Bur Dubai Island

Forget The Palm: the world's biggest artificial island hasn't even been built yet, but is already home to hundred of thousands of people. Introducing Bur Dubai Island, several crowded inner-city suburbs about to be encircled by the world's largest seawater moat. A glamourous residential prospect indeed.

Half a dozen major roads and myriad smaller roads will be severed by the Dubai Creek extension, not a particularly pleasant prospect for traffic despite promises of bridge building. Safa Park appears safe, going by Gulf News' map, but Jumeirah Beach Park might not be so lucky. The Co-op - so beloved of Emiratis doing their weekly shopping with all the family at 3am on a school night - also seems to be in the clear, despite persistent rumours of its imminent demolition.

The biggest feature of the Creek extension will be Business Bay, which will also hold a Guinness World Record for being the world's least bay-like bay. It is neither a body of water nor even part of the coastline. "Business Moat" would be a more appropriate name. Its aim is to be "similar in nature to Manhattan or Ginza, which are the business centres for cities like New York and Tokyo" and it will also feature "fascinating canals". Fascinating as in what, gondolas towed by giant hammour?

Looming over everything like a huge pointed lighthouse will be the beautiful Deathspire, set to get a Guinness World Record for being the world's tallest tower for the shortest amount of time.

And Dubai it will once again be unrecognisable from how it is today, just as it is currently unrecognisable from five years ago.

Ancient Dubai

"It was the Gulf's destiny to choose Dubai as its bride, with the Creek as her necklace."

One of the sandlands' best kept secrets is Dubai museum, tucked away near the traditional Bastikiya windtowers areas of Bur Dubai, in the restored Al Fahidi fort. It is a superb trip for tourists, new residents and longer-term expats alike.

The night-time desert exhibition, with shadowy Bedouin sitting around the glowing embers of a fire, is a must-see. As well as the archaeological exhibits, that date from several thousands of years BC. Some light is also shed on that mysterious ancient site in the middle of Jumeirah, fenced off from public access.

Interesting also to learn that the ancient Greeks called Dubai Creek the River Zara, and to see the many pre-Islamic, snake-shaped talismans found at Serpent Mountain in Al Qusais. Even more fascinating to learn there is (or was) a mountain at Al Qusais, which is mainly an industrial area today.

The Erring Eye

Where to start with the glaring mistakes, misunderstandings and swallowed-down-myths in this Asia Times "Roving Eye - Dubai" article?

1. "Dubai... is a self-described "door to a market of more than 1 billion consumers"."
"Self-described" for a very good reason: it's completely misleading. The vast majority of the billion "consumers" at Dubai's door are dollar-a-day third-worlders. They won't be turning up for a luxury stay at the Ritz Dubailand any time soon.

2. "Most of all, [Sheikh Zayed] had every reason to be proud of his family's intuition and business acumen - as already in the 1940s they had decided to drain Dubai's port while competitors were sleeping."
No. Zayed's family are the Al Nahyans. The Maktoums run Dubai and dredged the Creek. And the "competition" was Sharjah, part of the UAE. And the Creek was actually dredged in the 1950s and Port Rashid built in the 1960s.

3. "Sheikh Zayed was promised as he lay dying that Dubai would continue to flourish - even without gambling casinos. Not for long, it now seems. Arab Las Vegas, anyone?"
Does anyone else find this touching deathbed scene more than a little absurd to imagine? Not to mention completely irrelevant, as Zayed's main concern would have been Abu Dhabi and Al Ain, and the UAE as a whole.

4. "In this mish-mash of wealthy Arab women covered in silk black chadors"
Try black georgette abayas.

5. "armies of men in dishdashas and fake gold Rolexes"
Try solid gold. Fakes are for tourists and expats.

6. "In the totally deregulated airport, anyone may land piloting any sort of aircraft."
Time to patch up the Zeppelin with sellotape and book a landing slot - the DCA will be waiting with open arms.

7. "Dubai remains in essence a protectorate - a status not substantially different from the tribal sheikhdoms dominated by the British until 1971."
Just like New York is a protectorate of Washington. (Did someone forget to decommission the Trucial Scouts?)

8. "During the 2003 invasion and occupation of Iraq, Dubai was neutral. Thus no al-Qaeda attacks [...] an al-Qaeda attack on Dubai remains unlikely."
Sez who? Osama?

9. "If only Dubai realised that $300 billion would buy the entire outstanding debt of the developing world."
So? What's the point here, get the chequebook out? The US 2007 military budget is $463 billion, excluding Iraq.

10. "[Sheikh Mohammed] only acceded to power last January after the death of his elder brother"
No. Sheikh Mo has been in power as Crown Prince since 1995 and has singlehandedly driven the development of Dubai long before ascending to the Rulership.

11. "The "diversification" may have been one-sided so far - it revolves around tourism, real estate and commercial projects."
Surely this would make it three-sided? Quite apart from the fact that it also involves trade, heavy industry, aviation, finance, IT and media (unless they're all lumped in as "commercial").

12. "Five years ago, Dubai's Internet City was literally desert sand."
DIC opened in October 2000.

13. "Ibn Battuta... was reborn as a mall [with] "Chinese", "Indian", "Persian" or "Moroccan" halls."
Andalucia, Tunisia, Egypt, Persia, India, China. No Morocco. Nor is Morocco in any way interchangeable with Persia.

14. "If she's a woman and works as a maid or in a hotel, she can be sexually harassed - and there will be no recourse."
Sexual harassment is a crime in every emirate of the UAE. Her chances of succeeding in an action may be slim, but there is recourse.

15. "Foreign companies can only operate by paying a UAE kafeel (sponsor, guarantor)"
Not if they're in a freezone, where 100% foreign ownership is permitted.

16. "Everyone knows there's a property-market bubble and the stock market is bound to fall."
Terrible journalism. Nobody "knows". People suspect/predict/reckon/speculate and hedge their interests accordingly. And not everyone agrees...

Oh we do like to be beside the Creekside

But maybe not to actually swim in it:

"Parts of Dubai Creek are so polluted with sewage the water is hazardous to human health, according to a Municipality study. Water between Aweer Sewage Treatment Plant and Garhoud Bridge contains high levels of bacteria such as e.coli, which can cause stomach complaints.

"The jet ski rental at Garhoud Bridge, which is scheduled to close at the end of the year, falls within the infected area."

Pleasant. Apparently there is only one sewage treatment plant currently serving Dubai, which "discharges approximately 50,000 to 100,000 cubic metres of treated effluent into the upper part of the Creek every day."

Not nice for Dubaians and even less nice for the fishes. The odd sheep's head floating around the shallows isn't much a of a draw either.

Jumeira Beach Hole

The world's dross, tack and riff-raff overrun the JBH - it must have the most downmarket clientele of any hotel in the Emirates. From shaven-headed British lobsters baking themselves on the crowded tiny beach - only a stage less appetising in appearance than the nightly buffet - to Eastern Europeans of questionable profession tottering around in bikinis and six-inch heels, hanging off the arms of their "grandfathers", this is a crucible of cringe.

Last night we fled this hell, escaping by abra over the creek just before sunset. Blustery winds drove huge flocks of gulls onto the water, the air was thick with white wings, we sailed past skyscrapers gleaming with reflected gold, big wooden dhows unloading dubious wares from Iran, all the way to Deira-side and a long trek on foot to Cucina at the Marriott.