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28 August, 2006

The bald and the beautiful

Determined to share more fully in the Arabian experience, spinster schoolmarm Margery plans a final day of culture and tradition. The first move for the spinster schoolmarm is making the perilous journey from the Schwarzwald to Bald Eagle Point, Brazil. Surely such pluck will attract an oil sheikh or two?

But alas! There are none to be found in her second destination, the air-conditioned labyrinth of the Madinat Jumeirah, despite its highly authentic Arabian themepark flavour. Margery wanders, somewhat bow-legged, through the brand new ancient souq. Traditional Arabian souvenirs tempt her from all sides: toy camels dressed as ballerinas and Wild Wadi lifeguards, richly gilded mosque alarm clocks of finest factory plastic, and tinfoil khanjar daggers beautifully engraved with Arabic calligraphy spelling Made In China.

The third and final part of Margery's Arabian extravaganza is dinner at Mashawi, in the picturesque setting of Ibn Battuta mall car park. The food - as ever - is excellent, but sadly the traditional majilis-style outdoor shisha areas have been replaced with plastic chairs and tables, under orders of the general manager according to a waiter. No wonder that the white-robed sheikhs that used to frequent Mashawi are long fled.

And poor Margery must return a spinster once again, after yet another failed marital hunting trip.

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Blogger LadyOnTheTop said...

well, too bad for her, i wish her lucky in her next hunting.
i have a gf who got a gf came to dubai few years ago to do the same thing, the difference is she wore sneakers when she landed since she was expecting to step on the sand after landing. and her place of hunting was starbucks !!
i heard she maybe planning another trip here. So maybe there should be a group trip for them?

29 August, 2006 14:07  
Blogger haji-o-matic said...


I bin robbed!!

29 August, 2006 15:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way, the camels are made in India and cost a third of the price in the Gold Souk in Sharjah (just make sure to pick a nice one)...

29 August, 2006 16:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm .. would Marge be killed off at the end of this series. If yes, may I suggest a horrific accident on SZR or Al Shitihad road at the height of rush hour. Something with lots of blood and flames.

30 August, 2006 18:40  
Blogger Inspector Jay said...

Well, its pretty obvious why everything is so expensive on that side of Dxb, rents! Why would someone by rubbish from those stores when all you have to do is walk down Bur Dubai near Bank Of Baroda. There are some people selling genuine souvenirs for ridiculous prices. Old coins,stamps, daggers everything. And no, there isn't a made in china label on it.

30 August, 2006 22:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

on an unrelated topic

today's gulf news has his nice story about 'NATIONALS ANGERED AT NO CHANGE TO BANK WEEKENDS'

it seems nationals are leaving their bank jobs in droves, because they get only 1 day off..

31 August, 2006 13:17  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dubai’s treatment according to your wealth is so in-your-face, it is despicable. Sure, sheikhs are good targets but when you look at the world’s top ten, those are the ones who put genuine hard work and special talent. Gates, Walton, Kamprad, you name few. unfortunately they are all taken (if I am currect.)
I say these down-to-earth people who started from scratch are the true winners in the world.

31 August, 2006 15:59  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am always suspicious of those who advertise too much, especially in the Internet age.
You see such beautiful pictures in the homepages. I am usually disappointed when I see the real people/ places...

31 August, 2006 16:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a joke right!? Why would a girl waste her time chasing a dish dash...Im yet to meet one worthy of marriage let alone a quikie in the Nissan patrol with the tinted windscreen.
Real men are found where grass grows naturally....try New Zealand....or the USA

31 August, 2006 18:06  
Blogger rummyjohn said...

Real men are found where grass grows naturally....try New Zealand

Aye, coz where there's grass, theres sheep...

01 September, 2006 07:35  
Blogger bklyn_in_dubai said...

Poor spinster. Who knew it was so difficult to get picked up as wife #4? She should go back to Italy and France where at least she knows the hunting grounds well. And of course London might be the best place for the sheikh hunting. As for American men feeding on real grass? Our grass is grown with the finest of purely toxic pesticides and lovingly manicured in the most artistic forms by underpaid Mexican gentlemen. Draw your own conclusions.

01 September, 2006 10:35  
Blogger Insipid Chagrin said...

Entirey off-topic:

But for bouncers, how far is too far? I was doing the Karama beer rounds last night and saw quite the scene.

Outside of Ratsky, a reasonably popular karama hotel joint, I saw a steriod induced bull in a security t-shirt run out and haul off at a guy (probably a patron) out in the street.

Mr. Steriods actually broke his watch against the bloke's head. My question is - would that not be a case of straightforward assault no matter what the provocation?

And the guy was out in the street at that point, so technically out of the club's jurisidiction. How does a n oversized goon step up and knock you a few, in a place of his choosing? Wearing a security t-shirt surely doesn't allow for battery with impunity?

I've heard stories about bouncer brutality. Quite a few are just chemically enhanced thugs. But isn't this still going far too far.

I don't know what became of the entire scene, but the catch 22 is that even if the assaulted patron were to call the police, the men in green would nod wisely, hold him guilty of the offense of 'drinking' and hole him up for a month.

Sigh. We need to do something about this bouncer menace. Crowded bars with booze flowing are volatile enough without introducing hormonally imbalanced musclemen to the fray.

01 September, 2006 13:10  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think they will wait until some one is seriously hurt on of these days whwn one of these crazy people hits some one too hard.

Then maybe there will be rules for this

01 September, 2006 13:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just can't believe has been banned by etisalat.

02 September, 2006 08:40  

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