Futuristic festival of un-fun

A featherlight date souffle, like foaming-creme-brulee flavoured with rich syrupy dates, is an excellent reason to long for the arrival of Ramadan, when it will make its debut in the Ritz Carlton's Ramadan tent.

The other, even better reason to long for Ramadan is that its arrival heralds the end of yet another GITEX. This annual hell-fest of tech, IT, and related cybercrap is suffered by hacks, PR bunnies, IT geeks and weary retailers alike, and is enough to make anyone revert to slate and abacus.

If only GITEX could be biennial, like the superb Dubai Air Show, with its fantastic fighting aircraft and thick-necked foreign military.

Or even better, bicentennial: meaning no one would have to endure it more than once in their lifetime - which is one time too many for most.

A Right Royal Knockabout

If the aeroplane is going to crash, one may as well expire in style by being in First Class. Fortunately it arrived safely, so fellow hack Hoffle-Jones and I enjoyed the full benefits of our premium-class seats, menu and service.

Entry to Qatar was in full royal style, whisked off in shiny limos straight from the plane to a special VIP lounge. No clambering on to a crowded cattlebus to stand in line awaiting luggage, and passport control, and immigration in a dingy terminal. Just a quick, cool, easy reception and cups of sweet Arabic tea in a large and beautiful room while invisible elves dealt with passports and baggage claim.

The Ritz Carlton Doha is a god of a hotel. Vast, labyrinthine, splendid beyond imagining. Tucked away indoors in its spacious depths are two full sized tennis courts, a 25-metre swimming pool, huge men's and women's spas, racquetball courts and squash courts, and doubtless a fully turfed cricket pitch, had we looked hard enough. Outside is another sprawling, palm-tree-scattered oasis pool, with a wealth of empty sunloungers. No germans wielding towels at dawn here.

Everyone in Dubai describes Qatar/Doha as "small", "boring", "dull", or roll their eyes with a look of pity. They are either lying or stupid. Doha is beautiful by day, glittering by night. It is an endlessly spacious, growing city, spread along a vast stretch of turquoise water, with palm trees, walkways, and very little traffic. Qataris are outstandingly hospitable and speak excellent English. Desire to ever leave Qatar is currently about nil.