Kylie UAE terror plot

There could surely be no source in the world more reliable or well-informed than the greatly respected Daily Star newspaper, so Kylie Minogue may want to consider wearing a kevlar miniskirt when she performs at the Atlantis in November:

Spies have reportedly uncovered a terror plot involving Kylie Minogue's forthcoming gig in the United Arab Emirates.

According to the Daily Star, British spies are investigating a threat to the concert, which is scheduled to take place at the opening of the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai on November 20.

"We believe terrorists may be planning to carry out attacks in the United Arab Emirates," a British Embassy spokesperson is quoted as saying.

"Attacks could be indiscriminate and could happen at any time, including in places frequented by expatriates and foreign travellers."

Meanwhile, journalists who long ago sold their souls for free "seven star" hospitality are raving about the wonders of the sandlands' latest superhotel.

Longer time expats sadly remember the days when one could sit among the shady palms on the Ritz Carlton beach, with no cranes lighting up the night sky behind and before. The days when the sea was a black infinity lit only by the moon, not by the garish concrete splendour of endless Palm Islands and skyscrapers.


Comments

Overheard at the Hiltonia

It's alright - emergency over - everyone can come out from their concrete bunkers and air raid shelters. Because that recent terror warning from the British Government turns out to be just a misheard chat between two drunk blokes in a pub:

A diplomatic source said the warning was issued based on a personal conversation between the two Arab men in the Hemingway bar in the Hiltonia Hotel in Abu Dhabi. The bar is frequented by hundreds of Britons and Americans.

One drunk man told the other in jest: "If someone wants to scare all these people and make them run away, just say there is a bomb. A belt bomb will kill hundreds of them."

The source said it is believed that Britons sitting near the men overheard the conversation and thought it was serious.

What a relief! Because as everyone knows, foreign governments routinely post overheard inebriated pub chatter as Official Terror Warnings. Thank god for the rapid propaganda amendments from the local UAE press to suppress sort everything out!

Meanwhile the high alert warning remains on the UK Foreign Office website. One would think they might consider amending their own website before tipping off Gulf News.


Comments

UAE terror alert

So the sandlands are now on a "high risk" terror alert, but what does that really mean? Don't go to nightclubs? Avoid cinemas? Avoid fellow infidels? Don't go to church?

BBC Security correspondent Frank Gardner quotes British officials as saying the information comes from a number of sensitive sources and they are working hard with the Emirati authorities to address it.

"There is a high threat from terrorism," an official travel advice notice for the country said. "We believe terrorists may be planning to carry out attacks in the UAE."

The threat of terror has always been a large sinister bear in the woodshed for Dubai's growing tourism industry. The challenge faced by the Dishdashes-That-Be is how to keep up the safe image while not being seen to misinform the public or create disproportionate fear.

Traditionally terror threats in Dubai are met with media blackouts. Anyone remember the possible attempt on a church in Karama in 2005? It took place the same night this deadly bomb went off at a hall in Qatar, amid threats by some splinter terror group that they were targeting churches. We'll never know if there was a genuine attempt in Dubai: chances were it could have been a drunken driver careering badly onto the pavement nearby. Everything was cleared up, hushed up and blotted out.

We can only hope that these shadowy threats remain potential, and that the so far extremely effective UAE anti-terror authorities continue their good work. It is significant that there has been no major incident in the UAE in the past years, while regionally and internationally there have been continued Qaeda-inpsired murders of innocents.

Londoners got straight back on the tube after the attacks there. And that is what sandlanders must do, in their own fashion. The minute one starts living in fear and restricting ones own freedoms, then the extremists have already won.


Comments

The cloud across the sun

If Al Qaeda's latest threats to target the Gulf weren't worrying enough, this unnamed UAE official confirms that terrorists are already active in the sandlands:

The United Arab Emirates has not seen any attacks, but many factors could make it a prime target. The country is home to a U.S. air base, the freewheeling and cosmopolitan Emirates welcomes Westerners for beach vacations, and it has the Mideast’s busiest airport in Dubai. The UAE also has a special forces team in Afghanistan.

