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20 July, 2006

Banana Royale

This week's excuse for the UAE's perennially disrupted internet service is a rather novel and exciting one. It appears that world-famous secret agent James Bond is building a giant banana-shaped island off Fujairah:

"The shifting of the three cables will take about two days each to steer clear of the artificial, banana-shaped, island planned to be set up in the area", according to Sean Connery, the British engineer in charge.

What will 007's latest adventure be titled?

1. Sandraker
2. Seafloor Shaken, Internet Stirred
3. GoldenSouq
4. The World is Not Enough
5. From Rashidiya with Love
6. Dr Laah
7. Octoproxy
8. Dishdash Another Day
9. Diamonds Are On Special
10. The Camel Who Loved Me

Labels: , ,

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious

20 July, 2006 17:09  
Blogger unJane said...

Are you serious.....a banana shaped island....wtf? How does that fit into the scheme of palm trees and continents???? It's getting uglier and uglier.

20 July, 2006 17:32  
Blogger Woke said...

Can't wait for the Austin Powers spoof either.

20 July, 2006 18:20  
Anonymous Sandfish said...

As funny as it sounds, it is true. Fujairah Municipality has been busy dumping all kinds of rock/concrete/soil waste in the sea building this banana island (near the Fujairah/Kalba border, opposite the animal market) for the past couple of years. The Municipality has even asked all quarries (with no option to decline) to contribute their waste materials (in order to keep the construction cost down). Initially it was intended for some posh resort/houses/shops/restaurants. Somehow, difficult to figure out why, interested or enthusiastic developers/clients were not forthcoming.
The latest use for this banana island will be to stockpile and load rock and aggregate products destined for the Kuwaiti and Qatari markets. Fujairah Port is now completely overloaded, and ships have to queue offshore for days to wait for their loading turn. Over a million tonnes of rock are shipped every month from Fujairah alone. Almost the same quantity goes out of RAK Port every month. Just incase you wander about this info; I happen to have the misfortune to be involved in this project. Two more island are being built by Fujairah, between Khor Fakkan and Dibba, right next to the Marine Reserve. One of the best diving spots in the East Coast, Sharm Rock (next to the Sandy Beach Motel) will disappear as Sharm Valley is being developed by a Saudi group. Hundreds of villas/condos, seaside restaurants, hotel/resorts and a shopping mall are to be built (earth works have already started).

20 July, 2006 20:47  
Blogger Mz-B said...

How about the island off Umm Al Quwaian, it resembles a giant brown-nose that will be home to all the xpat Arabs that try to take the Emiratis for a ride!

I would have thought James would have preferred the phallus shaped virtual island behind Bur Jurman where he could always be assured of a good ride for his monehy

20 July, 2006 22:31  
Blogger MD said...

lol!!

20 July, 2006 23:33  
Anonymous zandol said...

I LOL'd

21 July, 2006 00:16  
Blogger Al Sinjab said...

Oh No!!!

Sharm Rock is amazing.

That's so sad.

21 July, 2006 01:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do Police officers in Dubai accept “Bribes” ?

Apparently, YES!

So this friend of ours was in a taxi driving down to Sharjah, the cab guy skips a light at the Galadhari cross roads and changes three lanes in a go. The cab got pulled over and the Cops came over and wanted to arrest this guy. Not the Driver, but the passenger,(Brown passenger).

The cops asked him if he was drinking, (remember he was not in Sharjah yet, still a few hundred meters away from the border),


The guy freaked out so he offers a bribe, AED 1,800 that he happened to have in his pocket. And guess what, the Uniformed Dubai Police Officer accepts it and lets him go.
Now we understand that corruption is endemic in this region, however is it acceptable to fleece the underprivileged? Oh allk right this over paid brown guy we are taling about is not part of the ,”underprivileged”, but WTF? Well Dubai is progressing and ……

Dubai = a wanna be First world country?

Dubai = stereotypical Arab nation with nothing new to offer.


Regards,

Surprised Sheep Productions

21 July, 2006 01:48  
Blogger The Wanderer said...

Anon@01.48

Dubai is just an Emirate of a country called the United Arab Emirates. Not the country itself and not even the capital.

Geez.

21 July, 2006 13:35  
Blogger layal said...

أتمني ان نتبنى جميعا كمدونين كلمه واحده بتاريخ واحد نحدد فيه رأينا للعالم اجمع
اتمني ان ندون مدونه واحد بتاريخ 27/07/2006
كلنا كمدونين نكرر عباره واحده
كلنا مع لبنان وفلسطين ضد اسرائيل والمحتلين
ولننشر كلماتنا القليله في جميع المنتديات والمواقع ليكون هذا اليوم يوم احتجاج
بالعربي بالانجليزي المهم نسمع صوتنا للعالم
وان لم نستطيع حمل السلاح فالنحمل الكلمه
وبأي لغة نستطيع نشرها
بالإنجليزية
We are with Lebanon and Palestine against Israel and occupiers
والفرنسية
Nous sommes avec tous le Liban et la Palestine contre l’Israel et les occupants
والألمانية
Wir sind zusammen mit dem Libanon und Palästina gegen Israel und Besatzer
والإسبانية
Somos todos con Líbano y Palestina contra Israel e inquilinos
والصينية
我们都是同黎巴嫩和巴勒斯坦对以色列占领者
واليابانية
私達はイスラエル共和国および占有者に対してレバノンおよ
びパレスチナとのすべてである
تحياتي للجميع

21 July, 2006 13:39  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

21 July, 2006 14:36  
Blogger Tim Newman said...

Never Draw Allah Again

Plot outline: 007 must track down and destroy the 13th Danish Cartoon, previously believed not to exist. A message intercepted by MI6 reveals a mysterious Jewish cabal plans to attack the Burj al-Arab with the picture and establish hegemonic control over the newspapers and banking systems of the Middle East. Can James Bond stop them in time?

21 July, 2006 14:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sharm Rock! Is that what is also known as 'Snoopy Island'?

21 July, 2006 22:02  
Anonymous Sandfish said...

To Anon 22:02

No, Snoopy Island is just opposite Sandy Beach Motel. Sharm Rocks is the rocky outcrops a few hundred meters south of Snoopy Island. A much better dive than Snoopy Island, and part of the Marine Reserve.

21 July, 2006 23:18  
Anonymous sandfish said...

To Layal:

You might want to correct the word “inquilinos”, which in Spanish means “tenants” for “ocupantes” or “invasores”. Using the word inquilinos, might imply that they have rights to be there, which they do not. Just for the record.

21 July, 2006 23:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Roffle. Lawl.

22 July, 2006 11:06  
Blogger Freelance on the road said...

Brilliant - how about:

Drive and Let Die? (I know it doesn't quite rhyme...)

A View to a Roadkill?

Goldhummer?

Casino Mamnoor?

24 July, 2006 15:06  

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