Secret Dubai archives
Labels: culture, marriage
posted by secretdubai at 12:09 PM
Aside from equality and whatnot, what I really don't get is this: why the hell do you want to live with someone who clearly doesn't want to be anywhere near you? I mean.. really.
Short answer. Women and men are not the same in every aspect of life. Just because a woman can have a baby doesn't make her better then a man, and just because men pee standing up doesn't make them better then women.When you say they should be equal what do you mean? If you truly answer this question you will see that equality is knowing exactly what our purpose in life is.
Because fellow atheist, a power trip, a thirst for revenge, looking for a punching bag - and a host of other reasons. Who knows what the real reason is here, but the fact that a woman can't divorce her husband, after he allegedly assaulted her, can't even leave her house (forget travelling abroad) is not only ridiculous but appalling! It's high time the Sharia courts get out of their time warp and allow the changing times to dictate leniences in the courtroom laws!
"If you don't like it leave..............""I can't, my husband won't allow me"
It's true, women are slaves. This is news to you?Lol SD your writings have really degenerated into sensationalistic nonsense.
Who ever claimed that women are equal to men anyway?
I think this is unfair to women and should be addressed soon, but the not so similar unfair thing to women happens in the west as well, it is in that they have to lose thier family name for their husbands'. Also I can not understand how most Brit ladiess accept to be called bitches even jokingly.Fair is in the eye of the beholder.
they have to lose thier family name for their husbandsNo, they don't. It's purely a matter of choice. Women can keep their own names, or the couple can go "double barrelled" (eg Mr Parker + Miss Jones = Mr & Mrs Parker-Jones) or they can even take the woman's surname. It's not often this happens, but it is increasing. And women keeping their own surnames as a professional name is now very common.Besides which, I hardly think a woman changing her name is comparable to a woman not being allowed to travel by the orders of her husband. That's just slavery, pure and simple.
Hey DXB541,What does purpose in life have to do with being able to move around freely??? How can you define what is that woman's purpose in life? Purpose in life is defined by one's own self and not by others.EVERY human being is born with certain freedoms. But it appears that these freedoms do not apply to women under the pretext of Life-purposes, respect and modesty.- DD
They really should get out of the Dark Ages here. Women aren't property anymore.
Women are not allowed to travel alone because our religion told us to do so. Muslim women didn’t complain to you, so don’t put yourself as their attorney. They are happily following the religion’s rules and not their men’s rules as you think. Men in Islam are also not allowed to wear gold or natural silk. Nobody complains... simply because we believe in our religion and try to follow it mush as we can. Nothing to do with Master-Slave, as you think!“One is carrying his own beard, why the other is upset?!!!” Of course this will not be published, so I am sending it to YOU! By the way, this subject is ancient for discussion, which means nothing but your bankruptcy...
"Women are not allowed to travel alone" vs "Men are not allowed to wear gold or natural silk" LOL!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!! Not exactly an equal footing I don't think. And besides Hatem, she was complaining. She took it to court...twice. I think she'd like to get away from the jackass. Wake up and smell the arabic coffee - your religion needs a few changes. We're not in the 10th century anymore...Oh, and I see in the Gulf News everyday that "you" are not following your religion as much anymore, judging by most of the crime stories they publish. It's fine to argue with people about religion - just don't lie whilst doing it. Nothing burns me up faster than listening to hypocritical blather.
dbx541: nobody ever said peeing while standing makes men better than women. If that's all you've got as a gender to crow about, then that's pretty sad indeed.On the contrary I do think that the ability to give birth makes the female gender far superior. "Second class from the past bears the human race". In any case - equality means that you don't have to ask permission from a man to do f*ckall. Short answer.
Sorry, it seems a somewhat specious argument to use cultural or religious reasons to justify the oppression of an entire sector of a society.If a person chooses to live their life a certain way that's a valid choice -- but it's equally valid (and a moral imperative) that they have the right to choose otherwise...That's like saying if my culture or religion believed that Black people were inferior I would have an obligation to deny them their civil rights.That's just crazy.
If you actually take time to read the article, you will find that the Abu Dhabi Shariah Court of Appeal actually ruled in her favor, it was the Federal Supreme Court that turned her down. Secondly, a Muslim woman is allowed to divorce her husband, it is in this case that she was not allowed to, again by the Federal Supreme Court.Thirdly, we are all sitting in front of our computers and happily analysing and commenting on a case whose relaity is unknown to us. Please give the judge a break!!