That hasn’t escaped notice by militants. A government official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said several plots had been broken up and would-be terrorists arrested.

It is the shadow that has always been here, darkening the gold and the glitter; the shiny newness of luxury malls and hotels; the booming economy and massive tourism influx. Shaitanic terrorism. Destroying innocent people, and destroying the image of a great religion.

Living legends

An interesting article in 7Days on UAE urban legends makes a very salient point:

"When I was growing up in Abu Dhabi, there were many more stories," says Francesca, a media professional.

"Because nothing reached the papers when there actually was a murder, you believed stories of women disappearing from the beach."

Control people's access to information, keep the public ill informed, and gossip, rumourmongering and conspiracy will flourish. Are you listening?

The most important debunked myth is the never-help-with-accidents one. "Expats are often warned never to get involved in an accident. If a victim dies, you will end up in prison even if you had merely stopped to help. Lawyers and police forcefully deny it." A relief for the many good samaritans of the sandlands.

But by far the best, juiciest (and hopefully most true) legend:

Secret tunnels
According to hoary expat lore there is a tunnel connecting one of the city’s most prestigious hospitals with a nearby bar of ill repute. The story goes that a notorious figure now pursued by international justice was a customer at both institutions.

The Erring Eye

Where to start with the glaring mistakes, misunderstandings and swallowed-down-myths in this Asia Times "Roving Eye - Dubai" article?

1. "Dubai... is a self-described "door to a market of more than 1 billion consumers"."
"Self-described" for a very good reason: it's completely misleading. The vast majority of the billion "consumers" at Dubai's door are dollar-a-day third-worlders. They won't be turning up for a luxury stay at the Ritz Dubailand any time soon.

2. "Most of all, [Sheikh Zayed] had every reason to be proud of his family's intuition and business acumen - as already in the 1940s they had decided to drain Dubai's port while competitors were sleeping."
No. Zayed's family are the Al Nahyans. The Maktoums run Dubai and dredged the Creek. And the "competition" was Sharjah, part of the UAE. And the Creek was actually dredged in the 1950s and Port Rashid built in the 1960s.

3. "Sheikh Zayed was promised as he lay dying that Dubai would continue to flourish - even without gambling casinos. Not for long, it now seems. Arab Las Vegas, anyone?"
Does anyone else find this touching deathbed scene more than a little absurd to imagine? Not to mention completely irrelevant, as Zayed's main concern would have been Abu Dhabi and Al Ain, and the UAE as a whole.

4. "In this mish-mash of wealthy Arab women covered in silk black chadors"
Try black georgette abayas.

5. "armies of men in dishdashas and fake gold Rolexes"
Try solid gold. Fakes are for tourists and expats.

6. "In the totally deregulated airport, anyone may land piloting any sort of aircraft."
Time to patch up the Zeppelin with sellotape and book a landing slot - the DCA will be waiting with open arms.

7. "Dubai remains in essence a protectorate - a status not substantially different from the tribal sheikhdoms dominated by the British until 1971."
Just like New York is a protectorate of Washington. (Did someone forget to decommission the Trucial Scouts?)

8. "During the 2003 invasion and occupation of Iraq, Dubai was neutral. Thus no al-Qaeda attacks [...] an al-Qaeda attack on Dubai remains unlikely."
Sez who? Osama?

9. "If only Dubai realised that $300 billion would buy the entire outstanding debt of the developing world."
So? What's the point here, get the chequebook out? The US 2007 military budget is $463 billion, excluding Iraq.

10. "[Sheikh Mohammed] only acceded to power last January after the death of his elder brother"
No. Sheikh Mo has been in power as Crown Prince since 1995 and has singlehandedly driven the development of Dubai long before ascending to the Rulership.

