Whipping up some fun in Al Ain

There has always been a rumoured seedy side to the lush green oasis town of Al Ain. Rumours of wife-swapping parties among bored western expats. Rustlings in the palm trees for illicit liaisons at the dead of night.

And now this latest sexy sting:

AL AIN — The Commercial and Economic Activities Department (CEAD) at the Al Ain Department of Municipalities and Agriculture, Al Ain Municipality, has seized sex products being sold in a shopping mall here.

The items were seized during inspection raids by the CEAD team. Omer El Dheib, an inspector at the CEAD, said the seized items included sex creams, pornographic pictures, and whips among other items.

Never mind. There should still be plenty of camel whips on sale.

Cannibalism in Al Ain

What makes this story shocking is that happened in lovely, leafy, tranquil Al Ain:

AL AIN: In an horrific act of violence, a Pakistani national hacked his Indian colleague to death with an axe and ate part of his heart at an Al Ain farm, it was reported yesterday. The 35-year old accused is said to have confessed to the murder and claimed he did it because the Indian insulted and abused him. The colleagues who had a previously good relationship got into an argument at work. The accused claims that in a fit of rage he picked up a rock and smashed it over his victim’s head. He then chased the man down the farm with an axe and struck his chest and abdomen. He then lost his senses and went on to eat part of the victim’s heart, it is claimed.

In perma-gridlocked Dubai or repressive Sharjah one could quite understand a person being driven insane (or hungry) enough to the point of eating human organs, but in Al Ain? With all its date palms, camels and a lovely oasis?

Inexplicable.

Thou shalt reside in my smelly hovel

Some sense in the courts for an Al Ain wife who didn't like living in the "stinking accommodation" her husband provided her:

"The woman had filed the lawsuit in Al Ain Shariah Court of First Instance against her husband seeking a ‘proper accommodation’, claiming the one provided by her husband was not fit to live in — being quite old and in dilapidated condition with horrible smells.

"In return, defendant husband filed a counter lawsuit in the very court demanding his wife to obey him, and take his permission before going outdoors."

Chances of this couple reaching their golden wedding anniversary: snowflake/hell.

Crowded house

The family of 54 living in a one-bedroom villa in Al Ain is sad but not suprising. Rents are now so high in the UAE, with no parallel rises in salaries, that poorer locals and expats alike are living in third world conditions:

One bedroom, a small hall, a tiny bathroom and corridor converted into a kitchen, serve as the house for a family of 54 members.

Saad Gubaish Al Yehyaey said: "we are a very big family and live in this small and old house which itself needs to be demolished and rebuilt."

A media associate recently viewed a villa at the Meadows, to find it was currently being inhabited by five Indian families including numerous children:

"It was a three bedroom villa. They had a family in each bedroom, plus one in the study, and one in the maid's room. They even had a sofabed set up on the landing."

Oasis of renewal

"I have been like a desert creature
"Wandering on this earth so cracked and dry
"Only to survive"

When the current horror of Dubai becomes unbearable - with the interminable construction, roadworks and traffic jams - there is only one place in the sandlands to escape to.

The oasis city of Al Ain.

What makes Al Ain so lovely is not its peacefulness, though it is an extremely calm and tranquil place. Nor is it its undeniable beauty: Al Ain is quite simply one of the loveliest cities in the Gulf. Nor even is it its greenery and verdure, being a true garden in the desert, beloved by the late president Sheikh Zayed.

Al Ain is lovely because it has a raison d'être. It is a city that has grown up naturally around an oasis. It has its own natural resources and it has a sense of history. It is not some artificial bubble-town created to woo international businesses, or some recreated faux-Arabesque Al Disneyland with concrete windtowers and fibreglass camels.

If foreigners want to witness true "Arabia" UAE-style, they should come to Al Ain.

Mountainous disappointment

Jebel Hafeet, visited on a recent trip, is currently the subject of criticism in Gulf News:

Al Ain: People expecting to see a well-developed tourist point at Jebel Hafeet, the country's highest mountain, feel frustrated as they find nothing but desolate ground on top.

Many tourists described going up the mountain as a waste of time as there is nothing to see or enjoy.

So what is at the top of this admittedly spectacular crag of rock, jutting up from the flat red sands of Al Ain, magnificent and solitary? Three things: a new Mercure hotel, a palace, and a public cafeteria.

1. The Mercure is a staggering disappointment. Despite its position it has no panoramic views except from a small shisha cafe which was closed. 2/10

2. The palace is inaccessible to the general public. However, from a photography point of view, and fantasy point of view: "woah, imagine living there!" it has some merit. 3/10

3. The cafeteria is utterly execrable. It features nasty, white plastic chairs, serves deep fried anti-food, and has garish coke posters. It has nothing of beauty to recommend it, and nothing remotely traditional or Arabic. 0/10

So while the city it overlooks is a fantasy oasis of date palms, landscaping and civic beautification, poor Jebel Hafeet has been given an immensely raw deal.

"The typical Gulf environment, with its reddish brown dusty and foggy features, is a major hindrance to get a clear view from the top."

This however is not true: the view is spectacular, especially on a clear winter's day.

Green dream

Al Ain was Sheikh Zayed's most beloved city. Already an oasis, he made it greener and more verdant than anywhere else in the UAE.

From the peak of Jebel Hafeet, the city is an impressive expanse of emerald in contrast to the rolling red sands around it.

It may have been an expensive project. It may be environmentally unsustainable. But it is a place of great peace and beauty, and somewhere to remember Zayed and how very greatly we miss him still.

Open desert, closed city part I

Bedouin women have traditionally enjoyed fewer restrictions and less segregation than women living in towns and villages, and it is interesting to speculate whether Sheikh Zayed's extremely progressive views on women stemmed in part from his many years of living and working among the bedu around Al Ain.

In his book Shaikhdoms of Eastern Arabia, Peter Lienhardt notes the desert/city split:

"On the social side, we invariably find that settlement is accompanied with the progressive separation of women, in sharp contrast to the free and usually unveiled condition of women of the bedouin. Bedouin tents are open, giving little privacy to their occupants, but privacy is not necessary when the tents themselves are cut off from strangers by areas of desert. In the towns, the houses are built to be as private as possible [...] the women are expected to stay in the house as much as possible. They are expected to avoid almost entirely any social contact with men outisde the members of the family. The life of the women in the towns and villages is more secluded than that of the women of the desert, whereas the life of the men is more gregarious."

Camel chase

The beautiful oasis city of Al Ain/Buraimi is well known for its camel souq. Tucked away in a sandy, desert area on the outskirts of the city, it features dodgy bearded subcons trying to screw hundreds of dirhams out of unwary tourists for so much as looking at a humped quadruped.

Al Ain is far less well known for runaway camels dodging cars and trucks Frogger-style through the modern city centre. But today was a special day: the very day that a cretinous camel driver decided to lead a mother and baby through the university car park past the main road, not bothering to leash the young one.

Unsurprisingly, the baby camel bolted at the first opportunity through a gate and out into the fast-moving traffic flow. The camel driver did nothing, he just walked on. The camel driver's mate did nothing. Instead, random passers-by were left to rush out and halt traffic, while chasing the terrified beast down with the aid of a few drivers who stopped their cars to help.

The hero of the day was a valiant dishdash who lost a shoe (a white leather sandal) as he raced to grab the bellowing camel's tail and pull it off the road.