It's not about what judge or what court, or even about the divorce.The issue that I and others find abhorrent and unacceptable is that an adult human being is able to control the free movement of another adult human being. There can be no justification for this. We find it disgusting when companies (illegally) retain the passports of their employees, effectively enslaving them. It is just as disgusting that a man is able to prevent a woman from travelling.
Who defines what is "freedom"? Since when did "women are free to travel on their own" or "women are not free to travel on their own" become an inherent freedom? The way you Westerners argue really leaves one flabbergasted!By your own systems, traveling is NOT A freedom! Would someone mind explaining what a PASSPORT is? Or a visa? The state CONTROLS who move in and out of its borders. Similarly, since men are heads of the house as per Islamic Law (and quite frankly natural law too), they are responsible for the people in their family. There is nothing archaic about this; it is simply inherent in most beings (even in the animal kingdom, and yes there are some exceptions so save it)! An unmarried woman would have to take permission from her father. Same goes for men who have not reached maturity. They are to take permission from the heads of their respective houses as well.If, in the name of equality, you guys want to give a woman the "right" to REBEL against her husband, please do so. If you want her to have the "right" to be an equal and also be head of the house, please go ahead. Why not stretch it further and give children the "right" to rebel? And I think you already have gone ahead with this arrangement. What has it given you can only be confirmed by your conscience. Try having 2 heads of state and see where it leads you. And in the name of "human rights" please go ahead and spoil the fabric of your society, but leave us with our own. The problem with you people is that you expect everyone to be the same and are INTOLERANT of their ethics and values. This intolerance is coupled with your ignorance about the raison d'etre behind these ethics and morals that have been argued MILLINEAS ago! Yet, since white folks have only recently come out of the "dark ages" they think they are all intellectually developed and can intellectually outwit others' beliefs. New age Socrates et al! Try to live in a World where you can appreciate the differences in human beings based on what they value. We value family more than you do, hence such laws. The West values... (wow, I am really having a hard time finding one!)... individualism more than family and hence laws where women are not answerable to their fathers or husbands. We certainly don't judge you for your approach!As for the particular case of this lady, I fail to understand why she is shying away from taking a KHULA!? Khula (for lack of a better English equivalent) is "divorce" initiated by the woman. Taking such a separation involves being stripped of any monetary benefit (unless the court decides otherwise). If she is SO annoyed by her husband then can't she just forego his wealth and separate?There is always more to news items than just meets the eyes. You all probably think that courts in the UAE have these really disgusting, stinking (unkept hair and unbrushed teeth and all) Arab dudes who just love being stupid! No one takes law jokingly, please!
Human rights are not relative. They don't change from culture to culture or from society to society. The most important of these rights is the freedom from violence - the right to exist without fear, without being physically hurt.Al republican, are you seriously saying that an adult woman is no more capable of making a rational decision about where and with whom she should live than a five-year-old child? All around me in my office I see smart Emirati and other Arabic and Muslim women living and working both in accordance with their religion and as individuals, and not one of them would, or should, tolerate being forced to remain a victim of domestic violence.A beating is a beating, no matter which language or culture it's delivered in, and being born in one part of the world can never make it more acceptable than if you were born in another.
Are you tired of the modern world?DO you wish you travel back in time?WELL look no further! You can now safely travel back to the middle ages. Just step into the courts in this country and you will experience life as it was 100's of years Ago.And it is all Free!( subject to seating availability)You don't have to long for the good old days any more...
Al Republican,You said it best. The west has come out of the middle ages.Pity, YOU people continue to be stuck there.And lets not even start about intolerance. We all know who are the most intolerant and violent people in the world.Your family oriented laws are nothing but a bunch of chauvanist rules to protect the insecurities of the male.-DD
Al Republican,I am with you all the way!!!In protest against these archaic western systems which curtail our freedom lets all destroy our passports . Lets also stop this archaic practice of Visas. Why should we ask people to get a visa when they enter our country? Whoever comes to our country, we should freely allow them in and allow them to stay all they want!!That is true freedom!!