11. "The "diversification" may have been one-sided so far - it revolves around tourism, real estate and commercial projects."
Surely this would make it three-sided? Quite apart from the fact that it also involves trade, heavy industry, aviation, finance, IT and media (unless they're all lumped in as "commercial").

12. "Five years ago, Dubai's Internet City was literally desert sand."
DIC opened in October 2000.

13. "Ibn Battuta... was reborn as a mall [with] "Chinese", "Indian", "Persian" or "Moroccan" halls."
Andalucia, Tunisia, Egypt, Persia, India, China. No Morocco. Nor is Morocco in any way interchangeable with Persia.

14. "If she's a woman and works as a maid or in a hotel, she can be sexually harassed - and there will be no recourse."
Sexual harassment is a crime in every emirate of the UAE. Her chances of succeeding in an action may be slim, but there is recourse.

15. "Foreign companies can only operate by paying a UAE kafeel (sponsor, guarantor)"
Not if they're in a freezone, where 100% foreign ownership is permitted.

16. "Everyone knows there's a property-market bubble and the stock market is bound to fall."
Terrible journalism. Nobody "knows". People suspect/predict/reckon/speculate and hedge their interests accordingly. And not everyone agrees...

Eye on Dubai

Dubai is making more headlines than Paris Hilton these days. And unsurprisingly, there's as much dirty linen as glittering party frocks hanging on the line.

The Sunday Times exposes the victims of the "Light House Affair", a multimillion dollar property fiasco. Due to be finished last month, the planned Marina tower is a few abandoned foundations in the sand:
“We could lose our money, our flat, our future — everything,” says Roger Blakeley, 46, from Lancashire, who has put down £90,000. “We chose Dubai because Sheikh Mohammed (the emirate’s ruler) assured western investors their money would be safe. It’s time for Dubai to show that foreign buyers have rights and are protected when things go wrong.”

The admittedly partisan and patchily written DAFKA comes up with the bizarre theory that falconry is funding Al Qaeda. According to former UAE falconer "Alan Parrot":
“The Sheiks fly into hunting camps in Pakistan and Afghanistan on C-130 military cargo planes filled with SUV’s, supplies and even steamer trunks full of cash. They meet with al Qaeda leaders or bin Laden himself while in these camps and discuss their Muslim obligations and unity. When they leave, they leave all the vehicles, supplies and any other useful equipment behind as donations to al Qaeda for its efforts at jihad."

The Sun reveals the details of Naomi Campbell's million-quid birthday bash at the Burj:
"The party, starting on Sunday, is being hosted by Naomi’s boyfriend — multi-millionaire Dubai playboy Badr Jafar. Each of the three days will be themed, with Sunday dubbed “All White”."

And the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review wades through the gleaming hotels, booming business and mega projects to reach the stunning conclusion:
"So beneath the glitz and gleaming skyline Dubai is a theocratic Islamic state that no American would want to be a citizen of for more than an hour."

Well, as they keep kindly pointing out to us, none of us non-dishdash will ever be citizens here or have any political rights. We're just "guests", temporary people, visitors, here to make a few, increasingly worthless oily dollars, so move along, move along.

Very dirty laundry

Billions of dollars are laundered in Dubai every year, through organised crime such as arms smuggling, drugs smuggling and prostitution, according to Dubai police expert Laurence Al Moalim:

"Though mainly European, the offenders belong to other parts of the world too. No UAE national has so far been convicted of these crimes. Dubai and Bahrain used to be transit points for launderers," he added.

Dubai's "attractive" financial structure is partly to blame, with its tax-free status. A thriving hawala system, due to a huge population of low-wage Asian expats, also facilitates the transfer of black funds, as does the emirate's famous gold souq.

