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18 January, 2003

The Horror Pt 2: British "theme" pubs

Nothing can be quite so tragic or ghastly as the sight of a crowd of beerbellied British 40-somethings trying to "recreate" Old Blighty in the glacially air-conditioned interior of some fake Olde English Poob.

British pubs don't open off the gilded, marble lined atriums of various five star hotels. They are not freezing inside - most often they are stuffy, stagnant and humid. They do not charge upwards of five quid for half a pint of watered down piss (except in Lahhndahhn maybe). They are not staffed by bow-tied Filipinos paid tuppence an hour. Their lavatories do not contain freshly-cut flowers, graffiti-free walls, and solid silver bowls of potpourri.

According to today's Gulf News, there are 200,000 cable-ready homes in the UAE and in two years the entire country will be cable-ready.

It can also safely be assumed that in that timeframe Linux and Mac users will still not be able to get ADSL, those that can will be reduced to pre-Tandy modem bitrates by Etisalat's pathologically sluggish proxy, and those lucky enough to live in Umm Seqeim will probably be tapping in to the Tecom intranet with crocodile clips and copper wire.

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