Al-Republican, the constitutions of "free" countries (not exclusively Western, btw) generally guarentee its citizens the right to move and live freely within its own borders. Visa, passports etc apply to foreigners, who are not covered by the same laws. This is very different from denying a woman the right to travel without her husband's/father's permission
Similarly, since men are heads of the house as per Islamic Law...Ever wonder why the Soviet Union, despite being so wonderful, forbid its citizens from leaving it? The answer is that it wasn't wonderful for those living in it, and only those brainwashed into believing the inane ramblings of a long-dead bearded idiot would think that it was, only they were not themselves subject to such restrictions of course!Now subsititute the Soviet Union in the above paragraph Islamic law, and put women in place of citizens, and your own position on the matter is summed up in a nutshell!Now I'm not sure exactly where your Berlin Wall will fall, but fall it will, and with some luck this blog complete with your continued presence will still be around to witness it.
I had posted something here that didn't see the light of day. Since it is SD's wish to do so, I respect that. However, there is no point in this now that some of my comments are not making it here.I don't think I used any foul language or said anything nasty to anyone. I had simply expressed my religion's view in the matter.
Al Republican...are you really being serious when you ask why the woman doesn't just file for divorce under a system in which she is guaranteed to walk away with NOTHING at all from a maariage?
Now that the Iraqi Women have been freed by the civilized westerners, not a bad idea to actually talk of freeing the Emirati Women.Some gal! Huh!"As I write, highly civilized human beings are flying overhead trying to kill me. They do not feel any enmity against me as an individual, nor I against them.They are only doing their duty, as the saying goes. Most of them, I have no doubt, are kind-hearted law-abiding men who would never dream of committing murder in private life. On the other hand, if one of them succeeds in blowing me to pieces with a well-placed bomb, he will never sleep any worse for it. He is serving his country, which has thepower to absolve him from evil: George Orwell London. UK. 1941No, He is a patriotic slave.
Whoa Al Rebublican..You deserve a standing ovation. Well said. That was a slap on the freakin westerners! Bloody terrorists in suits.
As an Muslim Arab , I think there is no denying that we live in a patriarchal society where the standards are set at the top then get all the way to the level of each individual.That is why I would not say that we still have only "pockets" of the dark ages, it is more than that although we have many enlightened men and women who see violence against , and control of another person as a sign of ignorance and backwardness. When you get too much money you seemingly assume it is safe to forget about a decent education. It is interesting I think to see how religion is abused in favor of males. Actually in all religions (as all were manufactured in the dark ages) there was not there any female prophets, even god seems male and it is (in Arabic we say –he- for him). We have several top notch Islamic reformist who can reasonably show that our religion is not that strict and rigid if it was not for those Wahabis who hijacked it.
Liam said.."If you don't like it leave..............""I can't, my husband won't allow me"OH YEAH?? IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, LEAVE!!!!!
"As I write, highly righteous and patriotic human beings are making preparations to kill me. They do not feel any enmity against me as an individual, nor I against them. In fact, they say they are doing everything altruistically, for my benefit.They are doing their duty towards God, as the saying goes. All of them, I have no doubt, are kind-hearted law-abiding men who would never dream of committing murder in private life. On the other hand, they will surely succeed in blowing me to pieces with a well-placed bomb preferably in a marketplace where my womenfolk are shopping, or at a bus shelter (target of choice!) where office-goers and school children are waiting, and they themselves will have been assured a secure place in Paradise. They will do this everyday, for the sake of my country and my people. They will continue blowing us, our womenfolk and our children to bits. Testimony to their righteous, holy, noble and brave "resistance" will be the assorted body parts of adults and children that are to be picked up and disposed of everyday. A sacrifice of course, but nothing compared to the honour of having unwittingly become martyrs in a great cause. And for those who think killing innocent, unsuspecting people for a good cause is somehow wrong, these holy, righteous, brave folk have the trump card: Don't blame us....it's all their (somebody else--the enemy they're supposed to be fighting) fault."--oink oink, December 2006
To oink oink, yes, everybody see how absurd that is no buts no ifs it is crazy and it should be dealt with.Oprah tackled such absurd mindless teror and violence in here "Schools in Crisis" yesterday.
dxb541, yes men and women are different. But women are people with identities, not just property to tell what to do by men. They are just as smart as men, not too stupid to do anything by themselves, as they are often treated. That is one reason why I left Islam, I wasn't willing to be treated that way. Just because someone is a "man" (I use that term lightly, bossing a woman around does not make a male a man), doesn't mean he is smarter than me or knows better than me what is best for me.A. Proud to be a former Muslim
Well Said A.and Congratulations on the smart move.- DD
We are all slaves in someone's eyes. Again wake up and smell the coffee.To money, acceptance, social standing, the list goes on and on. Mainly money though. Might just makes right. Sometimes I think the golden cage is preferable to the sink and swim. It all depends on perspective.
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