As Al Moalim and even the CIA note, Dubai and UAE Federal authorites are making efforts to fight money laundering. But the country's strategic location, and historical status as a trading hub, make it vulnerable:

But Dubai also serves as the region's criminal crossroads, a hub for smuggling, money laundering, and underground banking. There are Russian and Indian mobsters, Iranian arms traffickers, and Arab jihadists. Funds for the 9/11 hijackers and African embassy bombers were transferred through the city. It was the heart of Pakistani scientist A. Q. Khan's black market in nuclear technology and other proliferation cases. Half of all applications to buy U.S. military equipment from Dubai are from bogus front companies, officials say. "Iran," adds one U.S. official, "is building a bomb through Dubai."

Dubai authorities and the new DIFC have a tough battle ahead.

Safe for now?

An interesting, if disturbing, article looks at the prospect of a terror attack in Dubai, after the attacks in Jordan and continued threats to perceived western allies in the region.

The article points out that Dubai has enjoyed "a remarkably terrorist-free existence, the only recent such attack being the discovery and defusing of a bomb in a shopping mall in 1999".

In this era of terror across the globe, it is hard to imagine any nation being exempt from danger. But the article identifies several reasons why Dubai might actually be safer than most. One is Dubai's historic connections and strong trade links with Iran.

"It suits Tehran, which has previously sponsored terrorism in Saudi Arabia, to have a gateway into the Arab Gulf. To some extent the mini-state is under its protection."

Another is terrorists deliberately keeping Dubai as an "open city". Other theories the article proposes are probably unsafe to repeat here given the UAE's lack of media freedom, so to keep the unbeloved proxy happy, they must be read at the original source.

ECSSR warns on Al Qaeda

An editorial by the UAE government-run Emirates Centre for Strategic Studies and Research, reported by Associated Press, warns that Al Qaeda is busy recruiting and sinking roots into the region:

"The United Arab Emirates has so far been spared even though it has been a key player in the U.S.-led war on terrorism. Authorities have arrested at least two alleged high-profile al-Qaida members, passed laws against money laundering and kept a close watch on Islamic charities.

"Terrorism specialists have said Dubai was an ideal logistical hub for al-Qaida because of its liberal, cosmopolitan lifestyle and freewheeling business rules. Other gulf states, such as Bahrain and Qatar, could also be targeted because of their close ties to the United States. Like Dubai, they are home to a huge expatriate work force."

The report doesn't single out any specific country as a target, but is warning of a collective danger to the growth and stability of the region:

"Despite all the regional disputes over Iraq, it must be agreed that defeating al-Qaida is an Arab and Islamic goal... . The result of the battle against terrorism in Iraq is linked to stability in the Middle East," the report said.

UAE message of peace

While rogue preachers throughout the West are free to push a perverted form of Islam to impressionable young men, in the UAE the message is one of peace and tolerance: true Islam.

Abu Dhabi: Imams of all mosques across the country have strongly denounced the stream of bloody violence in Muslim countries and the entire world, describing those who carry out bloody acts as evil.

The Friday sermon (Jumma Khutba) yesterday focussed on the issue of terror, describing it as an act of evil and perpetrators of terror attacks as evil people.

The imams said terrorism is against Islamic teachings and all other religions and human principles, because Islam is the religion of peace, justice and tolerance. Those who carry out bloody acts are not Muslims and have nothing to do with Islam.

There are several reasons why things are different in the UAE. The first is that the population - national especially - tends to be more highly educated and suffers less poverty than a lot of muslims living in more deprived areas elsewhere in the world.

But crucially, the UAE government actively prevents any misinterpretation of the prophet's message by supervising the appointment of preachers and content of weekly sermons:

"The Federal Ministry of Awqaf and Religious Affairs distributes weekly guidance to both Sunni and Shi'a Sheikhs regarding religious sermons and ensures that clergy do not deviate frequently or significantly from approved topics in their sermons. All Sunni imams are employees of either the Federal Ministry of Awqaf and Religious Affairs or individual emirate ministries. In 1993 the Emirate of Dubai placed private mosques under the control of its Department of Islamic Affairs and Endowments. This change gave the Government control over the appointment of preachers and the conduct of their work."

Western governments should have the guts and wisdom to do likewise.

