 1977" had found "Yulia Golovina, DOB 1976".

Do I get credit for attempting to reverse the reputation British men have for cradle-snatching Russian women?

18 December, 2007 10:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is vice versa still unpopular? eg toy boy marries rich bitch!!

final words on this piece of dirty laundry;
to each their own.........
different strokes for different folks....
hope I have enough flab in my head when i get old....

28 January, 2008 10:41  

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