A sandy cesspit

Ask any Gulf Arab what they think of Saudi Arabia and their answers will be more consistent than if you asked an academy of mathematicians the answer to 2+2. Despite the fact that KSA is "guardian" of the two holiest places, there isn't a non-Saudi that can stand the place. Businesses trips to the Kingdom are loathed and dreaded by male arabs and expats alike.

Now Saudi Arabia is objecting to a causeway that the UAE plans to build to Qatar, to make travel easier. One could already travel between the UAE and Qatar by land, if the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia wasn't so backwards, restrictive and uncooperative as to make it impossible for anyone to pass through a tiny bit of its land.

According to one report, Saudi Arabia is also totally against the building of a bridge that Qatar and Bahrain are currently planning to build. “This is because Riyadh fears this kind of bridges would enhance the affinity and rapprochement between the small member countries of the Gulf Cooperation Council."

“Relations among the UAE, Qatar and Bahrain are currently witnessing improvement, making the kingdom to see how their relations develop within the Gulf environment. This follows the distancing of Bahrain and UAE from the kingdom in recent times, while Oman is closer to the new Gulf bloc of the UAE, Bahrain and Qatar. As for Kuwait, it is now keeping a close eye on the developments before it decides where to align itself”, the report said.

But who would want to travel through Saudi Arabia anyway? Its own interior minister admits that the Kingdom is a hotbed of terrorism, unlike the peaceful Emirates and Qatar, where educated men and women can work together without fear of stoning, women can drive, and mad matawas with sticks don't beat up the populace and force young girls to burn to death rather than escape a blaze in their pajamas.

Death in Doha: Qaeda in Qatar?

The first bomb in Qatar: bad news for the entire Gulf.

"A suspected suicide bomber targeting a theatre near a British school in Qatar has killed one male Briton and injured about 12 other people.

"The car bomb blast occurred at the Doha Players theatre outside the capital, Doha, where Shakespeare's Twelfth Night was being performed. "

Still no confirmations of who was behind the attack, carried out by an Egyptian national, but the fact that it took place on the second anniversary of the US invasion of Iraq, coupled with the wester expat location (a theatre) suggests anti-western sentiment. The UK's former UAE ambassador, Antony Harris, points out that:

"Doha was the base from where the US organised the invasion so it's not a coincidence, it's a deliberate act."

The attack came two days after the suspected leader of Al Qaeda's Saudi wing urged Muslims in Gulf states to wage holy war against "crusaders", according to Reuters, making it possible that the Egyptian was inspired to act alone.

There is also the possibility that Qatar was targeted because of Al Jazeera, which continues to broadcast opinions controversial and unpopular in many Arab nations.

Al Qaeda at the Holiday Inn

Last night included the ordeal of sitting next to the ultimate horror expat couple, so brilliantly encapsulated in the "Jumeirah Jane" poetry book as Umm Seqeim Sarah-&-Tony. Generally from the northern climes of Britain, him overpaid as a mid-manager in some port or construction type affair, her possibly a low-level marketing person or receptionist in a company racist enough to desire a flashy pale-face over a cheaper and harder-working subcon.

This couple was painfully thick, painfully racist, and painfully boring. The dinner table was regaled with every bad expat legend imaginable. If nothing else, we are now more au-fait with the layout and (lack of) emergency exits at Zinc nightclub than its architects. And forewarned about the alarmingly high frequency of sexual attacks.

"This Emirates air hostess was nearly abducted outside her building at eight in the morning, they tried to get her into a car."

"Oh. When was this?"

"About two years ago."

The highlight, as usual, was the 11th of September Conspiracies.

"Those men that flew the planes, they came to Dubai first Holiday Inn."

The obvious remark was made that if one was enjoying the last two weeks of ones life, surely the beachside Burj or Royal Madge would be the hotel of choice, not the dreary Holiday Inn of urban Karama. Sarah'n'Tone failed to comprehend.

It turned out Al Qaeda were actually holidayin' in Dubai. Allegedly.